


As We Race Towards the Sunset

by palavapeite



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adventure, First War with Voldemort, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mission Fic, Shamanism, Shamans, Some angst, a lot of magical history i invented, cosy in Siberia, handwaving of geographical facts, kissing in a cave, magical creatures i invented, or sorts, snuggling on wolf fur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-31
Updated: 2010-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-22 10:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 58,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3724672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palavapeite/pseuds/palavapeite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's July 1980, the time of the First Wizarding War. A mission for the Order of the Phoenix sends Sirius and Remus to investigate a Ministry official whose loyalties are unclear. It's not like they didn't see the trap coming, but they are rather taken aback at where their mission suddenly takes them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my wonderful betas [nerakrose](http://archiveofourown.org/users/nerakrose) and laurymdragon. 
> 
> Written in November 2010 for NaNoWriMo.

With a 'crack' Remus appeared in the middle of the living room, a bag of groceries in one hand, his wand in the other. A hunted expression was on his face and he turned around to look first behind himself and then hastily around the room.

There was nothing but a battered couch and a brown sock that had been discarded on it carelessly. He took a deep breath.

“Is that you, Remus?” a voice from the kitchen asked and Remus shook his head to snap out of the spooked state he was in.

“Yes,” he answered and was about walk towards where the voice had come from, when another loud 'crack' behind him caused him to whirl around, his wand raised, a hex on his lips...

“Wohoow, Remus!” James exclaimed, both hands raised in defence. Remus panted, adrenaline rushing through his veins.

“James! Fuck, can you not Apparate like that...”

“How _am_ I supposed to Apparate, then?” James cried, still at wand point. Remus quickly lowered his arm, shaking his head.

“Shit... I thought Rosier had caught up with me, after all...”

Visibly deflating, Remus gripped his forehead and James hurriedly took the bag of groceries from his other hand before Remus dropped it. He was shaking all over. Patting his friend's shoulder, James smiled encouragingly.

“It's alright. Nothing happened, yeah?”

“What? What happened?” a third voice joined the conversation when Sirius walked in from the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hand, his wand stuck into his belt. Remus shook his head.

“I had to do a runner. I bumped into Rosier and it was a pretty narrow escape there. Shit... For a moment I really thought I was done for...”

“There, there...” James replied, sitting down next to Remus while Sirius took the groceries into the kitchen. When he returned, it was quiet for a moment, thoughtful looks on all three faces. They all had had too many narrow escapes recently to joke much about Remus's shakiness.

“But you made it. And Rosier'll get shit from the Snakeface for sure,” Sirius eventually spoke, trying to sound cheerful as he sat down next to his two friends. “Means he'll be too sore to bother me on my mission tonight... Oh, by the way, James...”

“I'm sorry,” James interrupted, raised his hands defensively. “Dumbledore already told me to stay at home. I heard of your mission, I have explicit orders not to join.”

“Oh,” Sirius replied and James looked genuinely sorry.

“I'm really sorry, Pads. He said that after... after, you know... the run-in with Snakeface himself last week...” He shrugged a little uncomfortably. “He said Lily and I had better lie low for a bit. ...And she's due next week, I...” He swallowed and Sirius smiled, ruffling his hair.

“Of course. I forgot, sorry... better stay home, huh?”

Blushing, James tried his best to fight back the grin that stole onto his face and he slapped Sirius's hand away. “Jealous?”

“Because you'll be busy juggling a crying brat for the next eighteen years? I think not!” Sirius laughed and emptied his coffee. Putting down the mug on the small table, he gave Remus a nudge in the knee and the other man jerked up from his pensive position, smiling, albeit a bit confusedly.

“Cheer up, Moony! You're alive! We're all alive! You weren't such a pussy back at school, were you?”

Remus smirked and James chuckled.

“No, worse – he was a _Prefect_.”

“Like you're one to talk, _Head Boy_ ,” Remus retorted, his face lightening up in amusement a little. Sirius sighed dramatically and leaned back, stretching his arms.

“Seems like I'm the only one here who's still only good for nothing. How disappointing. Of you, that is.” Dodging Remus's smack, he hid behind James, who, unfortunately, was just about to get up.

“Ouch!” James complained, when Remus accidentally hit him. “Stop hitting on me!”

“Sorry,” Remus breathed, attacking Sirius in earnest now. Sirius had rolled up and looked like he was about to be swallowed by the couch. Gazing down at his friends, James shook his head.

“I should get going, I was just gonna check in on you and see if everything was alright... and it seems it is. Not killing yourselves or each other yet,” he added with a smirk, shaking his head in a patronizing manner. Sirius blinked up at him and winked.

“You take care, alright? Give Lily my love.” He paused and smirked. “ _My_ love, not yours, 'kay?”

“Will do. I'll give her some love, in any case,” James grinned and Remus kicked his backside playfully.

“We can deduce that you've been doing something of the sort from the size of her belly, yes...”

Throwing the two men on the couch a mock kiss, James Disapparated.

Sitting up and slapping Remus's thigh, Sirius grinned.

“Looks like it could be a canine mission, then! Care to join me?”

When Remus hesitated, Sirius frowned and the other man shook his head in embarrassment, blushing a little. “Uhm, Sirius... I dunno...”

“What do you mean 'you don't know'? Has Dumbledore told you to stay at home, too?” He paused. “Is it because of the moon?”

Biting his lip, Remus shook his head and stood up, walking into the kitchen and starting to sort the groceries into shelves and the fridge. Confused, Sirius got up as well and followed his friend, taking his empty coffee cup and putting it down on the counter.

“Remus? Is something wrong?” Sirius asked, sounding concerned all of a sudden. “You know, if this is because of Rosier...”

“No, it's... it's alright, I reckon I can come... uh, I just dunno...” Remus trailed off, frantically shuffling the contents of a drawer around to squeeze a package of pasta in. When he looked up and saw Sirius expression, he sighed. “Okay, I... I had a... you know... a date tonight...”

Sirius's face went from 'concerned' to 'stern'. “Oh yeah? A _date_? Is that it?”

“Listen, I didn't know of your mission, okay...?” Remus defended himself and Sirius snorted, sounding pissy.

“No, it's fine, of course. If you have a date, this is fine. Just because it's fucking war and our ranks get picked off by Death Eaters every other week shouldn't stop you from getting laid...”

Remus groaned and covered his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, but Sirius cut him off. “Since Peter's out with the Prewetts, I'll just ask Dumbledore if James can come, after all. If he wants to be around to see his son being born next week he should just not snuff it tonight, right?”

“Oh, for fuck's sake, Sirius!” Remus burst out, slamming the drawer shut. “Shut up! I wasn't saying any of that and you fucking know it! I was just... oh, never the fuck mind.” Closing his eyes, he leaned his forehead against the cupboard above the counter. “You took me by surprise. I'll come with you, alright?”

Sirius was still glaring at him and Remus was a little hurt when he saw a hint of distrust in his grey eyes. The tension in his neck was creeping up into his skull and gave him a headache. Scrunching up the plastic bag that the groceries had been in he sighed and left the kitchen, staggering back into the living room and slumping down on the couch, staring into space.

Back in the kitchen, Sirius tried to swallow down the rant that was stuck in his throat. He was upset and, to be really honest, not just about Remus. Yet his friend had been the trigger that had released a flood of bottled-up anger that had threatened to bubble up for a while. Closing his eyes and counting to fifty, eighty and one hundred and thirty, Sirius tried to calm down.

When he opened them again, Remus stuck his head in through the door. “I'm gonna go take a shower, 'kay? I need to clear my head...”

“Wait,” Sirius murmured and held a hand out that Remus took with a sigh. Pulling each other close they spent a moment quietly embracing each other, breathing deeply.

When he moved away, Remus murmured. “I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean...”

“I know,” Sirius replied. “I picked that fight, I guess. But Dumbledore's right – 'united we stand-”

“- Divided we fall,” Remus finished the quote and Sirius nodded.

“I'm sorry. I've been edgy all morning. Shift last night was horrible... and then this thing tonight...”

“What is it, anyway?” Remus asked and Sirius smirked.

“Remember Chelyuskov? The Ministry guy?”

“Yeah. What about him?” Remus frowned and Sirius shrugged.

“That's what we'd like to know. From what we've seen and heard he's had contact with Death Eaters. What we don't know is whether he's in trouble and needs protection or rather a well-aimed Stupefy up the ass and a ticket to Azkaban. Dumbledore asked me to check out his premises. He's got a decent amount of land attached to his country house and we're not all that sure what's going on there. We keep getting mixed and weird signals from the place and for some reason we can't scan it magically, either. There's some wards that won't let us, which isn't all that unusual for a Ministry official perhaps, but there's something going on. Might be something fishy, I dunno...”

Remus's frown got deeper. “It does sound fishy. Although... Chelyuskov? Wasn't his family massively involved in fighting Grindelwald? I remember Binns told us that when Grindelwald took Russia they had to flee the country and the first thing they did was come to England and join our forces. Chelyuskov grew up in a family bruised by a megalomaniac. Why the hell would he figure Voldemort was such a good idea?”

“Why would anyone? I have no clue,” Sirius shrugged. “But in any case, he might just as well be in deep shit and need help. Dumbledore wants it checked out.”

“Sounds fair enough.”

“You're in, then?”

“Yeah.”

“We're leaving once it gets dark.”

“Good.”

*

“F-...” Remus bit his lip, suppressing the yell that had formed in his throat. Looking down he freed his foot from a nasty nest of tree roots and a hole in the ground. Rolling his ankle a couple of times he figured nothing was broken or otherwise damaged; it just _hurt_. He glanced around in the darkness and tried to make out Sirius among the trees, jumping when something huge and hairy walked by and rubbed against his leg.

“Sirius, for Merlin's sake,” Remus pressed out and followed the black dog through the bushes, having considerably more trouble finding his path than the four-legged flea-ball ahead of him, not only because James's Invisibility Cloak kept getting caught in branches.

After a while the trees lightened up and they reached a clearing. Narrowing his eyes and staring out into the dark meadow, Remus saw Sirius shifting back into his human form from the corner of his eye.

“What do you think?” he whispered, sliding back the hood of the Cloak and looking at the wooden shack that stood in the middle of the small clearing, sheltered from view by bushes.

“Well, no werewolf inside,” Sirius whispered, cheek in his voice. “I couldn't smell anything.”

“I'd have been surprised if you had. Full moon's only tomorrow night,” Remus replied, grinning, and Sirius shifted closer to him, eyes directed towards the shack.

“I dunno what to think. This is so random, I don't trust it...”

“It's old and decrepit from what I can see,” Remus murmured. “It looks like it's been standing here for decades and nobody has been here lately... the grass doesn't look like anything human stepped on it in a while...”

“Yes. Why wouldn't Chelyuskov tear down the whole thing? It's a shack, or am I missing something?” Sirius asked and Remus shrugged.

“It's a fair walk from the house and not visible from there, either. He might simply not have bothered with it, you know?”

“Fair point. ...So are we having a closer look, then?” Looking around and listening he shook his head. “I haven't seen, heard or smelt anything suspicious or anyone else on the way here...”

“Which couldn't possibly be to lure us into a false sense of security, could it?” Remus breathed. “I'm just saying. This is too good to be true.”

“Change of mind so suddenly?” Sirius replied, sounding surprised. “So far I've had the idea that you were rather convinced of Chelyuskov's innocence...”

“I'm not saying Chelyuskov has anything to do with this,” Remus answered quietly. “But this looks a lot like a trap and I'm merely alerting you to this fact in case your sharp senses have missed it.”

Chuckling quietly, Sirius gently patted Remus's back. “Like that would happen. Right, here we go...” Taking a deep breath, he transformed back into Padfoot and slowly stalked out of the trees' darkness into the meadow. The almost full moon tinged his black fur in a blueish light and Remus waited with bated breath and his wand raised while he watched his friend slowly make his way through the high grass towards the little barn.

Moving silently and listening alertly, Sirius sniffed the air for any unfamiliar scent as he sneaked around the shack, looking for anything unusual or out of order.

A minute later Remus saw Sirius re-emerge from behind the little building and stand still, his head held high in the night breeze. It was completely quiet, so quiet that Remus thought he could hear the dog take a breath before transforming back into the man.

Nothing happened. Almost unnoticeably, Sirius beckoned Remus to join him and the other man pulled the hood of the Cloak back over his head and hesitantly stepped out onto the clearing. Striding across the meadow quickly, invisible except for the rather obvious trail he left in the grass, he came to a halt next to Sirius, who was inspecting the lock on the door.

“There's a spell on this,” Sirius murmured, pointing at the lock with his wand and mumbling. The wand was buzzing softly as it detected traces of magic and Sirius gave it a slight flick that caused the lock to give a screech that rang loud in the silence. Putting a hand on the wood, Sirius pushed lightly and the door opened.

“It's safe. Slip inside,” he murmured to the still invisible Remus once he had made sure with a quick spell that nobody was lurking inside. He felt the movement of his friend's body pressing past him into the hut and followed quickly, stealing a glance back over his shoulder.

“I've got a bad feeling about this,” Remus whispered as he pulled off the Cloak and stowed it away in his pocket with a quick Shrinking Spell. Looking about the shack, he frowned. “What is this?”

“Lumos! I don't know,” Sirius answered, eyeing the objects that hung from the walls and stood on shelves, giving the small room a crammed and stuffed atmosphere. “Looks like a lot of trash; most of it, anyway... is that an elk?”

“Bit small for an elk, I'd think... then again, I've never seen one,” Remus muttered, poking the animal skin with his wand and shoving it aside a little to see what was behind it. There was nothing but the wall. “What do you make of this place?”

“It reminds me dramatically of our Landlord's garage,” Sirius chuckled. “A storage room for nonsense that you can't be arsed to throw out...”

“Except, I don't think a Muggle garage would have enchanted objects in it,” Remus replied and Sirius stepped up to him, looking at the small bone splinter Remus's wand pointed at. It was buzzing with the magic that emanated from the object and Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Well, what have we got here?” he chirped and Remus frowned, shaking his head slowly.

“I'm not sure... I think it's a Portkey.” He sounded genuinely surprised. “What's that doing here? I'm pretty sure it's neither registered nor legal.”

“I'd rather want to know where it's leading,” Sirius remarked, lifting his own wand and pointing it at the object. “Could we tell without actually trying it out?”

“No – at least I can't. Portkeys are illegal to make anyway; I never bothered with them much. And considering all the unpleasant places it could take us, I'd suggest we don't try it out, either,” he added when he saw the look on Sirius's face. “Dumbledore might know a way. He's created a couple, right? We'll tell him and he can take care of this.”

Sirius seemed a little reluctant to let the matter go so easily, but eventually turned away with a sigh, continuing to inspect the rest of the shack. Shuffling through a dusty stack of papers, he called quietly:

“Old newspapers in writing I can't read. Looks Russian. From the 1940s; I suppose from the time Chelyuskov's family came here. Oh yes, it has Grindelwald in it... well, he was prettier than our current lunatic, gotta give him that...” Throwing the paper back on the stack, he coughed as a cloud of dust puffed up. “Well, this looks like a Muggle garage. Random old shit and a Portkey that could lead Merlin knows where. For all we know it might be the cellar of Honeydukes...”

“Only Chelyuskov doesn't really look like he's into chocolate that much,” Remus chuckled.

“Yeah, and I'm not sure Death Eaters go to Honeydukes...” Sirius pressed out, pointing his wand at a mask that looked painfully familiar and that had been placed on a shelf. Remus stepped up to it and poked it with its wand.

“Are you sure this is a... you know... one of their masks?” Running his finger over it, he looked at Sirius. “This has so much dust on it, I'm not sur-”

“Moony!” Sirius suddenly yelled and yanked him backwards.

With a loud pang the door came their way, splinters flying everywhere. Remus could feel pain in his cheek and was overwhelmed by dizziness for a moment, while Sirius pulled him into another corner of the room and stepped in front of him, gazing out into the darkness for a sign of _something_.

“Are you alright?” he asked in between firing spells at who – or whatever – had attacked them, and Remus nodded numbly, touching his cheek and blinking when he saw the blood on his fingers, red in the light of his wand.

Shifting as he saw movement outside the door, Sirius prepared to fire ahead and ask questions later. Remus, too, gripped his own wand and shook off his dizziness with determination. Looking over Sirius's shoulder, he saw a flash of a well-known mask in the darkness and red sparks were already shooting from Sirius's wand as he prepared to throw a Stunning spell.

He never got to. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw a green glow coming from behind one of the old, dusty windows and he had less than a second to think and act before the world slipped out under his feet.


	2. Chapter 2

Blinking against the light that seemed blinding for a moment, Remus scrambled to his feet, looking around for Sirius, who lay on the floor next to where Remus himself had lain a moment ago. Panting hard, Remus felt a cold wave of terrifying relief wash over him, and he took a moment to catch his breath. Touching his cheek, he noticed that the cut couldn't have been deep, since it had pretty much stopped bleeding, and was only hurting a little now.

“Fuck!” Sirius exclaimed and stumbled to his feet, looking about. “What happened?”

Swallowing and absent-mindedly wiping his blood-stained hand on his robes, Remus looked at him. “I grabbed the Portkey.”

“You _what_?” Sirius gaped and Remus shook his head helplessly. “What the hell, Remus? Wasn't it you who said it was oh so stupid to just grab a random Portkey?”

“I... outside – through the window... Sirius, I saw the bloody green light and it was the only thing I could think of...”

Sirius's approaching rant seemed to die in his throat and he stared at Remus.

“Are... are you kidding me?” he eventually croaked and Remus shook his head.

“Swear on my wand, I'm not. I'm sorry, I didn't know what else...”

“Well, there's nothing else you could have done, right?” Sirius laughed, a tint of hysteria in his voice. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and seemed to have considerable difficulties to gather his wits enough to speak.

“Shhhh... it's cold,” he eventually pressed out, hugging himself and looking around. “Where are we?” He spoke with as calm and focused a voice as he could manage. Remus, whose teeth were chattering, although not necessarily just because of the cold, looked around and shrugged.

“Honestly, I have no idea...”

For a moment they stood around, gazing at the emptiness of the scenery surrounding them. There were no trees, just a seemingly endless plain of rocks, partly covered in moss, and marshes. They could see mountains on the horizon, but neither of them could tell how far away they were. There was a profound silence that surrounded them and not even the harsh wind could break.

“It's really bloody freezing,” Sirius hissed, hugging himself tighter and Remus looked at him, nodding, his thoughts racing.

“We should move,” he replied and when he saw Sirius's questioning look, he added. “We don't know who made the Portkey. It could have been Chelyuskov, it could have been our masked friends, it could have been anyone, really. We don't know, but I'm not sure just how long I want to wait here for someone to pop up and prove a theory right.”

Sirius nodded, looking about. “Fair point... which way are we heading, then?”

“I dunno,” Remus shrugged, pointing towards the mountain range. “That way. I have no clue what's there, but it's some goal, at least...”

Without stalling any further they began to march towards the faraway mountains, thankful for the physical exercise that provided them with some outlet for the tension in their muscles on the one hand and kept them warm on the other. For a while they walked in silence, each trying to sort out their thoughts and regain some rational composure. Escaping the killing curse this close wasn't something anyone stomached easily.

Half an hour of quiet walking later, Remus threw a sideways glance at Sirius.

“Where do you reckon we are?”

“Damned if I know,” Sirius replied, looking up at the sky. “I keep thinking – it's day, right? Does that mean we're behind British time? It was night in England... It's also fucking freezing for July...” When Remus didn't reply, he fell silent again.

“No trees,” Remus eventually remarked.

“I dunno,” Sirius blurted out, throwing up his arms. “This could be Alaska, for all I know. It's cold and endless and quiet... Portkeyed around the globe and we can't even be sure. Brilliant...”

“We'll find a way back,” Remus said, sounding like he was absent-mindedly providing an automatic response to a trigger statement without believing or disbelieving it himself. He walked looking at the ground in front of him, his mind working rapidly to assess the situation in a preferably rational and non-hysteric way. The first rule to be followed on all of their missions was not to panic, but to keep their wits together, focus on small things, gather information and draw practical conclusions. They had been in tricky situations before and keeping calm had always proven to be the safest way out – it's what they had been trained to do, told to do by Dumbledore himself.

After a while, during which the mountains didn't seem to have come much closer, they saw a river ahead. Sirius stopped and Remus came to a halt as well. They couldn't quite tell how deep the water was, but they certainly knew it was going to be too cold to swim through, no matter how wide or narrow a stretch they found. Following the river would lead them off their course, parallel to the mountain chain instead of towards it, and a sick, disheartening feeling spread throughout their stomachs.

“I'm tired,” Sirius said, sounding defeated. “And this just sucks. We've been getting slower and slower and it's getting colder and colder... and now this.”

“So what do you suggest we do?” Remus asked, sounding helpless rather than reproachful as he gestured around the place. “I don't see how camping on this plain is such a good idea. There's no shelter from anything.”

“We can Apparate,” Sirius suggested.

“We don't know where we are. I'd like to see you come up with enough Destination and Determination if you don't know where you are now, leave alone where exactly you want to go.”

Sighing, Sirius tilted his head back and looked at the cheerfully bright sky. Taking a deep breath he narrowed his eyes and looked ahead. “How about I am very determined to reach the foot of this mountain? Or exactly this rock over there?” He pointed at a prominent, tall piece of rock in the distance, not far from where the first bigger mountains rose from the plain. “We could focus really really hard on that. It'd have to work, right?”

Remus contemplated the suggestion for a moment, then nodded hesitantly. “I reckon. Well, we can always try? We both know how to fix splinched-off earlobes, so it should be fine.” He paused. “I don't see how anything worse could happen over such a short distance...”

Grabbing their wands, they stood side by side, breathing deeply and staring intently at the rock on the horizon. The wind was howling in their ears and their robes were fluttering about their bodies. The seemed like strange, clothed statues in the wilderness.

“Why isn't it working?” Remus eventually croaked out, his forehead tense with Determination.

“It's not working,” Sirius just stated, looking at his friend. “Like... not at all, right? It's not like I haven't got enough Destination. I have never been this Determined, I swear...”

“That's not it,” Remus agreed. “It just doesn't work. It feels like... like magic has gone.”

“Stupefy!” Sirius cried and pointed his wand at a bird above them.

Nothing happened. Swallowing hard, he tried again, pointing his wand at a random stone on the ground. “Wingardium Leviosa!”

Nothing.

“What's going on?” Remus's voice was a whisper. He tried a number of spells of all kinds and orders, too, but to no avail. Looking at Sirius he shook his head. Suddenly a thought seemed to cross his mind.

“What about Padfoot?”

Sirius looked unsure for a moment, then knit his brow and a heartbeat later, the familiar big, black dog stood in front of Remus, sniffing the air and the ground at his feet, before transforming back into Sirius.

“It's harder than usual,” he said. “It feels like... it takes more energy out of me than it normally should. But it works.”

“Which means that magic isn't gone completely,” Remus reasoned. “It's just... not available to us right now. Or at least not in the way wizards usually use it... I mean, Animagus transformation isn't what you'd call normal magic, right?”

Sirius shook his head. “No. It's... well, it's more individual. It's not like we just learned to use a spell, or like learning how to Apparate. It's kinda internal, connected to your nature and your core as a person... dunno... But it's not the same, no. That's why it takes so long to become one.”

Taking a deep breath, Remus raised his hands to his face and began to rub his temples, nodding. “Good. That gives us... some hope, at least.” Inspecting his wand carefully, he pursed his lips. “My wand is fine, so the problem can't be there, either. It's also not like we've lost our magic as such, right? Because you can still transform and I can still sense the moon in its cycle... What seems broken is... I dunno, our connection with magic?”

“More like, we still have magic, we simply can't use it the way we do normally,” Sirius corrected and Remus nodded. “It feels like there's a wall around it and it can't get out.”

“Yeah...” Remus smirked. “Well, that sucks.”

“It also means we're stuck,” Sirius groaned. “Except... wait...” He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out the two-way-mirror he and James used. Frowning, he tried to make it work. “James? James! Answer, you oaf! We're stranded in the middle of fucking nowhere! Help us get the fuck out of here...!”

Remus watched Sirius yelling at the object for a while, concluding that there was obviously no connection. Sirius's insults got increasingly foul and with a frustrated groan he shoved the mirror back into his pocket.

“Look, we're both tired,” Remus comforted him. “We should... dunno, try to get some sleep? I mean, we must have walked miles away from where we landed. There's nowhere to hide, no matter how far we walk, so we can just as well lie down here and get some rest?”

“I don't like it,” Sirius sighed. “It's like we're lying down on a silver plate for Voldemort to come and get us while we're asleep...”

“I wish I hadn't shrunk the Cloak,” Remus slapped his forehead. “That could have given us some shelter... but as it is, it couldn't even make my whole hand invisible...”

He fumbled around in his pocket for a moment and eventually pulled out a tiny piece of shimmering cloth. Pulling the miniature cloak over his thumb, they watched the finger disappear.

“It's mocking me,” Remus pressed out with annoyance, shoving the Cloak back into his robes. “Well, that was a real smart move, I guess...”

“If you hadn't had both your hands free in the shack, we could also both be dead now,” Sirius remarked and patted Remus's shoulder. “Don't beat yourself up over it. Even if it would have been really handy to have it.” Crouching down, he inspected the ground around them, poking at the earth and moss. “It's not frozen. That's comforting... right?”

“Right,” Remus murmured. “The moss could make an okay ground to sleep on. Better than rocks.”

Nodding, Sirius suddenly transformed into Padfoot again, sniffing around and eventually beginning to dig with his front paws. Remus took a moment to realize that he was digging a small hollow for them to sleep in, just deep enough to shelter them from the wind a little. Smacking himself for not coming up with the idea himself, he tried to help, but Padfoot just growled and snapped at Remus's hands. Raising an eyebrow, Remus backed off and decided to collect moss to sleep on instead.

When the dog had figured that the hole was big and deep enough, Sirius helped Remus to pad it out with moss before lying down in it without further ado. Shifting about a little, he motioned Remus to join him.

“It's still going to be freezing, so come and cuddle up?”

Nodding, Remus lay down and they fumbled about with their arms and legs for a bit. When Sirius still shivered, Remus nudged him softly.

“You know, if this is easier for you in dog form, I'm not going to be pissed off.”

Sirius pondered him quietly for a moment, then nodded, exhaustion written all over his face. A second later, Padfoot rolled up next to Remus, who covered them both with his robes and snuggled up. Running a hand through Padfoot's fur, Remus blinked up at the sky sleepily, watching birds fly overhead. A tired smile tugged at his lips.

“We're in Siberia, Sirius,” he mumbled against the dog's fur. “Freaking Siberia. I just saw a Syrnilus.”

Those were his last words before he drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus did not know how long he had slept before the insistent nudging of a wet snout in his face woke him up. Shielding his eyes against the light of day, his vision came into focus and he startled.

A group of strange people surrounded the pit in which he lay, staring down at him out of dark eyes. None of them seemed to be paying much attention to the big black dog with him, but focused instead on him, who hastily shuffled to his feet and turned around, clutching a wooden stick in his hand.

Remus's heart was pounding in his chest when he remembered that his wand was of no use to him. All he could possibly do with it was poke people in the eye and he had the distinct feeling that he wouldn't get to poke more than two people at most before the rest had got out some weapons he couldn't make out at present. Well, that was not good.

He looked down at Padfoot, who stood right next to him, his fur touching Remus's legs. Stretching his arm down slowly, Remus brushed his fingers across the black coat, which caused Padfoot to look up at him with eyes that reflected the unspoken question of the man inside.

“Stay like this,” Remus murmured. “It'll give us the moment of surprise, should we need it. So far we're still fine... I think.”

Padfoot craned his neck and sniffed at Remus's hand, giving it a short lick of agreement before turning his attention back on the newcomers. Swallowing down the nervous lump in his throat, Remus turned to the side when he saw motion in the hitherto unmoving circle of people.

One of the strangers had taken a step forward and Remus only realized that it was a woman when he heard her voice as she started to address him in a language he did not understand and could not claim to ever have heard in his life. When she had finished, she looked at him as if expecting an answer and his heart sank.

Shaking his head and looking sorry, he told her that he did not know what she had said, careful not to make any sudden or unexpected movements. She spoke again, this time in a language that sounded to Remus like it could have been Russian, but it didn't exactly help him, either.

He shook his head again, looking even sorrier.

The woman gazed back at him for a moment, then stared at Padfoot. Something about the big black dog seemed to irritate her, and Remus could feel his discomfort mix with an irrational anger that he knew to be slightly out of place, but still couldn't help feeling. She was obviously suspicious of them both and it didn't exactly make him feel more at ease.

A couple of tense moments later, she stepped aside and pointed away, towards the river that had caused them to stop and take a nap in the first place. Three boats were sitting by the shore now, manned with only one person each, presumably guards. A couple of dogs were running around, and Padfoot was eyeing them warily, growling quietly when they approached.

Kneeling down beside him, Remus put an arm around the dog's neck and mumbled into his ear, pretending to be calming him down.

“Right, what now? Any ideas? Do we go with them, or do we fight, or run?”

He felt marginally ridiculous for speaking in a cooing voice, but he figured that it was a good idea to keep up appearances for a bit longer. Padfoot seemed to ponder the situation a little, looking at the strangers surrounding them and sniffing the air, as if trying to smell whether they were good or bad. In the end he just licked Remus's face and wagged his tail.

“Thanks a bunch,” Remus hissed and got up, looking at the leader again, nodding and taking a tentative step forward. What the hell, right? He was hungry and thirsty and both he and Sirius would die anyway if they ran around the Siberian tundra without direction any longer. There were other, more dangerous magical creatures indigenous to Siberia than the Syrnilus he had seen before falling asleep, and probably also a number of non-magical ones that could off them quickly enough if they wanted to. The possibility of civilization was still better than certain death in the tundra.

Repeatedly convincing himself that he was doing the right thing despite the sick feeling in his stomach he let himself be guided to the boats and got into the first one, right after the chief woman. He sat down where she motioned him to, Padfoot at his feet.

The boats took off and Remus tried to look calm and observe the landscape they passed through, focusing on little details that might come in handy later at some point. He realized that the river only ran parallel to the mountain chain for another mile or so before making a bend and flowing into another, bigger river that led directly towards it.

Remus was painfully aware of everybody else in the boat, and the steadiness with which they scrutinized him. Nobody spoke, apart from the most necessary commands that every now and then passed between the men as they steered through the icy waters.

Padfoot at his feet was no help. The dog's eyes were alert and observant, but he sat almost too still to be natural. The other dogs, which had been moved to the other two boats, were walking up and down, looking about and barking at birds and at Padfoot, who just looked at them. Every now and then, Remus would give him a soft nudge, or start scratching him behind the ears in order to get some reaction out of him, but every move he himself made seemed to attract attention.

It seemed like it took them hours to arrive at their destination. The mountains were much closer, though, and the ground no longer even and flat as far as one could see.

Remus climbed out of the boat after the woman and followed her away from the river to a small group of tents and constructions that looked like they were a temporary settlement rather than an actual village. More dogs were running around and a small herd of reindeer was visible on the field behind the tents. The sight of a Syrnilus sitting on a wooden rack, eating out of a little girl's hand and letting itself be petted startled Remus, and he realized that the chances that he was dealing with a random, non-magical indigenous community were dwindling rapidly. Even though Syrnili weren't actually explicitly dangerous magical birds as such, they were still wild and capable of doing considerable harm, and wouldn't usually be domesticated by Muggles.

Remus's attention shifted when he noticed the inhabitants of the tents that were going about their business outside, fixing things, tending to animals. People paused and looked up to eye him curiously as he walked behind the strange woman, who carried herself with the distinct air of someone who was in charge. She led the way to a small tent on the other end of the settlement and motioned Remus to get in.

Looking about for Padfoot, he suddenly realized the dog had disappeared, but since the woman looked like she wasn't going to wait, Remus had no choice but to hope Sirius was alright. Holding his breath without noticing, he stepped in.

Anti-climactically, it was completely empty. A couple of furs lay around and there were traces of a fireplace in the middle of the small room, but apart from that, Remus couldn't make out anything special. He looked at the woman, who made a sweeping gesture that he took to be an invitation, or rather order to sit down and wait.

Slowly, he walked over to one of the fluffier looking furs and sat down slowly, never taking his eyes off the woman, in case she changed her mind. When he had sat down, she said something he couldn't understand and stared at him intently. Remus felt stupid.

Biting his lip, he tried to figure out a way of communicating with her, but before he could come up with something useful, someone else entered the tent and Remus's mind shut down. A young girl had come in, carrying a bowl of something that Remus could smell was food. His stomach was churning in anticipation and he only realized now how starved he was. He didn't care what it was, it could have been poison for all he cared, but he prayed it was meant for him and not just for the woman or someone else who would then want to eat it in front of him. He had a feeling that he was quite able to develop murderous tendencies in his current state of mind.

Luckily enough, the bowl was placed in front of him, along with some kind of spoon and a jug of water. Looking up at his hosts, Remus nodded, smiling nervously and the chief woman returned his nod, speaking again, but obviously not expecting an answer any longer. She turned and left the tent the moment she had finished.

Alone with his food, Remus let out a sigh and began to wolf down the stew in front of him. He was only two bites into his meal when the piece of leather that covered the entrance moved and Padfoot came in, his nose twitching as it took in the scent of food. Sitting down in front of Remus, the dog listened for the sounds of approaching people and then transformed back into Sirius, who looked like he was willing to do anything for a bite of whatever it was Remus was eating.

The stew was gone in a heartbeat and neither man was full when they were done, but they felt better than before, at any rate. Wiping his mouth on his sleeve after taking a big gulp of water from the jug, Sirius handed it to Remus.

“Are you alright, then?” he asked and Remus shrugged.

“So far, I guess. How about you?”

“Apart from the fact that this place creeps me out like fuck, yeah. Do you know where we are? Or who these people are? I saw reindeer outside, so we must be pretty far up north. Would explain the cold.”

Remus nodded, taking a sip of water. “Yeah, I think we're in Siberia. As far as I remember Syrnili are only native to the Arctic areas of Russia, right?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Sirius nodded, looking around the tent. “So that was a Syrnilus outside? I didn't know they were domesticated...”

“Me neither,” Remus replied, looking pensive. “I also don't know what to think of the fact that these people apparently have... I mean, Syrnili are magical birds, right? Does that mean those are magic folks of some sort?”

Sirius frowned. “I don't know. It's a little hard to tell, right? Because quite obviously magic doesn't work here...”

“Not for us, no,” Remus pointed out, nodding towards the entrance of the tent. “Doesn't mean it doesn't work for them. For all we know, they might even be the reason we can't use our wands.”

Sirius nodded, a dark look on his face. “Fair point. Although I couldn't see anything magical happening out there. Nothing suggests that they use magic for anything...”

Remus groaned and rubbed his face. “I wish I could understand a word of what they say. It's driving me mad not to know anything about what's even going on...”

Sirius shifted and sat down next to Remus, putting and arm on his shoulders and patting his upper arm consolingly.

“I'm sorry you have to go through this alone,” he mumbled. “I'm not really much use as a dog...”

“I doubt you'd be of any more use as a man,” Remus replied dryly. “Unless you speak their language, that is. If not, you'd be just as clueless as I am.”

“I guess you're right. As far as that is concerned, I'm probably more use as a dog. At least I can kind of communicate with the other dogs... even though they're a bit weird.”

“Are they saying anything interesting?” Remus asked and Sirius shook his head.

“Afraid not. You're a stranger, that's about all I can gather. And the woman is kinda special, like... the leader.” He paused, knitting his brows as he tried to think. “Yeah. Not much more than that. I'm not sure why it's harder to communicate with them than with random animals back home. It could be a weird form of language issue, or... I dunno, maybe it's because we're magically a little impaired...”

“As long as they're not all just obviously excited about eating me later, I guess that's fine,” Remus sighed and Sirius squeezed his arm encouragingly. Leaning in slightly, Remus rested his head on Sirius's shoulder. “I'm still tired. I dunno... do you have any idea for how long we actually slept?”

“No,” Sirius shook his head. “The fact that it never gets dark doesn't really help. Might've been half an hour, might've been ten hours.”

“I sincerely doubt the latter,” Remus objected. “Because I'm knackered. If I have ten hours of sleep I don't wake up grumpy and irritable. And I don't have throbbing headaches, either.”

“Aww,” Sirius chuckled, patting Remus's head. “I dunno... I'm kinda tired too, but then again, I spent most of my time as a dog; it's different...” When Remus didn't reply, he added. “You know, just go to sleep? I can stand guard for a while and wake you up whenever something happens. It's what dogs do, right?”

“Mhh, right,” Remus grumbled in return, keeling over sideways and rolling up on the fur they'd sat on when Sirius moved away. When the man had fallen asleep, Padfoot lingered for a moment, licked the food bowl clean, and then left the tent to sit down outside, keeping an eye on the surroundings.

Nobody seemed to pay him or the tent he guarded much attention except the occasional glance. Everyone appeared to be going about their business undisturbed and only when the sound of drumming began to ring through the village, it distracted everyone from what they were doing. Finishing their current work quickly or abandoning it if necessary, people walked to one of the bigger tents, from which clouds of smoke were rising. The smell of food was still in the air, and Sirius wondered whether the drum announced a general lunch break, or dinnertime or something similar. The sky was bright as ever in the Arctic summer, so it was hard to tell. Then again, Sirius pondered, it might also be a meeting to decide on Remus's and his fate.

Inside the tent behind him, Remus let out a groan and Sirius stuck his head in for a moment to see if he was alright. His sleep was restless and he was rolling about, his facial features twitching, as if in pain. He seemed to be having a nightmare.

Slowly, Padfoot stalked up to him, deciding that waking Remus up was the nicer thing to do. He was about to nudge his face like he had done last time, when suddenly, the drumming became dramatically louder and louder. Confused, Padfoot turned around and stuck his head out of the tent to check what was going on. All the people who had moved towards the big tent before now started to pour out of it again, chanting lowly and in unison to the drumbeat. They built a circle around something Sirius could not make out, but a new smell that was definitely not food filled the air. The drumming got louder and more frantic, as did the voices and chants and the dogs seemed agitated and excited by what was going on.

Padfoot eyed his fellows, trying to find out what the fuss was about. He could not quite follow their reaction to the drumming, since it had a quietening effect on him rather than an agitating one. Yet they seemed to feel oddly connected to the rhythmic beat of the drum, or drums – had trouble to make out whether it was just one drum or many. The more he focused on hearing, the harder it seemed to hear anything at all.

The world around seemed to move and shift, merging and splitting at the same time. Somewhere at the corner of his consciousness, he could hear Remus groan and moan inside the tent, but Padfoot found it impossible to move. He stood paralysed for a moment, feeling as if his insides were being torn into all possible directions at once.

Then everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing that registered in his mind when he regained consciousness was the biting smell that surrounded him. It jerked his brain back into reality with a snap and Sirius struggled to his four feet, shaking his fur. He was exactly where he had been before he had suddenly passed out. The sky was still bright and the fact that it didn't mean anything was starting to drive Sirius mad. He couldn't clearly remember what had happened; it seemed to him like the drumbeat and chanting had simply... carried him off. The last thing he remembered hearing was...

_Remus._

It felt like a cold blade of memory stabbed his mind. Something had woken him up just now. Something had dragged him out of the swamped, dreamlike state he'd been in and brought him back to the conscious world.

It had been a scream. A primal scream unlike anything he had ever heard a human produce, and it had been Remus's.

Looking around frantically, Sirius tried to regain his sense for orientation and organize his thoughts. The scream hadn't been that far off. Through the biting smell of some strange kind of incense, he could make out the smell of fire and he turned on the spot, scanning the surrounding area.

Something was obviously going on out on the plain where the reindeer herd now no longer grazed. The crowd of people had moved and now stood chanting on the empty field, once again grouped around something. Puffs of smoke emerged from the middle of the circle and dissolved into the blue sky. Padfoot started walking, wobbling towards them, listening and sniffing the air for information. When he heard a violent snarl that sounded too familiar to be good news, he started to run, panic spreading through him as he approached the gathering of people. Squeezing through between legs covered in leather and fur boots, he made it through to the middle and let out a bark.

Remus was tied to a wooden rack by narrow straps of leather, a big cape of fur draped over his shoulders and a necklace with teeth hanging from his neck. He was awake, his eyes livid with a madness Sirius had never ever seen in the other man – not in the man, in any case. He was positively roaring, his voice past anger or fury, resembling the cry of a beast rather than that of a human being. Sirius met the gaze of the tied creature and he recognized the wolf staring back at him through Remus's human eyes. He struggled against the ropes that held him and the construction was shaking under his assault.

In front of him a person was beating a drum. Sirius couldn't make out who the person was, whether it was the chief woman or someone else, as they were covered in furs and feathers from head to toe. It appeared to be a ceremonial garment and Sirius thought he recognized Syrnilus feathers among its parts. While he wasn't exactly an expert with magical creatures or potions, he knew that Syrnilus feathers were not just ornamental and pretty. They were used for a number of advanced potions that had a stimulating effect on the mind. Some Seers used them to gain easier access to realms beyond, legally or illegally, but the feathers were a tricky substance that could easily drive people mad. In Britain, their import was controlled and their use restricted to special, Ministry-supervised projects and only a handful of individuals. Syrnilus salt, whatever that was, was completely forbidden and the price one had to pay for getting caught with it was too high for most to risk paying.

Syrnilus feathers on a ceremonial suit were not a good sign.

Remus – or the wolf – screamed again, and the drumming person stood up, never breaking the rhythm. The chanting grew louder and rang in Sirius's ears. He couldn't make out the words, but it sounded to him like the bubbling of blood out of a wound, a jumble of vowels and consonants in disarray.

Someone stepped out from the crowd.

“ _Kam_ ,” someone behind Padfoot began to mumble and others joined in.

It was only when he saw the flash of a knife in the sun that Sirius snapped out of his confusion about what the word could mean. Barking loudly, he jumped ahead, putting himself between the knife-bearer and Remus, who still growled and snarled like a lunatic.

When Padfoot wouldn't move away, no matter how hard he tried to shoo him off, the man turned to grab one of the torches from his fellow chanters. No dog liked fire in its face.

Barking and baring his teeth wildly, Sirius eyed the flame as it came closer and closer.

One moment of surprise was all he had. Rising up on two legs as he transformed back, Sirius grabbed the torch with one hand and blindly swung it at the other man, who stumbled backwards looking horrified. The knife dropped to the ground and Sirius had a second to dive for it and hack apart one of the leather strings that bound Remus to the wooden rack.

Ripping one of his arms free, the wolf began to tear at the rest of the strings, snapping and snarling at everyone who looked like they were trying to get close.

Few did, Sirius noticed. Most of the people seemed to stare in shock and wonder – at him, or Remus, or the drumming figure that had begun to sway as if they were going to take flight any moment. The figure became taller, bigger, more menacing, and it seemed to grow closer to Remus, who had freed himself but for one last leather strap.

Slicing at the leather with the knife in his hand, Sirius thought he could hear it tear and rip and he suddenly became aware of standing not in front of Remus, but of the wolf. Even in an untransformed state he recognized the animal glitter in Remus's eyes and a new kind of fear was starting to crawl up his spine.

Remus held his gaze for a moment, baring his teeth at the sight of the knife in Sirius's hand. Sirius let it drop to the ground and took a step back. Remus's attention was back on the drumming figure and he seemed to cower in front of it for a second before uttering another skull-breaking scream and, to Sirius's utter surprise, retreating and running off. The crowd parted when the raging creature came through and ran with astonishing speed across the plain towards the mountains.

Sirius looked back at the drummer, whom he now recognized as the chief woman. Her eyes were dazed, and a strange fire was burning in them as she stared after Remus, absent-mindedly drumming the never-changing rhythm and chanting almost inaudibly low words. Sirius could feel a force emanating from her; dark clouds that shrouded his mind and seemed to drag him to the ground. He looked at Remus in the distance, still running but looking like he was being torn back by a string, stumbling and struggling to get away.

Gathering his last wits and transforming back into the big, black dog, Sirius didn't take time to consider before he jumped at her and pushed her to the ground. He heard the outcry among the onlookers and expected to be kicked or hit any moment, but he figured it was worth it if he managed to stop the drumming, stop the pounding in his head, the pounding that seemed to beat the life out of him.

Sinking his teeth into the drum, he ripped it from the woman's grasp, tearing it from the strings that bound it to her belt, and blindly ran off with it. He set after Remus, who was visible in the distance and made his way up into the mountains with surprising speed. He didn't move like the man he was, he moved like the wolf inside him.

Sirius figured that he would never catch up with him at this rate. It felt like he was running through a blizzard, even though the weather was as clear and bright as before. The clouds, the storm and the thunder were in his head, he understood. Struggling onwards, he let the drum drop into the grass eventually, sprinting faster and with greater force. His eyes were focused on Remus ahead between the rocks, but his mind was still on the danger behind them. Stretching his body and legs, he leaped on.

He didn't know for how long he simply ran. He never looked back, even when the pressure in his head began to cease and he began to feel like he could think straight again. He didn't know how far behind the village was by the time he reached the top of the first properly steep slope. The top of the mountain was flat and he could see Remus ahead, having made his way almost across half of the plateau.

Jumping on, Sirius wondered whether Remus was ever going to slow down. He knew that it was the wolf that was driving his friend, but after racing up the first mountain slopes, Sirius was beginning to feel the pain in his paws and legs, and it became harder and harder for him to keep up and not fall any further behind.

He let out a couple of barks as he ran, hoping that they would attract the wolf's attention and cause him to slow down. Sirius was painfully aware of the fact that losing Remus was not an option. Neither of them would make it out of the Siberian mountains on their own. Not that the odds were all that much better for them as a team, but at least there _was_ a realistic chance of getting out of this alive if they worked together.

His heart sank when Remus had reached the end of the plateau and suddenly vanished from sight. It took Sirius a couple of minutes to reach the end himself and he panted as he came to a halt and looked down the slope on the other side of the mountain. His legs were shaking and he wasn't sure just how long he could continue in this way.

Before him the mountainside led down into a valley. Many valleys. The mountain range they had seen on the horizon before seemed to be a number of plateaus exactly like the one he just crossed, divided and fragmented by narrow valleys and water creeks and steep slopes with the occasional deadly looking rocky patch.

Among all these things, Remus had disappeared completely from sight. Sirius scanned the slope below for any signs of his friend. There weren't any trees or plants to speak of, how hard could it be...? He sniffed around a bit, but couldn't find a trail among all the strange, unknown scents that flooded his mind.

It was as if Remus had been swallowed up by the landscape. There was no movement, no sound, no traces. Standing on top of the slope, Sirius paced, looking for a clue, for a glimpse of Remus. It seemed like the valley was staring back at him.

He let out a couple of barks and even managed a howl. There was no response.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he pressed out as he transformed back into his human self. Running his hand through his hair, he frantically gnawed at his lower lip, trying to think of something. Almost desperately he pulled out his wand. Placing it on his flat palm, he took a breath.

“Reperiam!” he murmured, picturing Remus with all the determination he could muster. Nothing happened and he fought back the lump of hysteria that was starting to gather in his throat.

“ _Reperiam!_ ” he repeated, with more force this time, focusing all the energy he had on Remus as he had seen him not half an hour ago, running.

A soft buzz rang through the wand and Sirius dared hardly believe his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he tried again, calling images of the wolf alongside with images of Remus into his mind.

“ _REPERIAM!_ For fuck's sake, show me where Remus is!” he pressed out and the wand began to turn, not unlike the needle of a compass. Coming to a halt, the wand pointed down the slope and to the right, towards a small lake at the bottom of the valley. Sirius had only time to shove his wand back into his pocket before he transformed back into Padfoot and more or less threw himself headfirst down the mountain.

Heading towards where the wand had pointed, he tried to pick up any scent that could give him a hint of whether he was still on track. It was little things like sliding tracks and trampled moss that kept his hopes up. Technically, they could have been made by anyone, but it had to be Remus. It just had to be.

Passing through a group of rocks that seemed to have come down in form of a ravine at some point, Sirius suddenly caught two strong, prominent scents. One was of something he had never encountered before, the other one was of the wolf. Driven on, he leaped over a smaller rock and squeezed through a narrow passage between two bigger lumps of stone.

Something heavy suddenly landed on his back. Pain shot through his body and he could feel something sharp piercing his skin and muscles in a number of places at once. Letting out a yelp, he tried to shake off whatever was clinging to his back. Standing up on his hind legs, Sirius threw himself backwards against one of the higher pieces of rocks and he could feel how the creature was starting to pull back its claws. When he gave it another – and as he hoped, final – shake, however, the next thing he knew he was tumbling down the slope with the beast that seemed to be all fangs and claws and blue-green fur.

Struggling to all fours, he looked into the white eyes of a giant cat, about the size of a leopard, but a little stockier, with bigger paws and a broader face. Its fangs were also a fair deal bigger than a leopard's and flashed in the light like razors. Sirius took a couple of steps back when the animal advanced again, with deadly slowness and precision.

He growled and tried to gather his strength for a counter-attack, but all the running he'd been doing had drained his energy considerably. He had the discomforting feeling that the other creature knew this very well.

Suddenly something seemed to drag the big cat back by its bushy tail and it turned around with incredible speed, hissing in rage.

The roaring howl of a werewolf answered. Remus was still in his human form, but he stood with his back crouched and his shoulders pulled up. His hands were dirty and the skin torn. His eyes were yellow and red-rimmed. It was the wolf, all right.

The cat hissed at him again but one more snarl from the wolf had it dash off with the same speed with which it had attacked. Fleeing up the mountain it disappeared as quickly as it had shown up.

Stepping up to the wolf, Padfoot let out a quiet bark, but Remus stumbled backwards, gripping his head with both hands. Agony was written all over his face. Panting hard and whimpering he turned and set off again, jumping and sliding down the slope. Unable to run any longer, Sirius transformed back into his human form and grabbed his wand, praying it would help.

He sent a Stunning spell after Remus and watched as the pathetically faint red light hit the werewolf in the back. It did not take him down, Sirius realized, but Remus's movements seemed to be getting slower and more laboured. The spell, while not at its full force, had had some effect, at least.

Setting after his friend, Padfoot tried to suppress the pain in his back and feet. Remus wasn't as far away as before and he was visibly struggling to get on now. He was about to catch up with him when Remus seemed to have met a dead end where a rock suddenly ended in a kind of cliff. Remus looked down for a moment, then turned around to face the black dog. His eyes were bloodshot and tired and he seemed to sink into himself.

Slowly, Padfoot stepped closer, sniffing tentatively for anything strange about the man. A surprised bark escaped him when Remus suddenly keeled over and fell into nothingness.

It took Sirius about two seconds to transform back and hasten to the cliff, looking down with terror throbbing in his every fibre. Down below he could see Remus sprawled out on the ground, unconscious. It wasn't deep, maybe five or six feet, but high enough to break one's neck.

Hurrying down, he knelt by Remus's side and hurled every Healing spell that came to his mind at the man. He didn't care whether or not anything was actually broken; better safe than sorry. He cast every spell twice, in case once wasn't enough. His spells were still so much weaker than usual, even weaker than they had been on the mountaintop.

“Remus, for fuck's sake, don't do this to me,” he cursed under his breath, trying to get some kind of reaction out of the limp body. “Not here, not now... come on, do something...”

It was only when he was sure that Remus was breathing evenly and his heart was beating rhythmically, if a bit fast, that he sat back on his heels and gathered his wits, allowing for rational thinking to kick in.

Looking around he realized that they were in front of a cave – its entrance was the reason why the slope above had ended in a cliff so abruptly. A gaping black hole in the side of the mountain was glaring at him and he swallowed. The list of dangerous things that could possibly be lurking in the darkness of this cave was too long to go through, and Sirius realized that as long as he didn't know what was in there, he couldn't really let Remus stay passed out. Nor could he just sit down and have a bit of a breather himself.

Rubbing his forehead, he tried to figure out the best option.

He could wake up Remus and they could move on to somewhere safer. That was probably the worst option, since he couldn't predict in what state of mind Remus would wake up. If he woke up at all. There was also no way of saying where exactly this 'somewhere safer' was supposed to be.

Not waking him up and carrying him instead was only marginally better an idea, if not a worse one. Sirius was tired and his muscles sore and if anything at all happened, like the crazy cat attacking again, he'd be in no state of defending either of them. If he didn't just break his neck on the way down the mountain. And again, it wasn't like he had any guarantee that he'd find a better place to take a break at any time soon. Siberia was big. Too big to cross on foot without taking at least one break.

The cave offered a certain amount of shelter and unless there was any actual danger inside, Sirius considered it the best option to stay, get some rest, regain some strength. When Remus woke up they could still decide how to proceed. At least they'd have two brains, two pairs of eyes, two pairs of hands, two wands. There was a reason Dumbledore hardly ever sent people out on their own – it was easier to survive in pairs. And Remus had considerably more experience with field trips than Sirius.

Getting to his feet Sirius decided that he was going to explore the cave and find out whether it was safe enough for them to stay in for a while. He could do this alone; Remus would hardly be any help if he'd just woken up from unconsciousness. Besides, Sirius still didn't know just what exactly had happened to him. This was something he would think about later.

For now, he fumbled in Remus's pockets and eventually drew out the handkerchief-sized Invisibility Cloak. It was still there and still shrunk. Pointing his wand at it, Sirius prayed that the spell would work.

“Engorgio!” he muttered and the cloak remained unchanged for a moment before it reluctantly began to grow, slowly reaching its original size again. With a sigh of relief, Sirius spread it across Remus's sleeping form and marked his location with a handful of pebbles.

“Lumos!” he muttered as he turned to approach the cave. The light at the tip of his wand was paler than usual, but it worked. That was all that counted, he told himself as he stepped into the darkness.

Once he was inside, he noticed that while the cave had looked big and dark from the outside, it wasn't actually that deep. It went about twenty feet into the mountain and was some six or seven feet wide at most. Towards the back the ceiling became lower and lower and it was actually impossible to reach the backmost wall without crawling. The floor was relatively even, sloping down just a little at the entrance before rising up again. Some water had gathered at the lowest point in the middle.

Apart from the occasional patch of moss, a bunch of smaller rocks and stones and some dirt, the cave seemed to be completely empty. To his utter surprise, no giant cat awaited him with gleaming eyes. Well, that was a plus.

Running his free hand along the walls, Sirius looked for anything suspicious, like holes in the stone in which poisonous spiders and birds could lurk. Or evil snakes. Sirius refused to sleep in a cave that was home to a snake. Or perhaps even more than one.

Making his way to the back of the cave he eventually crouched down and narrowed his eyes, trying to see into the dark corners he could not reach. He extended his wand and could see a great deal of moss gathered in what seemed to be a hole in the floor. Rocks were sticking out of the moss and Sirius prodded the plants and the stones with his wand to see if anything was hiding in it.

When he saw a crude face stare back at him, he gave a jump and hit his head on the low stone ceiling.

Looking around frantically, he noticed that whatever he had seen had not come out to attack him, so he crouched down again to make sure his eyes hadn't deceived him, after all. It had been a long day.

The face was still there when the light at the tip of his wand fell on it, still staring, still unmistakably a face. It didn't move at all, even when he poked it.

Slowly, Sirius began to realize that the stones that were sticking out of the moss all bore little faces. Plump faces with big noses and closed eyes. They were of various sizes, some of them bigger, about a foot tall, others smaller, reaching only a couple of inches. They sat in the moss, clutching their plump legs, only the smallest one was rolled up, lying on its side. They looked like odd statues of a little family.

Something about them struck Sirius as vaguely familiar and it took him a moment to recognize the round, knobbly ears and pouty lips.

“Trolls,” he whispered to himself. “Arctic trolls. Right. Turn to stone by day and only come out during the night...”

Sitting back, he ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. He couldn't remember whether Arctic trolls were dangerous when they awoke, he had never bothered reading the text below the picture in his book on Magical Creatures. In England, Arctic trolls were more of a side note – or rather footnote – compared to their more immediately relevant British relatives, who were a fair deal bigger.

Deciding that no danger was to be feared by them for the time being, Sirius got up and prepared to set up camp for Remus and himself. His mind was made up, there was no way he would continue to run around the mountainside.

He placed three small, flickering magical flames around the cave to lighten and warm it up enough to make it kind of comfortable. The spell he used was of a low order and the amount of actual heat the flames gave off was accordingly small, but at least they didn't need wood or give off any smoke that could have betrayed their location.

When he had found Remus under the Cloak outside, he carefully grabbed the fur cape he was lying on after landing on his back and dragged him into the cave. After a moment of consideration, he placed the Invisibility Cloak over his sleeping form again, having made sure he was still breathing well and really just asleep.

Looking around the cave, he transformed back into Padfoot. Staying awake was easier in dog form, since it cost him less energy. Lapping some water from the puddle in the middle of the cave, he sniffed around for a bit, trying to find something to occupy his mind with. Eventually, he sat down near the entrance to the cave and looked out into the mountainside, determined to keep an eye out for approaching dangers.


	5. Chapter 5

Remus opened his eyes when he felt that something was covering his face. Blinking, his vision came into focus and he realized it was James's Invisibility Cloak.

Sitting up and pulling the fabric off himself, Remus looked around and was confused enough to find himself lying in a cave. A lit up cave in which three magical flames were flickering relentlessly. It took him a moment to realize why that seemed especially odd.

Spotting Padfoot at the entrance of the cave, Remus figured – or hoped – that it must have been Sirius to cast the flames and reverse the Shrinking spell on the Cloak. Which meant that magic must have returned somehow. He grabbed his wand.

The first thing he could think of was the burning thirst in his throat and he directed his wand at the almost empty water hole next to where he'd been sleeping.

“Aguamenti!”

It did not escape Remus that the trickling of water from the tip of his wand was nowhere near as forceful as it should have been, but he didn't complain. To a thirsty man, it was better than nothing.

Crouching down on all fours and leaning over the water as he drank, his thirst slowly retreated and gave way to a numb pounding in the back of his head and clearer memories of what had happened over the last so many hours. Gasping for breath, Remus eventually sat back and wiped his mouth and chin before he took off the necklace that was still around his neck and had been dangling into his face as he had drunk. He looked at it as it lay in the palm of his hand, the tooth pendants polished and shining in the magical light of the cave. There was blood on some of them.

A sudden urge to cry overcame him and he fought it back with all the determination he could muster up. He let the necklace disappear into the depth of his robes and told himself to get a grip. He had sworn to himself never to cry again because of this.

Then again, it had never been just like this before, right?

Listening into himself, Remus heard nothing but his own heartbeat. Buried deep within, like down at the bottom of a well, the wolf slumbered for another month. Right now, everything was calm in the aftermath, as it always was and would be until the full moon roused the wolf again. It would return, raging and tearing at Remus from the inside and outside; there would be pain. There always was pain, followed by oblivion. And quiet. The tending to physical wounds brought back slight pain for a short while, but apart from that, everything was quiet.

Except this time, when oblivion had never come. The pain hadn't ever ceased, the monster never truly emerged and taken over.

Remus hated the wolf. He fought it every month when it raised its head inside of him and tried to gain control. It was always a struggle, and Remus fought it even though he knew that he was bound to lose in the end. He would try to keep the demon at bay with all his might until every last bit of Remus was defeated and he would drift off into unconsciousness, the wolf bursting out. For Remus, the mental pain ended when the transformation was complete, when there was nothing left of his conscious human mind. He only had to endure the physical results of this monthly struggle afterwards.

He couldn't help smirking at the irony. Ever since he'd been bitten, he'd hoped that there could be a cure. Something to keep the wolf in, keep the moon from rising... and now that the moon had indeed not risen and the wolf had remained fettered, it seemed to belittle any agony or misery about his condition he had felt up to that point.

Remus shook his head and told himself to snap out of it. There were other things to think of when he was stranded in Siberia than his issues of sensitivity and the bittersweet irony of life. That had been done before. Right now he could just as well be glad that his body wasn't torn to shreds, but had survived the full moon relatively unharmed for the first time in over ten years. He had a couple of scratches here and there, but they were a result of climbing about in the mountains and shallow enough not to hurt.

Getting up, he decided to have a look at Padfoot, who hadn't moved at all. When Remus stepped closer, he saw that the dog was asleep, properly asleep. Not just dozing as he liked to do, but actually passed out, lying on his side, his four legs outstretched and unmoving. His chest was heaving every now and then and he seemed oblivious to his surroundings, even when Remus softly, albeit shakily levitated him off the ground. Taking off and spreading his fur coat out on the ground neatly, he set down the sleeping Animagus onto it, smiling when Padfoot let out a soft whimper, but didn't wake up.

Remus contemplated his friend quietly, sitting down on the ground next to him. Padfoot looked exhausted, and parts of his back and one of his hind paws were a little bloody, either from the wild animal's attack earlier or from running up a freaking mountain after a raving lunatic.

Trying his best to cast a subtle and easy Healing spell at the small cut, Remus pointed his wand at the dog's paw. The light that came from the tip of his wand was very faint and it took Remus another try in order to close the cut completely. Unfortunately, when he continued to cast some more spells to heal the remaining wounds on his back, he also woke up Padfoot in the process.

Jumping to his feet, the dog turned around in circles for a moment, his eyes eventually fixing on Remus. A moment later, Sirius was kneeling on the fur coat, eyes wide.

“You're awake!” he blurted out and Remus nodded.

“Yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up,” he apologized and Sirius shook his head.

“No, I wasn't supposed to sleep. I was going to stand guard in case the trolls woke up... I'm sorry, I figured I couldn't really carry you anywhere and therefore I decided to stay, even if there was potential danger...”

“Trolls?” Remus interrupted, raising an eyebrow in confusion and Sirius nodded, pointing at the back corner of the cave.

“Arctic trolls. Y'know, the small ones...”

Frowning and raising his wand, Remus got on all fours and crept closer to the indicated corner to inspect it. Crouching down next to him, Sirius rambled on. “I wasn't sure whether they're dangerous. I only remembered them from the book back at school, that they come out by night and I thought I might keep an eye out for them, just in case...”

His wand aglow in the small corner, flashing light on the group of stone trolls, Remus looked at Sirius, a speechless look of confusion and amusement on his face. Sirius blushed.

“What? I didn't know, alright? I never read the bits that weren't going to be in the exams...”

“Sirius,” Remus interrupted, a chuckle in his voice. “Sirius, how often has it got dark here so far?”

For a moment it was quiet and Remus bit his lip to suppress a giggle when Sirius's expression fell to utter sheepishness.

“I’m such an idiot,” he stated, glaring at Remus. “Such a stupid fucking idiot.” Burying his face in his hands, he shook his head. Before Remus could say anything, he'd already got up and turned away, utterly shamefaced.

“Hey,” Remus interjected, still smiling. He grabbed a bit of Sirius's robe and held him back. Getting to his feet himself, he put his hand on Sirius's shoulder. “It's okay. You're hardly an idiot for considering danger.”

“Yeah, but I am definitely an idiot for not having realized that the sun hasn't set for the last four thousand hours or so,” Sirius groaned and knocked his forehead against the cave wall. “This place is driving me nuts.”

“You were tired!” Remus retorted. “You can't blame yourself for not thinking of something like that after running after me for hours and hours and then taking care of me. Sirius...” He turned the other man's face towards his own and looked him straight in the eye. Still looking fairly embarrassed, Sirius sighed and nodded.

“Fair enough. I guess I was tired... I was also afraid one of those weird cats would come back and eat us after all...”

“Weird cat?” Remus frowned and paused. “You mean the Coydiary?”

“The what?” Sirius grimaced and amusement was sneaking its way back into Remus's expression.

“The Coydiary. We covered them in class, you know... Tundra lion, Sirius?”

“Right,” Sirius nodded confusedly. “Well, those would have caused trouble, you gotta admit.”

Remus bit his lip, a sorry grin on his face. “You know, they're kinda... afraid of humans. I doubt they'd have as much as approached-”

“OH, SHUT UP, WILL YOU?” Sirius cried and slapped away Remus's hand on his shoulder. “What did you do, blow a librarian?”

“More than blow, actually.” Laughing, Remus dodged Sirius's smack of frustration and dove away, backing off towards the cave entrance. Snorting and shaking his head in disbelief, Sirius followed.

They stood together at the mouth of the cave for a moment and looked out into the mountains, when both their stomachs started to growl.

“Uhm, Sirius... what do we eat?” Remus asked and Sirius bit his lip, looking a bit lost.

“I dunno. Can you eat Coy-whatever-diaries?”

“I sincerely doubt it,” Remus chuckled. “Even if we actually managed to catch one, are you gonna skin it and gut it and roast it and all? I'm not sure there's a spell for all that...”

“Ugh, true,” Sirius admitted. “Even if there was, we probably wouldn't be able to use it. Only the really simple spells work. And not all that well, either.”

Nodding sombrely, Remus threw Sirius a sideways glance and cleared his throat. “You know, when I fell off that rock...”

“You didn't fall deep,” Sirius replied, returning the look. “I did my best to fix you, but it's hard to tell just how much it worked. I couldn't even tell how much you even needed fixing.”

“Still,” Remus smiled. “Thanks for that. And for the rest. Getting me out of there and running after me and... you know. Thanks.”

It hadn't escaped Sirius that Remus had a hard time coping with what happened. His eyes were still slightly red, now that he saw them in the daylight, and his face looked a little haggard.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked and Remus shook his head.

“No. Not really, no.” Taking a deep breath, he added. “At least not now, okay?”

“Fair enough. Then I'd suggest we find something to eat and then figure out how we're gonna get out of those mountains and, eventually, out of freaking Siberia...”

*

“Are you sure this is edible?”

Remus didn't sound convinced – and neither did Sirius when he replied, for that matter.

“They did boil this stuff at the village,” he shrugged. “I saw them make some kind of stew out of it, when I ran about with the other dogs for a bit. At least it's something, right?”

“It's moss,” Remus pointed out and Sirius looked at the armful of weed and dirt he was holding. It didn't look particularly appetizing, no. He had to give Remus that. But he was hungry. Really, _really_ hungry.

“We'll just try this, alright?” he suggested and put the moss down on the floor next to the small water basin in the middle. Pointing his wand at the hole in the ground, he filled it up with water and began to wash the moss. Remus watched him for a moment, until his own grumbling stomach convinced him that it was worth a try. He turned to find a random rock that he could try and transfigure into something similar to a bowl or kettle.

“It will do,” Sirius remarked when Remus had cursed sufficiently over the crude, vaguely bowl-shaped rock formation he had created. Transfiguration had been one of the subjects he'd rather liked and been good at, but this was pulling his last nerve.

Ignoring Remus's exasperation, Sirius threw the washed moss into the bowl and told Remus to add some water to it.

“It'll be like soup, I'm sure,” he mumbled while they set to building some kind of simple stove, so they could rest the bowl on something and light a fire under it. It turned out harder than they'd thought.

“At this rate it's gonna take hours,” Remus remarked when he saw the small, dancing flame under the rather thick stone pot. “This flame isn't exactly hot, is it?”

“No, it's not,” Sirius admitted, looking miserable. He poked the flame a little with his wand, but nothing in particular changed. “But all the other spells aren't working. Any suggestions?”

“Not really, no,” Remus sighed and dropped himself to the ground, biting his lip and looking rather unenthusiastic. When Sirius flopped down onto the fur right next to him, also staring at the pitiful flame, Remus rested his head on Sirius's shoulder.

“I'm starving,” he whined and Sirius gave him a playful shove.

“Shut up. What are you, five? You're worse than James.”

“Not quite yet,” Remus chuckled and they both heaved a sigh. “But soon.”

*

“It's been hours!” Sirius exclaimed and Remus snapped out of his dozy state, blinking. Sirius had got up and was pacing about the cave, continuously shooting dark looks at the weakening flame and the soup that had begun to look more like a bog in a pot than anything else. “I pronounce this done!”

Taking the stone bowl off the fire and pouring half of its contents into the other bowl that he'd created in his boredom, he offered one to Remus, who eyed it warily.

“Swamp soup. Yummy,” he muttered, but started eating anyway. He was far too starved to be picky about his food. The soup was warm enough, if not really hot, and that alone made up for its slightly peculiar taste.

Chewing on what was left of the moss, Remus shot a glance at Sirius, who was gobbling down the contents of his bowl with a vacant expression. He had successfully fished out most of the moss already and was now sipping the soup from his bowl.

“What are you telling yourself that this is?” Remus asked, amused, and Sirius shrugged.

“Anything, really. Pumpkin soup and roast beef, perhaps.”

“Interesting combination.”

Sirius smirked. “Well, it accounts for the taste... a little.”

Chuckling, Remus continued to eat his own soup, while Sirius finished his and put the stone bowl down. Sighing contently, he rubbed his stomach and lay back on the fur.

“This was good. Even if it sounds like a bizarre thing to say.”

“No, I get what you mean,” Remus nodded. Looking up, Sirius smiled. Rubbing his eyes, he stared at the ceiling of the cave a little, while Remus ate up. Eventually, he sat up again and bit his lip pensively.

“So, what do you think we should do now? I mean generally.”

“You mean about the whole 'being trapped in the mountains in Siberia' thing?” When Sirius nodded, Remus shrugged, looking out of the cave. “I dunno. I guess we'll have to get moving at some point. This cave is nice and all, but I don't really see any point in staying.”

“So where do we go?” Sirius asked and followed suit when Remus got up to walk up to the mouth of the cave.

“I suggest we continue into the mountains,” Remus eventually said. “I mean... we know what's behind us, right? I have to admit, I'm not entirely keen on going back...”

“Agreed,” Sirius nodded. “Also, going through the mountains means going south. I'd like to think that we're walking somewhere warmer than here...”

“Well,” Remus chuckled. “I'm not sure just how much difference that makes in Siberia, but alright. If it helps you in any way.” Stifling a yawn, he made a gesture about the scenery. “Any particular suggestions as to where exactly we should walk?”

Sirius looked a little nonplussed for a moment as he scanned the landscape. Eventually he began to think out loud.

“The river over there,” he pointed out, “is the same river we went on with the boat, right?”

“I'd say so,” Remus agreed and Sirius nodded, lost in thought.

“Say, if we followed the river... do you think it'd be easier than, you know, climbing over every single mountain we come across? Shorter? If the river cuts through the mountain range somehow, that could save us a lot of time...”

“And provide us with some sense of orientation, too,” Remus added, pondering the suggestion. “Problem is just, what if it leads us somewhere really obscure? It flows north, towards the sea, so we're actually following it to its origin and that might be Merlin knows where...”

For a moment both men were quiet, thinking and evaluating their options. Sirius took the two-way mirror out of his pocket again and gave it a little shake. When it didn't make any difference, he poked it with his wand, but to no avail.

“I think we can rule out the possibility of help from home,” he sighed. “I was hoping it might work up here, since we can do easy spells again, but...” Trailing off he put the mirror back into his pocket and began chewing his lip. “I guess that'd be another reason not to walk by the river – we won't be able to use magic. As far as I can tell it's the altitude that makes the difference; it worked better up at the plateau than it does here, and it didn't work at all down in the plain. Plus, it's gonna be hard to keep an eye on all our surroundings from down there...”

“I still think...” Remus slowly replied, “...that the river is probably not that bad an option. You're right, crossing one mountain after the other is going to take forever and we'd still have to descend into the valleys in between them. If we try to make some kind of compromise...”

Sirius raised an eyebrow and his voice was dry.

“Like what? We follow the river, but stay in the mountains?”

“Well, we could _roughly_ follow it,” Remus reasoned, beginning to pace. “And walk wherever it looks easiest. Wherever we'd get ahead the fastest or safest and not be quite too exposed. Just high enough to still have a proper view. I reckon that when we want to sleep, we'll have to find somewhere relatively sheltered, anyway...”

“Like another troll cave?” Sirius suggested and Remus shrugged.

“Well, better a cave with hibernating trolls than a cave of Coydiaries, right?”

“Touché,” Sirius muttered and cocked his head, nodding slowly. “Okay, know what, I think your plan's as good as any. We should try it. If it doesn't work we can always figure out something else.”

“Uhm, alright,” Remus nodded. He didn't look exactly confident, but Sirius smiled encouragingly. It was a plan, and that alone was already worth a lot.

“So, do we start right now?” Sirius asked, looking around the cave. “Or should we get some more rest and the leave afterwards?”

“I dunno. Are you tired?” Remus asked and Sirius shrugged slightly.

“Well... I did sleep, so it's not like I'm gonna fall over...” He looked a bit embarrassed. “But, you know, the sleep I get as a dog isn't the same kind of rest...”

He fell quiet and Remus nodded. “I guess we can have a nap before we leave. I reckon I might like that, too. My head hurts somehow... blame the moon...”

Smiling at each other with a hint of relief, the two men sat down on the big fur and began sorting out their sleeping positions, pulling their cloaks tightly around themselves. They considered the Invisibility Cloak for a moment, but then discarded the idea since it wasn't quite big enough to cover both of them completely. It was only going to be a quick nap, anyway.

“Are you cold?” Remus mumbled when he saw Sirius shudder next to him. Sirius grimaced.

“Uh... a bit. I get kinda cold without a blanket, especially in this climate. I guess that makes me a lousy field man, right?” He pressed out a quiet laugh and Remus chuckled, shuffling closer to his friend and wrapping an arm around him. Groaning comfortably, Sirius let himself be pulled close and snuggled his back against Remus.

“Thanks,” he murmured and Remus smiled.

“It's alright,” he replied. “We'll make a proper field man of you yet. This is rule number one.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Sirius, wake up! Someone's coming!” Remus nudged him urgently and Sirius gave a jerk as he snapped back to consciousness. Remus had already got to his feet and was slowly approaching the mouth of the cave, peeking out. Throwing the Invisibility Cloak over himself, he disappeared for a moment to have a proper look and then came back into vision as he hastily pulled it off.

“Death Eaters. Three of them. Shit.” Looking around the cave, he quickly extinguished the magical flames that were flickering in the corners and scattered their stone construction that had served as a stove, while Sirius hurriedly grabbed the wolf fur they had slept on and shrank it with a whispered Reducio.

Listening, they could hear voices approaching and realized that the newcomers were already too close for them to risk leaving the cave, even under the Invisibility Cloak. Two adult men had to move slowly and carefully in order for the Cloak to cover both of them completely, and the chances that one of them took a wrong step or tread loose a pebble that would betray them were too high.

Suppressing a curse, Sirius slammed Remus against the stone wall in a back corner of the cave and pressed himself tightly against him, spreading the Cloak over them and making sure none of their feet showed. The solution was everything but ideal, Sirius realized, but they could already see shadows at the entrance of the cave, dark against the everlasting daylight outside, their masks looking like naked skulls under their hoods.

Three Death Eaters, masked and cloaked, stood in the light and Remus tried to convince himself that they were not staring directly at him. It certainly felt like it and he hoped that the Cloak was still working as it used to. Sirius was pressed flush against him, facing the wall and breathing at his neck, trying not to lose balance. Slowly, as to not ruffle the Cloak, Remus wrapped an arm around his waist, steadying him a little. He thought he could hear a sigh of relief in Sirius's quiet breathing.

One by one the Death Eaters stepped forward into the cave, lights at the ends of their wands. They looked around the walls and the floor, one of them advancing to the back and glancing into the more hidden corners.

“She assured us that magic had been done here,” one of them said and from the slight accent in his familiar voice Remus could tell it was Dolohov. He listened intently, not really doubting whom he was referring to when he said 'she'. “I haven't seen another cave here that she could've talked about. Do you think she was lying?”

“Magic was done here,” another Death Eater retorted, carefully examining the floor. The light at the end of his wand had died, it was now buzzing with the same spell that Sirius had used to detect magic in the shack on Chelyuskov's grounds. It seemed like a long time ago.

“The question is,” Dolohov replied impatiently. “ _When_. There is nothing here now.” He gestured around the place and Remus bit down on his lip hard when Dolohov's hand was less than a centimetre away from the Cloak that covered his face and the back of Sirius's head.

“Maybe it's a Disillusionment charm,” the third Death Eater, whose voice Remus didn't recognize, but whose Slavic accent was more pronounced than Dolohov's. “We can find out...”

He was raising his wand, when the second Death Eater put his hand on his arm to stop him.

“Nobody could have performed a Disillusionment charm here, Karkaroff. They're of too high an order, in case you have forgotten.”

Remus didn't dare release his held breath and he could tell Sirius felt the same. Both their bodies were tense and even swallowing rang loudly in their own ears.

“Lucius is right,” Dolohov interjected. “They couldn't have done it in this damned place. I ask myself why the Dark Lord is even interested in these... primitives and their hocus pocus. They are as usele-”

“It is not your place to question the Dark Lord's plans or instructions, Dolohov!” Malfoy cut him off with a sharp voice. “If the Dark Lord has a use for the shamans of these forsaken, backward lands, he is under no obligation to fill someone like you in on the details.”

Dolohov didn't reply, but turned away, not seeming too happy with being scolded like a schoolboy. Then his attention seemed to be caught by...

“Look at this!” he exclaimed and pointed his wand into the same crevice Sirius and Remus had pointed theirs a while ago. An evil cackle was audible in his voice. “You think they'd mind a bit of Crucio while they're asleep?”

Bending down to look at the stone trolls, Malfoy gave Dolohov a crude shove that tipped him over.

“I should like to see you try to even tickle them,” he snarled condescendingly. “You really are a useless, thoughtless oaf. An outright disgrace to pure-blood wizardry.” Turning away and scanning the cave once more, he strode towards the entrance. “Obviously, this cave is empty. While they must have been here at some point, they have obviously moved on.”

“So what are we supposed to do now?” the man called Karkaroff asked.

“Well, they must have gone somewhere,” Malfoy snapped, making a wide gesture at the mountains. “We will go back to that abominable woman and tell her that if she wants them, she can look for them herself. She's the one who can spot their magic, after all; I am servant to the Dark Lord and not to this deluded, half-crazy quack.”

With those words he stormed off, his cloak billowing behind him. A moment later the other two Death Eaters followed, their movements speaking volumes of just how much they were enjoying the company of Lucius Malfoy in the Siberian mountains. Remus thought he heard Dolohov mumble something about hissy fits before the two Death Eaters had left the cave and disappeared from sight.

Not daring to move, Remus felt Sirius turn his head to the side, breathing against Remus's jaw. Waiting. Neither of them spoke for another while until all sounds of the Death Eaters had died and it was completely quiet again.

“Well, that was interesting,” Sirius eventually whispered and Remus nodded slightly, swallowing the lump that had been sitting in his throat.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he replied and Sirius burst out a breathy laugh.

“Shit, but Dolohov got really close at some point, right? I thought I could feel the breeze of his movements...”

Nodding again, Remus chuckled, trying to find a way of releasing the tension inside of him. “You can say that again. Thank Merlin Lucius threw one of his pure-blood tantrums and distracted everyone...”

“I guess he's good for something,” Sirius grinned and shifted his body slightly. “Do you think they're gone?”

Listening for another moment, Remus nodded slowly. “I think they are. I can go and check...”

“Take the Cloak, they might be watching the mouth of the cave from somewhere,” Sirius mumbled and slipped away, out from under the Invisibility Cloak, leaving only Remus covered by it.

Crossing the cave and standing at its opening, Remus looked around, up and down the mountain and to all sides for any trace of the Death Eaters. For a moment he thought they had somehow disappeared, but then he spotted them as they emerged from behind a formation of rocks at the foot of the mountain. He also saw that they were heading towards a boat that lay ashore by the river Sirius had pointed out earlier. Climbing into the vessel, where one of the indigenous people awaited them, they set off and began to drift downstream, back to the village they had come from.

After another glance into all directions, Remus turned around and went back into the cave, tearing off the Cloak.

“They're gone. I can't see anything or anyone else, either.” Looking at Sirius, he shrugged. “I dunno about you, but I think we might want to get out of here quickly.”

“Agreed,” Sirius replied without hesitation and they looked around the cave for anything they might have dropped. Stowing the shrunken wolf fur away in his robes, Sirius pointed at the Invisibility Cloak. “You know, I think we better not shrink this again. There's no way of telling where we'll be when we might need it urgently...”

“I wasn't going to shrink it,” Remus shook his head, checking his own robes for a place to put the Cloak so that he could easily and quickly access it. A minute later he was done and nodded assuringly at Sirius. “Let's leave, then?”

*

They had decided to change their plans slightly and not walk directly towards the river, after all. Instead, they crossed onto the next mountain and from there made their way ahead to approach the river further in the south, a fair deal away from where the boat of the Death Eaters had lain.

To their immense joy they found a bunch of unfamiliar, but edible berries growing besides a couple of the many small mountain streams they crossed and passed on the way. The birds that had been eating them flew away in surprise when a big, black dog leaped at them and Sirius insisted that he and Remus take a break. After a rather short argument as to the possible danger of the berries being poisonous, they ate some of them and picked the remaining ones for dinner. Remembering the moss soup, Remus was quickly convinced that this was a splendid alternative indeed.

“Just wait, I'm gonna end up being the gourmet chef of the Arctic tundra when we get home. We'll never have to go on spaghetti for weeks and weeks again!” Sirius grinned when they walked on and Remus laughed, shaking his head at his friend's smugness.

“I can hardly wait until you pour lukewarm swamp soup into my mum's fancy china plates,” he replied and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“I'll be so good at preparing it by then, it'll be fit to be served at a candlelight dinner!” he proclaimed and Remus threw one of the berries he had collected at him, hitting him in the head. Sirius grabbed one of his own from his pocket and took aim, but when Remus looked very ready to dodge away, he reconsidered and simply shoved the berry into his mouth.

Laughing, they marched on and to his own surprise Remus realized that he wasn't actually having a particularly bad time. His head was clearing in the cool mountain air and his headache was almost gone. He could feel the moon waning somewhere below the horizon. He wasn't hungry, cold or tired, and the Death Eaters seemed like a faraway threat among the Siberian mountains. His own loss of magic, or at least temporary disability, felt less threatening now that he knew that while his wand wouldn't be much help in a fight, the possibility of being suddenly AKed out of the blue was equally gone.

He looked at Sirius, who seemed to be breathing deeply, his recently mostly pale cheeks flushed red with fresh air, the cool wind and physical exercise. When he saw Remus looking at him, he grinned defensively.

“What? What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” Remus smiled, shaking his head. “I just thought of how weird it feels to suddenly not run danger of having Killing curses hurled at you.”

“I know!” Sirius giggled. “Odd, huh? I almost miss it... where are those Coy-diary-thingies when you need them?”

Chuckling, they walked on, slowly making their way along the mountainside, not climbing to the actual top – that was as flat as the one of the mountain before – but staying on the more or less accessible slope and moving south, the river always visible in the valley down below.

Above them a wild Syrnilus let out its typical cry and they stopped and looked up to see the big bird soaring in the sky. A second one joined the first a moment later and they flew higher and higher until they could no longer be seen.

Looking at each other, both Remus and Sirius fought the giddiness in their throats.

“Merlin, we're stranded on a mission in Siberia,” Remus pressed out. “How bad is it that I'm all excited about seeing rare magical creatures in the wild?”

“I don't think it can be that bad,” Sirius chuckled, looking around. “I mean, it is pretty impressive, isn't it? In any case it makes more sense to be appreciative than panic-stricken.” Pausing for a moment, he eventually added. “At least seeing you enjoy yourself makes me feel a bit less bad for getting you into this.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Oh, come on. I think we're past this. Also, I daresay _I_ got us into this, since it was me who grabbed the Portkey.”

“Only after I'd got us both into a situation where you had no choice,” Sirius countered. “I... you know, I feel a bit like I bullied you into this mission and now you're stuck here. I mean, the moon... and that date you had...”

Snorting quietly, Remus shook his head. “There's no date. Don't worry about it.”

“What do you mean?” Sirius frowned and Remus chewed his lip as he stepped carefully on the rocks they were currently climbing over.

“The guy...” he began, sounding both embarrassed and bitter at the same time, “...turned out to just want to meet up so he could tell me that it wasn't gonna work out. When I told him I wouldn't be able to make it, he just ended it over the Floo.”

“Oh,” Sirius replied softly, stopping for a moment and considering Remus, who was stubbornly walking on. “I'm sorry. Was it... who was it, even? Anyone... special?” A weird feeling arose in his stomach when he realized that he didn't know at all who Remus was seeing these days.

Now it was Remus's turn to stop and turn around, contemplating his answer while Sirius caught up with him. Eventually he shook his head.

“No, not really. But that wasn't the point.”

They fell into pace next to each other and when Sirius didn't seem to be saying anything, Remus continued, his voice light in a way that sounded forced.

“It wasn't so much the guy. He was nice enough, but... It was more that... It was the fact that it was a second date.” He blushed. “You know, it's not like I just needed to get laid that badly...”

“I'd think so,” Sirius chuckled. “Of the four of us, you're the one who gets the most action by far.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Remus shrugged, not sounding very enthusiastic. “And I'm not complaining about the sex. What is beginning to annoy me is the fact that it's always only ever just that.”

“Aww, Moony, you'll find the right one sooner or later,” Sirius tried to comfort him, but Remus shook his head.

“Oh, I know. That's not my point. I'm not... I'm not looking to meet The One. I'd just kind of like to meet someone in the meantime who'll, you know, have me at least _twice_.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean,” Sirius mumbled, gently patting Remus's shoulder. “I'm sorry.”

“Well, it's not your fault, is it...” Remus sighed and grinned humourlessly. Then he seemed to give himself a smack and snapped out of his bitterness. “But hey, as long as I don't run out of guys to have first date shags with, I'll survive.”

Chuckling, Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“You know, I hate to be the one pointing this out, but...” He bit his lip and Remus shot him a quizzical glance. “Have you considered that the reason for all this might be that... you're just an incredibly bad fuck?”

For a moment it seemed to be completely quiet, even the chirping of birds and the sound of rushing water and the wind had died out.

“Sirius Black,” Remus finally said, voice level. “I swear, I should have fucked you after all, on one of the occasions where we got unspeakably drunk together. Just for good measure. To prevent you from coming up with _ludicrous phantasms_ like this!”

“Question is, would I still be wanting to speak to you if you had!” Sirius laughed and let out a squeal when Remus suddenly jumped at him, mock murder on his face. Running ahead to escape the smack he knew to be forthcoming, he could hear his friend laughing as he set after him.

For a while it looked like Sirius was doing a good job of always being just a bit too far ahead to get within Remus's reach, but when they approached yet another one of hundreds of small water streams that trickled down the mountain slope from somewhere above, the ground became rockier and more difficult to pass again. Sirius hesitated for just a second and that was all Remus needed.

Tackling him with full force, Remus struggled a bit to keep them both from keeling over and performing a hard landing on the rocks, but refused to let Sirius get away. Dealing him a good smack over the back of his head, he eventually figured himself avenged and let go of a half giggling, half out-of-breath Sirius.

“Don't... don't kill me...” Sirius panted and Remus cocked an eyebrow, as if contemplating an attractive suggestion. Holding his hands up, Sirius added. “You'll have no-one to cuddle with at night! Caves are cold!”

Remus didn't look very impressed. “I'm not usually cold. That's just you.”

“I'm the one who cooks!”

“I think I could manage bog-in-the-pot very well on my own.”

“Uhm...” Sirius shrugged, looking a bit lost. “I'm funny and charming and you'd get really bored on this camping trip without me?”

Pretending to be thinking about it for a moment, Remus eventually nodded.

“Let's settle for: It makes it a lot easier to keep walking without knowing where we're actually going if I've got someone else to blame.” He stuck out his tongue at Sirius, who puffed out his chest proudly.

“Well, we're going south,” Sirius declared, his voice smug. “That's all we gotta know at this point. South is good. South is warm.”

Snorting, Remus started walking again and Sirius fell into step beside him. “I hate to tell you this, Pads, but a whole great deal of the 'South' ahead is still going to be Russia. Don't keep your hopes up to see palm trees.”

“Right,” Sirius grinned and they fell silent again for a while as they tried to cross a rather difficult patch of rocks divided by sudden crevices.

Eventually they decided to turn downhill and get closer to the river. Sirius pointed out a place further down in the valley that looked like there could be caves and Remus agreed that it was not a bad idea to start looking for somewhere to stay and get some rest. The sun was still as bright as ever, but more clouds were starting to appear in the sky and the wind had got a bit sharper, which was not an altogether pleasant change.


	7. Chapter 7

They had barely stepped inside the first cave they'd found, when the sound of thunder rang through the mountain range. Staring outside, Remus swallowed.

“Talk about good timing.”

“Let's hope this cave is as blissfully safe as the last one,” Sirius nodded and turned towards the inside of the cave. It was darker than the previous one and the ceiling was lower. Gripping his wand, Remus suddenly put his free hand on Sirius's raised arm that was about to cast a spell.

“Wait,” he interrupted. “If we use magic... remember what Malfoy said? She can sense it. She'll know where we are.”

“Shit,” Sirius hissed and pulled a face for a moment. Eventually he shrugged. “You know... I don't think we have any choice.” Nodding into the cave, he continued. “Merlin knows what could be in there. I don't really see a way for us without light, at least a tiny bit of defence... or anything to sleep on, for that matter. I shrunk the fur cloak, remember?”

Remus didn't look particularly happy when he realized Sirius was right. Personally he'd have preferred to stay undercover for a couple of days until there was a proper distance between them and the Death Eaters, but there really wasn't much of a chance for them without magic. He comforted himself with the thought that Lucius Malfoy was not very likely to come looking for them in a Siberian thunderstorm.

“I don't really like this,” he mumbled as he ignited the tip of his wand and joined Sirius, who was already casting two small flames to lighten up the cave on a larger scale.

“It's gonna be okay,” Sirius replied. “I don't think they'll be able to reach us all that soon. The weather looks worse, and even if it was better, it would take them quite a while to reach us, even by boat. We're upstream.”

Nodding absent-mindedly, Remus continued to search the cave for any signs of danger. While it was lower and darker than the first one, it was also – to their surprise – much smaller. It hardly went ten feet into the mountain. Water was trickling out of a small hole at the back and formed a tiny stream along the wall and outside. Checking the hole, Sirius eventually concluded that it wasn't a leak in the roof, but rather a spring coming from inside the mountain.

“I guess we'll notice soon enough if it should suddenly begin to pour out floods of water,” he shrugged, glancing outside, where the first drops of rain were beginning to fall. “This doesn't look very nice. I'm kinda glad we have some sort of dinner with us. Engorgio!”

Spreading the resized wolf fur on the ground, he sat down and conjured up two more flames for the back part of the cave.

“Sit down, Remus,” he ordered. “There's nothing in here. And if there is, it's hidden well.”

“Yeah, that's what discomforts me,” Remus smirked, but sat down next to Sirius. “Is it just me or are those flames brighter than they used to be?”

“I'm not sure,” Sirius replied, looking at the flames. “It could be because the cave is about half the size of the last one. But I did think it was a bit easier to cast them, actually.”

“That's a good sign, right?” Remus prompted and Sirius turned to look at him.

“I reckon... What's eating you?”

Returning Sirius's gaze, Remus sighed, rubbing his forehead and running a hand through his hair. “I dunno. I feel so... dumb all of a sudden. I never thought I'd come to be so dependent on magic. And I've realized that after seven years at Hogwarts, I am still completely clueless in situations like these. When Malfoy mentioned shamans, I found out that I know nothing about them. At all. I never read a single book, all I know is that there aren't supposed to be any of them left.”

“Yeah, well,” Sirius scratched his brow. “That's what they told us. I guess Binns was wrong on that. Not that I ever listened to him much, but... yeah, I think Grindelwald was supposed to have offed the last ones here, right?”

“Exactly,” Remus groaned. “And from all the other stuff he did back then, he didn't seem to be the type to leave things unfinished. I never even bothered questioning it, or reading up on shamanism in general. I haven't got the faintest clue about any of it. I don't know whether the storm outside is real or whether she could've created it just to keep us up. For all I know she could be turning round the corner any second because she can, dunno... ride the wind or something...”

Sirius leaned back on his elbows and frowned at the mouth of the cave. It was raining outside now.

“I get what you mean, but I daresay the chances for that are slim. She wouldn't have sent Death Eaters after us if she could've done all that stuff. Shaman magic is essentially different from our kind of magic, which is probably why we can't use ours properly here.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Remus sighed, shrugging. He looked a little sheepish all of a sudden. “I just feel like an ignorant fool for not knowing anything at all. I'm used to being the bookish, well-informed sort of guy, you know?”

Chuckling, Sirius patted his back and Remus let himself fall back flat onto the wolf fur. Glancing up at Sirius, who was still perched up on his elbows, he frowned.

“Hang on,” he burst out and sat up again, looking at Sirius. “How come _you_ know stuff about shaman magic?”

“Do I?” Sirius asked, a bit taken aback, and Remus narrowed his eyes.

“Yes. The thing with shaman magic being different? I didn't know that, I just assumed... I dunno, I didn't actually assume anything.”

Sirius looked amused all of a sudden. “Does it bother you that Mr Padfoot knows something Mr Moony does not?” he teased and Remus shot him an evil glance. Laughing, his threw his head back. “It does!”

“Well, a bit perhaps,” Remus grumbled. “Makes me wanna know how you know this stuff. I haven't seen you read a book that wasn't compulsory school reading in all those years I've known you. ...Don't tell me your shallow sensationalist novels include facts about shamans?”

“No,” Sirius chuckled. “Look, I don't know all that much and I'm a bit reluctant to take any of it for fact, really... Our nanny told me some stuff when I was a kid, when she read the Celestus books to Regulus and me...”

“The what?” Remus asked and Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Sanguineus Celestus? You don't know the books? The Adventures of S. Celestus by Ursula Flint? They come in three volumes...” When Remus shook his head, he looked surprised for a moment. “Right, I thought you'd know them, they're... hmm.” He broke off and seemed to be lost in thought for a bit, then continued. “You know, come to think of it, maybe you wouldn't know them.”

“How so? What kind of books are they?” Remus asked and Sirius grimaced.

“Well... I never thought of it this way, but I guess your parents would have to be a bit more... like mine to have them at home.” When Remus only raised an eyebrow, Sirius explained. “Ursula Flint is actually some ancestor of mine. Don't ask me for details, it's all way back. She wrote them, and the stories have since been passed down the family line. They were published, you can buy them in shops, too. I always assumed the stories were generally famous because all the children I grew up with knew them – but then again, most of them were either directly or more distantly related to the Black family, or other associates.”

“Well, I don't think anyone in my family was ever important enough to associate with the Black family,” Remus interjected and Sirius smiled.

“I know. One more reason to like you, really.”

“What about those books, then?” Remus prodded and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Right. They're supposedly 'didactic tales for the Victorian wizard household' or something along those lines. There's this character, Sanguineus, who has a bunch of adventures and encounters all sorts of things. Bottom line is, he always turns out the hero in the end because he's a wizard and smarter than everyone else.” He looked at Remus, who didn't seem to know quite what to make of it. Sirius sighed.

“It's pure-blood propaganda. The point is, coming from an ancient line of wizards and witches makes you superior to everyone else on the planet and gives you a right to treat others like dirt.”

He looked at Remus with a glum expression, while the other man seemed to feel a little uncomfortable. He had seen a good deal of that attitude in his life himself.

“So,” Remus cleared his throat. “At which point do the shamans come in, then?”

“At the same point as all the other 'inferior' subjects come in,” Sirius replied darkly. “It's always the same basic structure. Sanguineus goes out into the world, in this case Siberia – the descriptions are nothing like this actual place here, by the way – and anyway, he meets a bunch of shamans who are all quite evil and want to kill him, but because he's super pure-blooded, he shows them who the boss is and in the end they're practically his house elves, drooling over him while slaving their arses off. Happy end. Next story: repeat with different topic.”

“Sounds like fun,” Remus stated dryly. “I'm not sure I want to ask whether there's any mention of werewolves.”

“Let me put it this way, the most positive mention of them you're gonna find will be related to their heads hanging on the wall as hunting trophies... I'm sorry,” Sirius replied quietly and looked away, visibly ashamed. Remus smirked, then put his hand on Sirius's shoulder.

“Eh... No worries. It's not like I haven't heard that before.” When Sirius only muttered something unintelligible, Remus gave his shoulder a light pat. “Oh, come on. You didn't write them.”

“I know,” Sirius sighed. “But this just reminds of how my parents and my brother and my whole family in general are just full of shit.”

“Well, so are you,” Remus replied and Sirius's head shot up. Remus grinned. “Maybe not in the same way as the rest of your lot, but...”

“Oh, shut up, Remus Lupin!” Sirius laughed, slapping his friend. Remus looked smug.

“Don't even try to deny it, Sirius...” he giggled, dodging a second slap before catching Sirius's wrists with his hands. Struggling, they ended up in a heap and quickly resolved to mean tricks, trying to gain the upper hand.

“Stop... tickling...” Remus panted furiously and Sirius cackled evilly. “You're gonna... smash... the berries...”

“Yeah, right,” Sirius giggled. “Nice try. Like I don't know your robe pockets are as enchanted as mine...”

“Okay, okay,” Remus admitted, desperately trying to slap Sirius's hands away. “If I give up, will you just stop... tickling... SIRIUS!”

Collapsing on top of Remus in a heap of giggles, Sirius pinned the flailing man beneath him to the ground, effectively keeping him from getting up. After a while, Remus gave up all resistance, relaxing under Sirius's weight and sighing.

“Sirius...” he whined and the black-haired man lifted his head to cock an eyebrow at his prisoner.

“What?”

“You still haven't told me what that book actually says about shamanism...”

With a thud, Sirius dropped his forehead against Remus's chest.

“Only you could think of shamanism and Victorian novels while I'm lying on top of you.”

Remus laughed. “It's your own fault. I feel like half my time at Hogwarts consisted of being crash-tackled by either you or Padfoot, accidentally or on purpose. It doesn't feel like anything out of the ordinary much...”

“Awww,” Sirius pouted, looking heartbroken. “And I thought it was special for you, too!”

A chuckle burst out of Remus and he pouted back at Sirius, ruffling his hair. “Be naked next time, maybe it'll be more special then.”

“Would you like that?” Sirius grinned and Remus stuck his tongue out.

“I dunno, but I'm sure my cock would appreciate it at least a little bit.”

Gasping, Sirius gave him a shove. “Maybe Padfoot should tackle you naked sometime. We'll see how much your cock will appreciate him!”

“I don't want to know, really,” Remus chuckled, shifting Sirius's weight on his body a little. “But as for the rest of me, I prefer you. Padfoot has notoriously bad breath.”

Sirius looked down at Remus and pressed his lips together, running his tongue over his teeth behind them and swallowing. He wrinkled his nose. “Admitted, mine has been better too. That's what you get in the Siberian wilderness.”

“I haven't fainted yet,” Remus replied with a smile. “So I guess that's okay.”

Sirius returned his smile, holding Remus's gaze for a moment that seemed unusually long. Breathing softly, Sirius shifted his weight a little and readjusted his legs.

A loud rumble echoed through the cave and they both burst out into giggles.

“Was that your stomach or mine?” Remus cringed, a little embarrassed. Sirius shrugged and sat back up, onto his heels.

“What do you say we have those berries?” he suggested. “It's not much, but it'll be something. I'm still hoping that it might stop raining soon enough and then we can always find something more to eat...”

“Agreed,” Remus nodded. “I'm not particularly keen on getting wet myself.”

They began to rummage in their robes and eventually settled next to each other on the fur. Remus conjured another fire up in front of them and they began to eat the berries out of their pockets. When they had finished, they stared outside, where it was still raining.

Sighing, Remus let himself fall on his back again.

“Tell me a story?” he asked, poking Sirius in the ribs. Looking a little nonplussed, Sirius turned towards him and furrowed his brow.

“What kind of story?” he shrugged and Remus shook his head.

“Any. Tell me of the Celestus guy and the shamans, by all means. I don't care. I just need something to distract me from the fact that I'm still hungry.”

“Ugh, I haven't read that story since I was ten,” Sirius groaned, when he saw Remus's pout. “I'm not sure I even remember it – or want to remember it.” Scratching his head, he narrowed his eyes as he tried to recall.

“Please?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Alright. Well, it starts out with Sanguineus Shithead Celestus, who is handsome and young and prince of a great kingdom. He wants to marry the Princess Mera, who is as beautiful and pure as a goddess – and probably his second cousin or so...” he added with a snort and Remus chuckled. Snickering lightly, Sirius continued.

“But oh, when the day of the wedding arrives, he finds that his bride has been carried away by mean spirits and he sets out to find her because never will he find a girl so pure again. He travels a long way and the stars show him the way – now, this is why my entire family is named after them, I guess. Anyway, he ends up in a faraway land up north where it's very cold and the Dog Star is the centre of the night sky – there's another thing she didn't have a clue of – and snow covers the ground...”

Adjusting his position a bit, he smirked at Remus, who seemed to be enjoying the tale, his eyes half closed.

“So, walking across the tundra he encounters spirits who do not know him, but marvel at his strength and beauty. They ask him for help because evil spirits have taken over the land. When Celestus hears that those spirits also took his bride, he sets out to fight them and the good spirits lead the way. Eventually he comes to three tents, in between which his helpless bride is bound to a pole. Three cloaked shamans are dancing around her, their evil spirits flying through the air in a devilish dance. Sanguineus demands that they let the girl go, but they refuse. Threatening to destroy them, the dumbass demands his girl again, and again. When they refuse him a second and third time, he becomes angry and draws his wand. They begin to fight and one by one the three shamans begin to work their magic against Celestus. The first one is the shaman of the home spirits that abduct little children from their cradles and replace them with halfbreed spirit spawn. Beating his drum and singing to his spirits, the shaman tries to attack Celestus, but – of course – the spirits are no match for Celestus's magic and cunning – damn Slytherin house pride, really...

“The second shaman is the shaman of the sky spirits that create storms to destroy the homes of the civilized and rain to make the weed grow. He too beats his drum and a huge storm gathers that covers the sky in blizzard clouds. A great snowstorm breaks loose and Celestus almost loses orientation, when the stars of his ancestors suddenly shine through the clouds and guide his way again. He finds the second shaman in the snowstorm and defeats him, too.

“The third shaman is Lord over the spirits of death that reap the earth of all things innocent and pure and bring corruption and sickness instead. Beating his drum the shaman rises from the earth and his cloak is billowing around him as he turns into a spirit of death himself. And as a spirit he attacks Sanguineus and takes possession of his body. Celestus hears his voice in his head that says 'Now you will die, for you have no power over me'. But of course Sanguineus continues to fight and will not surrender easily, so the shaman offers him a deal: 'I see you are strong and noble' he says 'So I will let you live, but you must forsake your bride. I shall give you my own daughter instead and together you may rule this land as a king'... - Three guesses where this is leading?” Sirius asked and Remus smiled sleepily.

“Keep going, I like it. It's not all that badly pure-blood...”

“No, because I am rephrasing and editing as I go,” Sirius chuckled. “But anyway, Celestus obviously refuses. He won't marry anyone who is not pure – and the shaman's daughter is certainly not. So he fights with all his might against the spirit of death inside him and the power of centuries in his body, _in his very blood_ , eventually manages to banish the spirit of death. Ripped from Celestus's body, the third shaman's spirit cries out as he is defeated. Sanguineus frees his girl and punishes the three shamans for their evil deeds. The good spirits of the land are forever indebted to him and all his pure-blood offspring for the rest of eternity. Sanguineus and his girl ride off on a polar bear, the twinkling stars showing the way. The End.”

Lying down next to Remus, who had closed his eyes, he sighed. He was still feeling hungry.

“Thanks,” Remus mumbled. “That was actually quite lovely. Not sure I want to believe any of it, but I liked the polar bear at the end.” Sirius chuckled.

“The polar bear's my own invention. I always thought there should have been one.”

“It is a very nice touch indeed,” Remus complimented. “Your nanny read those stories to you?”

“Yeah. Well, mother wouldn't have, she was too busy for this. Nanny did that. And she told us that we would be as strong and superior as Celestus one day if we were good boys. That we need not fear evil shamans because we were real, pure-blooded wizards and no harm would come to us...”

“Except it's a little hard to feel superior when you can hardly perform a third-year spell because the supposedly inferior shamans have effectively blocked all your superior pure-blood magic, huh?” Remus mused and Sirius snorted.

“I never said Nanny was smart. Or less full of shit than my parents, even if she was maybe a little nicer...” he trailed off into a yawn.

Remus looked at him. “You know, I'm still kinda hungry...” - Sirius groaned in agreement - “...but what do you say, we take a nap and maybe it'll have stopped raining by the time we wake up?”

“Sounds good to me,” Sirius agreed, curling up and shuffling a little closer to the flame that indeed flickered more brightly and was much warmer than the last ones had been. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of rain for a while.

“Remus?”

“Mh?”

“Can you move just a bit? Like... so I can lie by the fire?”

“Mmmh.”

With a bustling of robes, Remus rearranged himself so they could both lie relatively outstretched alongside on the fur. They looked a bit like canned fish on the small space, but Sirius could live with that as long as it was warm. On the brink of sleep he noticed Remus shifting a little beside him and he felt a hand brush against his side before he drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

When Remus woke up it was because of the cold. Opening his eyes he spotted Sirius, who sat hunched by the flame, hugging his knees and trying to keep his teeth from clattering too loudly. A crude stone goblet filled with water stood at his feet. Looking past the fire, Remus saw that the rain outside had stopped, but the sun hadn't returned.

“The flame is getting weaker,” Sirius suddenly remarked and Remus realized he was right.

“What do you reckon that means?” he asked and Sirius shrugged.

“I don't know. I thought earlier that it might have been stronger because we were leaving shaman country. If that was right, then this means they're catching up with us.”

Remus couldn't say he liked the thought, as logical as it seemed.

“Maybe the spell's just wearing off a little...”

Sitting up he pointed at the water cup with a questioning glance and Sirius nodded. Drinking greedily, Remus refilled the goblet twice, then wiped his mouth.

“You know, maybe we should get going. How are you feeling?” he asked and Sirius shrugged.

“I didn't sleep much; I just feel frozen to the bone, really. But then, I reckon movement might not be such a bad cure. So yeah...” He got up and straightened out his robes. “Let's go.”

“You can wear the fur,” Remus suggested and picked up the wolf, brushing a bit of dirt off. “It's a bit heavy, but it'll keep you warm at least.”

“What about you, then?” Sirius asked and Remus shrugged.

“I'll survive. I don't get cold half as easily as you do. Family thing – we wear short sleeves even in deepest winter. Makes Christmas parties look really odd to the onlooker, I guess.”

Sirius looked sceptical and eyed first the fur, then Remus. “You're cold right now, though. Maybe we can share it. If you get warm enough to go without at some point, fine. But neither of us should be risking a cold.”

When Remus nodded in agreement, albeit a little reluctantly, Sirius got out his wand and pointed it at the wolf skin. “Engorgio!”

The spell worked well enough, adding about half the original size to the coat. Draping it over himself and making sure there was enough left to cover Remus's shoulders as well, Sirius waited patiently for the other man to remove the fires and take a quick peek outside under the Invisibility Cloak to see whether it was safe. Once everything was settled and Remus had wrapped his half of the fur around his shoulders, they left, taking special care where they stepped, not only because they were more or less bound to each other, but also because the ground had become soggy and slippery, with hundreds of tiny streams of water running everywhere. The mountain had turned into a swamp in a most effective way.

*

“Okay, I give up,” Remus groaned. “Can we just find a cave to stay in and call it a fucking day?”

They had been walking for hours, but it seemed to both of them as if they'd hardly moved ahead at all. Walking had suddenly become twice as hard as before, now that the rocks were slippery and everything that wasn't rocks was mud. Walking under the fur together hadn't worked for long and Remus had given his half to Sirius, who had wrapped the whole thing around himself and now struggled to keep balance in it. Ironically, it had been Remus who'd slipped and was now covered in mud up to his knees and elbows. As they were both focused on not falling over, they hadn't really talked much, but rather just cursed under their breath every now and then.

The sky was still overhung with clouds as far as they could see and a strange atmosphere of cold dampness and dusk was in the air. It seemed terribly out of place after days and days without nights or darkness.

“There's something that looks like a cave,” Sirius remarked, pointing downhill. “Bless those freaking trolls for existing in multitudes...”

“I suppose that's also the only thing they do,” Remus replied, his voice a little on edge, and they carefully made their way down the slope, minding each step.

It was indeed a cave and a sigh of relief escaped both of them. Stepping in, they were about to draw their wands when suddenly something big and hairy jumped in front of them, a familiar shade of green and blue.

“Coydiary!” Remus yelled and they jumped back outside, adrenaline shooting through their veins. Wands drawn they looked at the catlike creature that hissed at them furiously.

“I thought you said they were afraid of humans,” Sirius muttered and Remus shook his head in confusion.

“But they are! I don't understand... wait...” He put his hand on Sirius's arm, then pointed at something inside the cave. “Aw, shit... Look!”

Sirius narrowed his eyes and tried to steal a glimpse into the darkness. Something was moving behind the Coydiary. Moving a step closer, he noticed how the animal took a reluctant step back, as if it had to force itself for a moment to stand its ground. Sirius realized that it _was_ afraid of him, yet kept defending the entrance to the cave, hissing and spitting relentlessly. More movement was visible behind it.

“...Baby kittens?” Sirius eventually burst out and he saw Remus nodding from the corner of his eye.

“I think so,” the other man answered, looking at the Coydiary. “It's defending its cubs. That's why it's not running away.”

Sirius groaned and lowered his wand in defeat.

“You know, I'd just feel like an utter arsehole if we chucked out a family of ickle Babydiaries...” Looking at Remus, he thought he saw a trace of amusement in the understanding eyes of his friend. They sighed in unison. “So... are we moving on? Can we just pretend we never saw this cave and find somewhere else?”

Remus seemed to ponder the question for a moment and then nodded, defeated.

“I guess we are. Or...” He paused, his exhaustion winning the battle against chivalry just a little. “...let's move away a bit and see what happens? Coydiaries are known to flee places if they can smell humans. Maybe we're lucky and mummy is going to take her babies elsewhere anyway.”

“Which isn't scheming at all,” Sirius scolded, but he had to admit that he liked the idea more than he cared to admit. “How about we try to find something to eat while we keep an eye on the cave? I'm starving,” he suggested and Remus nodded. Slowly they retreated down the slope, where they could see the entrance to the cave well.

Looking around the soggy ground, Sirius's stomach turned. The term 'swamp soup' was becoming increasingly accurate for any dish they tried to prepare from any of the mosses he could see.

“Hey, Remus,” he called and the other man looked at him questioningly. Sirius pointed towards the river. “I'm gonna go and check out those bushes. Maybe they carry something that isn't marsh...”

“Alright,” Remus nodded and Sirius made his way down the last bit of the slope until he stood by the river. It didn't look very deep despite the rain. Crouching down by the group of low bushes, he hoped to find anything edible on their branches, but had to realize that unless he wanted to eat thorns, he would have to look for food elsewhere. He eyes darted back to the swamp-covered mountain and a sigh escaped his lips.

Remus ripped his own attention away from the mud at his feet when he saw movement in the corner of his eye. Looking uphill he saw the Coydiary sneak out of the cave, sniffing the air carefully and immediately spotting him where he stood. Hissing, the animal left its hiding place, three cubs clinging to its back. Baring sharp teeth at Remus, the parent Coydiary retreated backwards up the hill, never letting the werewolf further down out of its sight.

Remus's attention, however, was suddenly distracted when he heard a big splash behind him. He gave a start and turned around, eyes widening when Sirius had suddenly disappeared, leaving only the wolf fur behind on a rock where he had stood.

“Sirius!” he called out, hurrying towards the stream while frantically scanning the rough water for signs of his friend. A flash of panic began to rise inside him, when another couple of splashes caused him to turn aside and he saw the big, black dog jump around in the water, looking like he was having a good time.

Throwing one more glance at the Coydiary that had taken the chance of the moment and was now barely visible in the distance as it ran off into the mountains, Remus stumbled down the remaining distance to the riverbank.

“Padfoot! What are you doing, for fuck's sake!” he cried, when the dog stepped ashore and shook his coat, droplets of water flying everywhere. He let a fish drop from his mouth and it fell onto a small pile of four other fish. Looking at Remus, he wagged his tail, looking smug.

“You are officially _insane_!” Remus exclaimed. “And there you were, whining about how cold you were!” Muttering under his breath, he picked up the fish and the wolf coat and started walking uphill towards the cave. Cocking his head, Padfoot followed him.

When Remus put down the fish in front of the cave and drew his wand, Sirius transformed back. “What do you say? Fish for dinner sounds better than swamp, right?”

“Yes, and _you're wet from head to toe, Sirius_!” Remus scolded. Sirius grinned.

“You sound like McGonagall. A quick Drying spell will take care of that...”

Still grumbling, Remus began to approach the cave. Drawing his own wand, Sirius stepped after him.

“Lumos!” they muttered in unison.

Nothing happened.

“Wait, what?” Sirius burst out. “Lumos!”

“I can't believe... we're not this deep down in the valley, are we?” Remus blurted out when Sirius's wand didn't show any reaction. “It should work!”

Slightly panicky, Sirius ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, what do we do now? Can we risk going inside?”

“Well, the Coydiaries are gone,” Remus reasoned. “And I don't think they'd be sharing a cave with other creatures. There shouldn't be any danger in there. It'll just be, you know, dark.”

“Fair enough,” Sirius replied. “I won't be windy, at least.”

Eyeing his friend, Remus let out an exasperated sigh. “Merlin, you're drenched to the bone. Fantastic idea to go swimming, Sirius, really...”

“I can see that myself now,” Sirius snapped, shivering for real now. “Let's just go inside. We might find our way around...”

It took them a couple of minutes to adjust their eyes to the darkness. In a corner they could make out something that looked like a big nest of moss and leaves and branches. Otherwise the cave seemed to be empty.

“Lucky that Coydiaries eat pretty much anything that crosses their way,” Remus murmured. “Apart from humans. Well, unless they have cubs to defend,” he added.

“Could we, you know, set the nest afire somehow? Make light?” Sirius suggested and Remus snorted.

“Like how? Want me to get two stones and make fire? Prepare for a long wait.”

Sirius had begun to rummage in the pockets of his robes frantically. His teeth were clattering and he was bouncing lightly to keep his muscles warm.

“Didn't we... you know... at James's stag party, we had those Muggle things... to make fire with... the ones we stuck up James's nose when he was drunk...”

“Matchsticks,” Remus prompted and wrinkled his nose. “That was ages ago. Haven't you _washed_ your robes since then?”

“A quick Scourgify does the trick just as well. And you better be glad I haven't,” Sirius muttered, still arms deep in his enchanted pockets, apparently feeling around at the bottom. His body tensed up when he seemed to have found something. Pulling his hand out of his robes, he held up “One and a half matchsticks. The end that looks like a dick was the important one, right?”

“Yes,” Remus replied and stepped up to Sirius, examining the matchsticks. One was whole, but a bit dirty, something that looked and smelt like tobacco sticking to the dark red head. The other matchstick was broken in half, but fortunately enough the right half had been saved and was relatively undamaged.

“I suppose that should work,” Remus muttered, turning to the nest in the corner. “We might want to take it apart and maybe make a pile of just a bit of it first. Otherwise it might simply burn up and we'll be left with nothing to keep it alive with – if we manage to set it afire at all, mind you...”

“Ah, you'll manage,” Sirius smiled encouragingly and gave Remus a slight shove. “Don't your Muggle grandparents have one of those old-fashioned fireplaces?”

“Yes,” Remus replied dryly. “And it takes me an average of fifteen matchsticks to light a fire without magic. Honestly, better prepare to freeze.”

Swallowing hard, Sirius watched as Remus began to tear off bits of moss and twigs from the Coydiary nest.

“At least this is really well dried,” he remarked and Sirius smiled, determined not to lose hope just yet. He wrapped his arms around himself and pretended not to be cold. Kneeling down next to Remus, he watched as the other man took the broken matchstick.

“Here goes,” he breathed and with a swish a small flame burst into life. Raising a slightly bigger, but not too thick twig to it, Remus made the flame jump over and then put the matchstick down onto the pile of moss. It didn't catch fire, but merely began to char, turned black and started to curl before falling to ashes. Taking a deep breath, Remus lowered the other twig to the pile and tried to start a flame from a number of different ends.

When he had managed something that could be called a fire, Sirius exhaled audibly, not really having held his breath on purpose. Rubbing his upper arms, he got up and looked around the cave as it lightened up a bit, if not as much as it had with the magical flames.

“Looks nice enough,” he pressed out and Remus threw him a sideways glance.

“Yeah. Go get the fur? And then take your clothes off, for Merlin's sake.”

“What?” Sirius asked sheepishly and Remus rolled his eyes, gesturing impatiently.

“You're freezing, Sirius. Wearing wet clothes is not going to make it better. Take them off and we can try to get them dry, at least a little. You can have my robe in the meantime, or wrap yourself up in the wolf coat.”

“Oh... okay,” Sirius nodded and he went to take the fur coat inside. Peeling himself out of his robes and pulling his shirt off over his head, he suddenly heard Remus curse. When he freed his head from his shirt, he stood in the darkness again.

“Sorry,” Remus mumbled. “Fire went out. This is going to be tougher than I thought... And we only have one matchstick left.”

Sirius didn't reply, he just dropped his wet clothes to the floor and once he was stripped down to his underpants, he sat down on the wolf coat, wrapping the ends around himself.

It took Remus about five more minutes to set up another fire. It needed a number of attempts, but luckily enough he managed to keep a small flame on a thin twig alive for long enough to get a bigger flame going eventually. Looking about the nest for a decent branch or twig, Remus then made a small, second fire in case the first one went out and needed to be relit.

Not paying Sirius, who was still shaking with the cold, any attention he picked up his wet clothes and spread them out so they would dry more easily. Then he took off his robes and threw them at Sirius.

“There, dry yourself off and try to get warm. And watch the fire.”

“Where are you going?”

“Cleaning the fish,” Remus answered and was gone before Sirius could reply anything. Staring dumbly at the flame once he had covered himself, he wondered just how mad Remus was. He felt like an idiot for ever thinking that going for a happy dive in the river was a good idea.

When Remus returned and bustled about by the fire without saying a word, putting the fish on sticks and positioning them so they could cook properly, Sirius was quiet, not wanting to disturb the other man in his business.

“Are you mad at me?” he eventually asked quietly when Remus had settled down by the fire and poked at it with a stick every now and then.

Sighing deeply, Remus looked at Sirius and rolled his eyes, not quite managing to keep a smile from tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“I was going to be,” he admitted, chuckling. “Really, you're a fucking idiot, Sirius.” Sirius cringed with embarrassment and nodded. Shaking his head, Remus shrugged a little sheepishly. “But then I'm also happy beyond expression that we're having fish instead of bog-in-the-pot. So the whole plan of being angry at you has failed a little...”

Sirius grinned. “There's just too much method to my madness, right? Irresistible.”

“Don't push it,” Remus replied, grinning too.

*

“Do you remember the last time we slept like this?” Remus smiled against Sirius's neck and the black-haired man chuckled quietly, snuggling closer.

After they'd finished eating the fish, Remus had come up with some kind of sleeping arrangement. They had lain down on one half of the slightly enlarged wolf coat and used Remus's robes as a blanket, particularly for Sirius, who was still in his undies. Folding the other half of the fur over them provided them with a little more cover and they had decided to drape the Invisibility Cloak over the both of them as well. Since they didn't have magic to defend themselves, being invisible would be of some advantage should anything unexpected happen.

Spooning up behind Sirius, Remus had wrapped his arms around him, Sirius's head resting in the crook between his shoulder and upper arm. Their feet were still rather chilly, but generally, Sirius was beginning to warm up. Being covered entirely by the Invisibility Cloak made the air under it slightly stuffy, but at least it wasn't cold.

Through the Cloak, they could see the fires burning down slowly. They had used up the rest of the Coydiary nest; now there was nothing left to keep the fire alive with.

Sirius closed his eyes and smiled sleepily.

“Yes, I think I remember. How old were we, fourteen?”

“Or fifteen. I'm not sure. We were whiny and sensitive teenage boys, at any rate.”

“Oh, you forgot _heartbroken_.” Sirius chuckled. “Those were times of great suffering, in case you've forgotten. What was that French guy's name again? The one you were crying after?”

“Ah, Jacques Roquefort from Ravenclaw,” Remus sighed as he remembered, his voice dreamy. “He was as perfectly French as you can possibly get in this world without turning into a baguette...”

Sirius laughed and rested one of his arms on top of Remus's that was wrapped around his chest from behind. “You know, I remember you using the word 'baguette' in a slightly different metaphor back then...” he giggled, twitching when he felt Remus's breath in his neck as he snickered.

“I was young and deluded, what can I say?”

“We both were, right? I mean, neither of us got any real action, so having horny fantasies was pretty much all there was...”

“I actually got to suck his cock at some point,” Remus replied, then added, “Until he realized afterwards that it was really a very gay thing to do and hit me in the face with a hex that had me sneezing for about three hours until it wore off... I think I spent those hours hiding in a broom closet because I was too ashamed to face anyone....”

“Sounds nasty,” Sirius grinned and Remus shrugged, a smile in his voice.

“It was totally worth it. I even thought so back then. Of course I was still heartbroken.”

“Wouldn't have been puberty if you hadn't been,” Sirius comforted him, patting his hand. “I reckon it was probably for the best I never got any of the guys I was so convinced were the loves of my life.”

“Well, if it hadn't been a different guy every other week, you might have,” Remus teased, but Sirius just grinned, shoving Remus slightly as he snuggled deeper into his embrace.

“You know, despite all my complaining about how much I wanted it and needed it, an actual dick up my arse would probably have sploded my whiny, little brain.”

“You were aiming a little high for a fifteen-year-old, I'd say,” Remus chuckled and blew a stray strand of Sirius's black hair out of the way that had got into his face. Resting his head in a convenient place at the nape of Sirius's neck, he closed his eyes. It was quiet for a moment, until Sirius quietly spoke.

“Do you think we've changed, Remus?”

Remus didn't reply immediately. The quiet seriousness of the question had taken him aback and he realized he could feel Sirius's heart beat from where his hand rested on his chest.

“We've grown up,” he eventually replied and Sirius exhaled and shook his head slightly.

“I mean us,” he explained. “You and me. Are we... are we still friends like we used to be?”

“I...” Remus felt at a loss of words all of a sudden. “I don't know...”, he stuttered, trailing off and falling quiet. “Aren't we?”

“I don't know,” Sirius whispered hoarsely. “I used to think that no matter what, we'd never change, we'd always be friends. But... everything's been changing... so much... We've been arguing an awful lot over the past year. There's something... off. Sometimes I wonder...” He paused. “I don't know anymore... ”

Remus could hear the hopelessness in Sirius's voice and pressed him a little closer to himself. Sirius shivered.

“We're fighting a war, Sirius,” he whispered. “War changes... things.”

“It's changing me,” Sirius replied with a distant voice. “I can feel it change me and I can't help it. It's eating away at me from the inside, every time one of us gets almost killed, every time a mission goes wrong despite all the precaution we take and we barely make it home alive...” He paused and took a deep breath. “I didn't think it would be like this. Everyone has secrets now. There's things I can't tell you and I know there's things you can't tell me. James has his secrets, Peter has secrets and none of us are free to share them. I feel so... I feel like I've instinctively stopped trusting anyone... No matter what Dumbledore tells us, I... I just...” He stopped and swallowed hard.

Remus didn't know what to say. Sirius's words had left a bitter taste in his mouth, the sick feeling in his stomach and the stinging of guilt at the back of his mind reminding him that he knew exactly what it felt like. Every time Sirius came home from a mission, tired and wounded, and eyed him, not with open distrust, but with a certain look that hinted at unspoken thoughts, doubts that he hated himself for having. The low crack of Apparition in the middle of the night, when Remus couldn't sleep and wondered where Sirius had disappeared off to, not even daring to _think_ the words that would then inevitably give shape to his fears. He couldn't think it; he mustn't think it.

The pang of guilt he felt when he saw the genuine concern in Sirius's eyes whenever Remus himself came home after two weeks of absence, bleeding, ragged and torn from a mission he couldn't speak about. The care with which they would cast Healing spells, all suspicions temporarily pushed aside by the sheer overwhelming terror of losing someone so close, so unconditionally loved. He had felt it himself, both the terror and the love. And the guilt once the doubts returned in the end.

Unconsciously, his fingertips pressed against Sirius's skin and the strange thought hit him that it was _Sirius_ he was holding, just like he had when they'd been teenagers at school, preoccupied with some heartbreak and in need of a shoulder to cry on. The same Sirius that had stuck with him through trouble of all shapes and sizes ever since they'd been eleven. No matter how far away the thought of Hogwarts usually felt these days, at this moment it seemed unbearably real. It was their life in the Order that had suddenly moved into distance, looking like a sad distortion of their friendship, of reality in general.

“We won't let it happen,” he whispered. “We can work it out, you hear me? I can't lose you.”

Sirius's fingers ghosted over the back of Remus's hand and his fingertips drew little circles across the skin.

“Was it a mistake to move in together, you think?” he asked pensively. “Are we too close? I wonder if... if we weren't so confronted with each other's secrecies... would it be easier?”

“Do you regret moving in together?” Remus asked and Sirius hesitated.

“No, I wanted to,” he began. “I thought it'd be less lonely. I knew James would go and live with Lily and I've known for years that staying in the same place with just Peter for longer than two weeks doesn't work out for me because we get on each other's nerves. As flatmates who go about their business we're really not compatible. I... I wanted it to be you. It had to be you or no-one at all.”

“Yeah,” Remus breathed. “I know what you mean.” A quiet chuckle escaped his throat and he nudged Sirius lightly. “So you're lucky you didn't get stranded in Siberia with Peter, huh?”

Snickering, Sirius nodded and struggled to turn around in Remus's arms without disrupting the carefully draped cloaks around them. Remus lifted his arm a little to give him space, checking that they were still fully covered by the Invisibility Cloak while Sirius settled against him, resting his head in the curve between Remus's outstretched arm and shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist.

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, until Sirius smiled.

“Yeah, I guess I'm lucky. He wouldn't have done this, I guess. I'd have frozen to death here.”

“Oh, he'd have done it. But he's shorter than you, so the effect would probably have been different,” Remus replied and they grinned.

Sirius shifted again, moving the arm he was lying on and trapping it between their bodies. His fingers brushed against the buttons of Remus's shirt.

“I don't want to lose this, Remus. I mean... it's us. We can still get back to what we were. We've been so good together for the last couple of days...”

“Yes, we have,” Remus replied quietly, the fingers of his hand nimbly playing with a strand of Sirius's hair. “It's been like... well, like it used to be. Back at school. Before the war.”

Sirius shifted. “I want to trust you, really, I do. I hate myself for doubting you. Even if just for a moment... I promise... I promise I'll do my best. We can get over this.” His eyes were wide in the darkness and Remus felt a lump in his throat as he returned the gaze.

“Werewolves,” he whispered quietly. The fingers of his other hand twitched where they rested on Sirius's spine. He swallowed hard. “That's what I've been doing for the Order. I find others, those that don't live openly in society and... See, Voldemort's trying to recruit them. My mission usually is to get in touch with others, get information, offer them alternatives... it doesn't always go so well... and it can take long to find them.” He breathed shakily. “Don't tell anyone that I told you. I'm not supposed to... not supposed to...” His voice broke and he averted his eyes, feeling utterly vulnerable.

“Remus,” Sirius breathed almost inaudibly, his hand slowly trailing up the other man's back. “Remus, look at me.” When their eyes met, Sirius's voice was gentle, but firm. “I won't. I swear on my life I won't.”

Silence fell between them and as close as they were, it might have been the soft movement of their breathing that brought their lips together. Unmoving and holding their breath they lay for a second, not really kissing, just connecting.

“Thank you,” Remus murmured and tilted his head.

This time he kissed Sirius, moving lips against lips and revelling in the sensation of being kissed back. He had never kissed Sirius before and there was a certain sweetness to it that had little to do with passion or lust. A dirty, wet cave wasn't the place for him to get horny in, especially when his toes froze off, he hadn't washed or shaved in days, and he could hardly move his leg without disrupting the cocoon they had draped around themselves and let the cold air in.

But they kissed eagerly and sincerely, tongues lazily brushing against each other every so often, teeth softly tugging at lips. Sirius's fingers traced the collar of Remus's shirt, toying with the short hair at the back of his head. Remus sighed contently into the kiss and Sirius smiled.

Something mended.

For now, this was all that counted. Not why they did it or what it meant or what would come after. The fire had died down and was little more than a quickly cooling heap of glowing ashes by the time they fell asleep, invisible to the world under the Cloak.


	9. Chapter 9

Slowly and carefully Padfoot slipped out from under the Cloak and left a sleeping Remus behind. Limping outside on frozen and numb hind paws, he noticed to his relief that the weather was beginning to look a little better. The thick layer of grey clouds had begun to rip in a number of places and the sun shone through, painting what looked like a cobweb of light onto the mountain landscape.

“Sirius?” he heard Remus's voice from inside the cave and he gave a low bark to signal he was outside before trotting off a little, sniffing for anything peculiar or unfamiliar. Feeling his paws come back to life, he began to run about the slope and warmth flooded back into his muscles. He wasn't going to return until the restless, slightly squirmy feeling inside him had calmed down. His dog form didn't reflect the arousal he'd felt when he'd woken up snuggled up against Remus, but before he transformed back he wanted to make sure the pleasant fuzziness in his groin had disappeared. And he didn't want to think about more than necessary, either, which Padfoot's brain was a surprisingly thankful solution for – _they were stranded in Siberia, for Merlin's sake..._

A strange scent was in the air and following it with mild curiosity, he spotted a small herd of what looked like reindeer grazing on the slopes of the next mountain. They seemed peaceful and undisturbed, which he took to be a good sign of no imminent danger.

“Sirius!” he heard Remus call again and with one last sniff around the area, he returned to the cave, where Remus was in the process of inspecting his, Sirius's, clothes.

“They're almost dry,” he remarked when the black dog came in through the entrance and sniffed at his shirt and socks. Transforming back into Sirius, he reached out with one hand and quickly slipped his shirt over his head, shivering when the cold fabric touched his skin.

“Well, this isn't warm in the common sense of the word,” he pressed out, hurrying to get into his socks, pants and shoes. “But it'll do.”

“You can have my robes for a while, they're warmer,” Remus offered, sliding Sirius's cool and still slightly damp black robes over his own clothes instead.

“Thanks,” Sirius breathed, snuggling into Remus's pre-warmed garments and throwing his friend a thankful look. Then he hesitated, clearing his throat a little awkwardly. “Hey, Remus... we're good, right? What... what we said last night...”

Remus caught his eyes and, after a moment of silence, smiled.

“Yeah, we're good. I... I'd say we're good.”

Slight relief washed through Sirius and he briefly wondered what he was even so relieved about. “Oh, by the way, there's a herd of reindeer not far off. I saw it when I went to take a leak...” he continued, sounding cheerful.

“Oh, so that's where you disappeared off to,” Remus replied while he rolled up the wolf coat. “I was wondering for a moment. I thought you might've decided to have another bath...”

“I think I've had it with spontaneous baths for the foreseeable future,” Sirius snorted and Remus chuckled. Sirius gave him a slight shove, grinning. “Are we moving on? The weather's getting better and we might want to get back somewhere we can use magic... just saying.”

Remus nodded. “I had no intention of lingering, really. Let's get going.”

Leaving the cave, they first made a beeline for the river, where they both drank enough water to keep them going for a while. From there, they decided to continue heading south along the river, since it turned out to be easier ground to walk on than the muddy slopes.

They didn't have to walk long before the valley suddenly widened as another merged with it. Slowly leaving the mountain they had spent the night on behind, they passed the herd of reindeer that didn't seem to take much notice of them at first.

It was only when they came closer and closer that one reindeer spotted them and the herd as a whole began to move, taking up speed and dashing away across the slope until it had disappeared completely. Sirius looked after the animals with a slightly sheepish expression, fighting Padfoot's urge to run after them for the sheer hell of it, and only snapped out of it when Remus hastily pulled him aside.

A hissing sound cut through the air and the two men stared at the arrow that stuck out of the ground exactly where Sirius had stood less than a heartbeat before.

“What the...” Sirius pressed out, looking around frantically for the source of the arrow.

“Shit,” Remus whispered when the scenery seemed to come alive around them and a number of people, armed with arrows and dressed in ornamented garments made of leather and fur suddenly appeared out of nowhere. It didn't look like they had Apparated, but rather like they had suddenly emerged like chameleons from the surrounding area.

“They don't look very pleased, do they?” Sirius mumbled, turning around in an attempt to assess their situation. Remus shook his head.

“No. Any ideas what we do now? How quickly can you get the Cloak out?”

“Not quickly enough to get it out, cover us both and then jump out of the way in time before roughly twenty arrows hit us in the face,” Sirius mumbled, not liking at all how the strangers seemed to come closer and closer.

“Do we have any magic at all?” Remus muttered and Sirius made the slight, almost unnoticeable movement with his arm that Remus knew released the wand that was kept up his sleeve. He murmured a quiet spell and took a step back, away from the advancing hunters.

“No. Not even the slightest bit.” He swallowed hard. “We really are in deep shit, are we?”

“I'm afraid so,” Remus breathed, then smacked himself mentally. “Okay, no. We'll keep calm, you hear me? I can't see any Death Eaters and I can't see that crazy madwoman, either. We might yet have a chance – they could really just be hunters. And now they're pissed off because the reindeer have all run off...”

“Fair enough. Let's pray you're right,” Sirius replied and they watched with growing unease how they were being surrounded by armed strangers. Standing back to back, they frantically sought for a solution, for a way out. Or any way of communicating.

One of the strangers called out to someone and Remus thought he could hear Sirius's heart drop in unison with his own, when a sharp female voice answered. Turning their heads to find the source of the voice, they saw a woman step down the slope, a bow and arrow in her hand.

It felt sickly like a deja vu when she broke through the circle of her fellows and stepped up to Remus and Sirius, eyeing them not just with suspicion, but also with an unsettling lack of surprise – or sympathy.

However, while her eyes were hard and alert, Remus noticed, with a relief that he hoped was not premature, that she wasn't the woman they had thought. She was much younger than the shaman woman up north had been; from what Remus guessed she was probably his own age, while the other woman had looked more like she could have been his mother.

Sirius shifted when he realized that the woman was looking at the wand in his hand and was smirking with slight amusement. When her eyes darted up to meet his, she said something in a Slavic language that he couldn't make sense of. From the corner of his eye he saw Remus shaking his head to signal that he hadn't understood and he figured it was probably not a bad idea to copy him. Looking sorry, they stood at the riverbank, shrugging and shaking their heads.

The woman didn't seem to be having any of it. A couple of sharp instructions later they were marching behind her, surrounded by scary looking men.

What was worse, both Sirius and Remus had had to surrender their wands. The woman had displayed uncanny expertise as to where they'd carried them and their bewildered surprise had not worked in their favour.

“I feel even more helpless than before,” Sirius mumbled under his breath. “Not that my wand was of much use, but still... I feel like instead of having a broken arm, I am now missing it altogether.”

“Yeah, me too,” Remus replied quietly. “Do you think it would be silly to place hope on the fact that we're still walking south and not back up north?”

Sirius blinked. He hadn't realized that they had indeed not turned around, but continued to walk into the same direction as before. When they reached a group of boats, Remus groaned under his breath. Boats were bad.

Sitting down in the vessel that was pointed out to them, they watched as the woman gave orders in a language that sounded different from the one she had addressed them with before. A handful of men nodded and stepped back from the water. When all the boats but one began to drift away, they turned around and disappeared back into the mountains.

“How about we throw ourselves overboard and drown?” Remus suggested dryly when the woman gave more orders to her men. Sirius grinned humourlessly.

“I didn't know that was an option. It's getting more and more attractive by the minute.”

“Would anyone at home ever find out what happened to us, you think?” Remus mused, looking into the water. He could see fish in the river and sighed at the distant memory of food. They were still going upstream, still going south, but it held little comfort to him now. The boats were of exactly the same kind as the ones they had already ridden in once and they hadn't taken them anywhere nice.

“You know, in the beginning I thought Dumbledore would probably find out what happened to us,” Sirius remarked. “He's just not the type to _not_ know. I reckoned that if we survived just long enough, he'd have figured out a way of getting us back home, but...”

“Yeah,” Remus sighed. “I was hoping that, too. I've been out on weird and long missions before, but still Dumbledore always seemed to know where I was. This feels...” His voice trailed off and they both fell silent.

Ahead of them the river was broadening further and in the distance beyond the mountains they could see something like a lake. Or an even bigger river. It was hard to tell.

The boats slowly began to drift towards the shore again and Remus spotted a small group of tents not far ahead, standing together on a small tongue of land that stretched into the water. The current had become much less strong and they took up speed approaching the small settlement that looked even more temporary than the other one they'd seen. Only three tents had been set up and there was nothing that indicated that they had stood in their place longer than perhaps a couple of days.

Following the women ashore and into one of the tents, both Remus and Sirius were prepared to face the worst inside.

It turned out to be a Coydiary. Stopping in the entrance of the tent, the two men stared in horror as the woman approached the animal calmly and stroked its greenish head. Purring and hissing, the catlike creature rubbed its head against her legs and when she mumbled something it disappeared outside, brushing past Remus and Sirius on its way.

“Seriously creeped out now,” Sirius breathed and Remus just swallowed. The woman pointed at a piece of fur on the floor and jerked her head, motioning them to sit down. They didn't object and followed suit.

Looking down at them, she pulled their wands out of her belt and turned them over between her fingers, contemplating them calmly. She pointed them at their owners, one in each hand.

“Do not try to run away,” she spoke slowly and with an accent, but clearly enough. “Pain is waiting outside. And your magic is dead here.”

With those words she left the tent and they could hear her voice outside, giving orders and talking to her fellows.

Sirius threw a sideways glance at Remus, who looked terror-stricken.

“That was English, right?” he croaked, “I'm not imagining things – you heard her too, didn't you?”

Nodding, Sirius replied. “Yes. Is that a good or a bad sign, what do you think?”

“I'd have said that it was a good sign,” Remus mused, catching Sirius's gaze. “But considering that she seems to know exactly just what she wants to do with us, I'm not so sure anymore. I feel like she knows who we are.”

“I reckon that's bad, yes,” Sirius agreed. “Although, on the bright side, at least this time we might actually get a clue what's going on.”

“If she lets us,” Remus remarked. “She can keep us in the dark as much as she wants.”

“What is it with women in this place?” Sirius groaned. “Are they all trying to kill us?”

Remus just shrugged and they fell silent when the Coydiary returned to the tent, sitting down opposite them. Its white eyes had no visible pupils, which had the very useful effect of giving the impression that it was looking everywhere at once. It showed no signs of being in the least afraid of either of them, while the two men, on the other hand, swallowed hard at the sight of the sharp teeth that protruded from its broad mouth, and the gleaming claws that dug gently into the fur beneath its paws. Sirius remembered the feeling of those claws digging into his back and it hadn't felt very gentle at all.

Even though this Coydiary was obviously domesticated, it didn't look like it had lost any of its deadliness. It hissed at any movement either of the men made and they sat frozen in their place, not speaking a word in all this time, instead quietly trying to get over the feeling that they were really nothing but dinner that was being saved for later.

Sirius thought that he could hear a sigh of relief coming from Remus when they heard talking outside the tent and the woman came back in. Subtly stretching his stiff neck and back, Remus shifted in his position and Sirius dared to relax his muscles a little himself.

This time the woman sat down opposite them, the Coydiary curling up by her side, resting its head in her lap, but never ceasing to observe the two prisoners.

“You are looked for,” the woman stated and Remus swallowed.

“Yes?”

“Why? Who are you?”

Sirius glanced at Remus, who didn't seem to know what to reply. The woman raised an eyebrow as she ran her fingers through the fluffy coat of her pet killer.

“Death Eaters are wandering in the mountains,” she continued and Remus shook his head.

“We are not Death Eaters.” He tried to keep his voice as calm and firm as possible. Smiling in a way that made Remus's skin crawl, the woman looked from one of them to the other.

“Who are you, then?”

“We are...,” Sirius began, then fell silent for a moment. How was he going to explain without sounding like a blundering idiot? “We came here by accident. We are not Death Eaters.”

“By accident,” the woman repeated slowly. “What an accident to take you here, of all places.” When neither of them replied, she tilted her head. “But if you are not Death Eaters... then you must be the ones they hunt.”

Sirius didn't reply. He felt utterly awkward and threw a sideways glance at Remus, hoping that his friend would know how to get them out of there.

“Well, gentlemen...” - somehow it seemed utterly out of place for her to use such a word - “A messenger from the north is outside. He demands you.”

Remus swallowed, as if to say something, but she silenced him with a wave of her hand.

“And I have no reason to keep him from taking you.”

“Don't!” Remus burst out, wetting his lips as he decided to put his cards on the table and pray it wasn't going to get them both killed. He looked into the woman's eyes and pleaded with all the sincerity he could possibly come up with in his state of rising panic. “Please don't. We are the ones they hunt. We mean no harm, we didn't even mean to come here. We are lost. Please help us.”

She considered him with a stern glance for a moment, then whispered something to the Coydiary that immediately rose to its feet and left the tent, hissing and spitting at someone outside.

“We came here by accident,” Remus continued and Sirius could hear a forced calmness emerge in his voice that partly concealed the desperate subtone. He wasn't quite sure how much of Remus's performance was carefully calculated and how much of it was honest distress. “Someone... found us. A woman. We were taken away as prisoners and when we escaped, she sent Death Eaters after us. We know because we overheard the Death Eaters.”

“That woman – she was the one who sent the Death Eaters?” The young woman sounded slightly taken aback. Remus hesitated a moment, but then figured that it was probably wisest to stick to the truth without making alterations for the sake of not offending someone's sensibility. He nodded.

“Why does she want you?” the woman asked, eyes narrowed. “What do you have that she wants?”

“Look, I wish we knew, but we don't know...” Sirius burst out. He was starting to feel ridiculous. There she was, sitting calmly and telling them that she was this close to selling them out because she simply didn't feel inclined to believe them. He felt like he'd been blindly driven into a corner and the black dog inside him had a hard time to refrain from snapping. His head gave an irritated jerk to the side when he felt Remus's hand on his. The other man gave him a warning look and Sirius bit his lip in frustration.

Remus took a deep breath.

“I think... I think she wanted blood,” he spoke quietly. “There was this ritual. I'm not sure. I don't know. But I think that was what she wanted. I don't know why.”

The young woman's lips were a thin line and she nodded curtly. Throwing Sirius a sharp glance, she stood up and left the tent without another word. When the leather curtain that was the door fell shut behind her, Sirius groaned.

“Blood? Did you just make that up?”

“Dunno,” Remus murmured. “Kinda. Then again, back then... I couldn't tell you why, but it felt like this was the goal... they did have a knife and all...”

His voice trailed off and Sirius let out a quiet wail, covering his face with his hands.

“Can this get any worse?”

“I'm sure it can, if you keep losing your nerve,” Remus replied flatly. “I think I know why Dumbledore doesn't send you on missions that are likely to last longer than one fight.”

“Are you saying I'm all brawn and no brain or what?” Sirius asked and Remus raised an eyebrow.

“No, I know that you've got brains. We'd hardly have made it here alive if you didn't. You're just plain pants at staying calm and using them once you feel like you've been trapped. I know you can come up with the most wondrous things in a duel, especially once things get really tight, but if the point is to avoid the duel, you're quite useless.”

Sirius huffed and Remus chuckled quietly, petting his hand.

“Just leave the talking to me?”

“Yeah,” Sirius snorted. “Alright, I guess you've got a point. You talk... If there's gonna be any more talking at all, mind you. For all we know Malfoy is just about to get his boat ready to take us back into madmanland.”

“I reckon we can try to drown him in the river,” Remus suggested. “He doesn't look too tough and it's not like he can just AK either of us.”

Sirius chuckled quietly despite himself and slowly turned over his hand, which was still covered by Remus's. Tentatively their fingers intertwined and Sirius wet his lips to speak, when the Coydiary suddenly returned and growled at them lowly.

Jumping slightly, they pulled their hands back to themselves and watched as the tundra lion prowled around the tent for a moment. Eventually it stopped and stretched its muscles, revealing the full length of its claws, and yawned lazily before rolling up and watching them sleepily but attentively out of its white eyes.

Remus and Sirius stared like hypnotized at the furry eyelids that were slowly drooping as the creature dozed off and that flashed open whenever either of them as much as inhaled with force. Sirius stifled a sigh. His back was already aching and sitting like a stone statue was not helping. A quick look at Remus told him he wasn't alone in his discomfort, at least.

They sat in silence again, both of them lost in their own thoughts, when the woman came back and looked at them in turn.

“We leave. You will come with us,” she stated, gesturing them to get up. “Follow me.”

Exchanging sceptical looks, they left the tent after her, followed by the Coydiary. Outside people were in the hasty process of tearing down the other two tents, rolling up the leather and furs, and carrying bundles down to the boats.

Remus noticed that the boat they had left behind earlier had caught up with them and lay ashore next to the others, two men stowing away some of the baggage in it that had been brought down. Looking around, Remus saw no traces of Death Eaters or other suspicious people. In fact, everyone seemed to be ignoring him and Sirius to the biggest part. When they got orders to sit in one of the boats, he had the distinct feeling that they were regarded as luggage rather than passengers.

“We go ahead,” the woman announced, climbing into the same boat and waving to three men and her Coydiary to join them.

She shouted a number of orders into various directions and they began to move away from the land again, drifting onto the river that looked considerably deeper than it had a couple of miles down. Seating herself among rolls of fur and leather eventually, the woman fondly curled an arm around the deadly cat and ruffled its fur. Then she looked at her prisoners.

“I think, now that I have saved you, you should give me some answers.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Who are you?”

Sirius bit his lip, determined to keep his mouth shut as he had promised. Remus seemed to be pondering where to start best and eventually explained:

“We come from England.”

“I could guess this, yes,” she replied. “You spoke of Dumbledore. _Albus_ Dumbledore?”

“You know Dumbledore?” Sirius blurted out in surprise and then blushed when both Remus and the woman threw him weird glances. He swallowed hard, looking as humble as he could, figuring that humble wasn't such a bad expression to aim for.

“Not in person,” the woman replied, talking to Remus. “But his name is known.”

“We are friends of Dumbledore,” Remus began. “We are trying to fight against Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters, together with Dumbledore.”

“Is that why you are here?”

“Yes and no. We were... on a mission and we walked into a trap. There was an accident and we ended up here. We didn't know we would end up here in Siberia... this is Siberia, isn't it?”

She looked at him oddly.

“Yes. A part of Siberia. Siberia is rather big, you know. You really were lost here?”

“We were,” Remus answered. “We touched a Portkey... if you know...”

“I know what a Portkey is, yes,” she nodded and Remus smiled respectfully, continuing.

“And it transported us somewhere north of the mountain range here. We were found by a group of people, who took us to their settlement...” He swallowed. “I already told you. We were held captive. The woman who led them performed a kind of ritual – I did not understand it. We managed to escape into the mountains and we were on the run for... a while, before you found us. I can't tell you how long, maybe three days. We had no way of telling the time.”

“Did you see Death Eaters at their settlement?”

Remus hesitated for a moment and looked at Sirius for help. Sirius shook his head.

“No. I looked around and I couldn't see anyone.”

“Neither could I,” Remus agreed. “I don't think they were there. They... might have followed us somehow. We were in the middle of a fight when we were transported here. If they knew where we had gone, they could have found a way of coming after us.”

The woman looked moderately convinced. She stared at the surface of the water for a moment, then shook her head slowly.

“It is possible,” she admitted.

“If you don't mind my question,” Remus began reluctantly and he seemed to be extremely careful with his words. “Do you know... we overheard the Death Eaters and they said that they were here because... because the people of this land...”

“Your Lord Voldemort approached us in person some time ago,” the woman cut him off, holding Remus's gaze. “And he offered us great things in return for our loyalty. Tempting things, indeed.”

“Us?” Sirius croaked, feeling a lump in his throat. She nodded.

“The shaman people of these lands. My people. Whatever is left of us and our magic.”

The two men stared at her and she considered them carefully for a moment before she continued to speak, stroking the soft fur of the Coydiary at her side.

“Our people has been bruised. Years ago a wizard you will have heard of, named Grindelwald, came to my family and did us damage we have never recovered from.”

“But Voldemort isn't going to help you,” Sirius blurted out. “He's just as bad, if not worse than Grindelwald. Believe me, he will use you and then discard you... Don't be stupid and think...”

“Sirius,” Remus cut in, placing a calming hand on the other man's arm and holding him down in his seat, since his agitation was upsetting the boat and the Coydiary did not seem to like it. Not to mention the woman might in fact not appreciate her people being accused of stupidity.

Taking a deep breath, Sirius settled down again.

“I did not say that we accepted his offer, did I?” the woman suddenly asked him and Sirius grimaced, reminding himself that there was a good reason why he had wanted to keep his mouth shut. Remus cleared his throat.

“So you didn't? What... how did he react to that?” he asked, a touch of disbelief audible.

“My father and uncle refused him,” she said plainly. “They are powerful shamans and do not fear him. This is a land of shaman magic and Voldemort's war – your war – does not reach here. They did not trust him. We rejected the offer he made. We want to be left in peace.”

Sirius could not avoid feeling immensely impressed. He'd seen and heard enough to know that Voldemort was not the kind of guy to be turned away by people Sirius was sure he considered his inferiors. As far as he could guess, Voldemort with his pure-blood attitude probably ranked shamans on equal ground with trolls, giants and werewolves. And no matter who or what you were, refusing Voldemort and telling him to stuff it usually resulted in a bright green Dark Mark hovering in the sky. Out of principle.

“Your father and uncle are wise not to trust him,” he heard Remus say next to him and the woman nodded in acknowledgement of the compliment.

“They are. They will be sad to hear that their sister was apparently not as wise.”

“Their sister?” Remus prompted carefully and the woman smiled politely.

“The shaman woman you spoke of is their sister and my aunt. She remains one of the three great shamans alive today.”

“And she's joined Voldemort?” Sirius asked hollowly.

“It seems to be this way, I am afraid.” She looked from one man to the other and paused for a second. “I require your names. I cannot tell you now how much I can – or am willing – to help you, but I will not harm you.”

They gave her their first names and she smiled in the same polite way as before.

“You may call me Nadja. I find it is easiest to say for foreigners, which you are.” She pointed at the creature that had begun to doze with its head in her lap. “This is Pain.”

“Apt name,” Sirius mumbled, looking at Pain's teeth. “I didn't know you could tame Coy-diaries....”

“Tame what?” Nadja frowned, looking confused, and Remus groaned, rubbing his forehead with embarrassment.

“Sirius, Coydiaries really, _really_ have nothing to do with diaries...”

“Is that what you English call them?” Nadja asked. “Coy-... Coydy- what?”

“Coy-dee-ary,” Remus repeated slowly, now slightly confused himself. “I read that the term was actually taken over from the native language of Siberia...”

Nadja stared at him for a moment, then burst out into laughter. Remus looked sheepish and Sirius couldn't help snickering. Seeing Remus flabbergasted was not a sight he got very often.

“Oh, you English are funny people. Apart from the fact that there is no _one_ native language of Siberia,” the woman eventually explained with amusement, “does our language sound to you like we would use words like... the one you said?”

Chuckling to herself, she calmingly petted Pain, who had looked up in irritation and confusion when his mistress had started laughing.

“We do not name them,” Nadja eventually continued soberly, looking at the two men as if they were little boys. “There are animals we never call by name and they are one of them. We refer to them as 'pain of the mountains' sometimes.”

She said something in her native language that technically didn't sound like 'Coydiary' at all, but Remus could well imagine an English wizard from a hundred years ago writing it down as such, leaving out a bunch of syllables and simplifying the remaining sounds. He felt vaguely ashamed of his English ignorance and blushed furiously.

Sirius just grinned at Remus's flustered expression.

“In England, we don't have those animals,” he told Nadja. “We just learn at school that they are too wild to be domesticated.”

“Not quite,” Remus corrected, throwing Sirius a look that told him to stop showing off knowledge he didn't have. “They are _difficult_ to domesticate. Apart from being, well...” he looked at Pain, “Deadly and painful... they have extremely fine noses and ears. They shy away from places where they can smell humans, which they can over miles sometimes. They also need vast territories to run, which is a bit hard to come by, usually...”

Nadja listened intently and nodded.

“You are right. They need a territory big enough so they will not smell or hear humans or another of their kind. They live by themselves and only seek others for mating.” She looked down at Pain. “He is broken. I broke him.”

When she saw the frown on the men's faces, she explained.

“He was small when I found him. I came upon him in the plains in the South and I got too close. I saw his mother approach and so I retreated, knowing she would defend her offspring. But I had been too close already and she no longer accepted her cub as her own. He was abandoned and I took him with me, or he would have died.” She gently brushed across the face of her pet. “He cannot survive on his own. His mates do not recognize him as one of them, and his hearing and sense for smell have deteriorated because he lives among humans. He is helpless because of me.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, thinking by himself that something with claws and teeth this big and sharp could hardly be called helpless, but maybe things were different in Siberia.

Remus was quiet and seemed to want to ask a question. He hummed and hawed about a little. When Nadja raised an eyebrow in question, he took it as a permission to ask.

“Nadja, how come you speak English? Nobody else we've met here could.”

“I was educated at Durmstrang,” she replied and Remus looked like she'd just slapped him in the face – again. “We spoke Russian there, but we learned English, too. I am a witch, as you call it.”

She drew a wand from one of her pockets that was neither Remus's nor Sirius's and smiled when she saw their complete surprise.

“I thought Durmstrang was just for boys...” Remus stuttered, blushing. “Although, I mean, I never actually read that it was, but from what I heard...”

“No, they do take girls,” Sirius interjected. “Not many, but they do. If they come from old wizarding families and are really talented...”

“I am neither,” Nadja replied bluntly. “I was admitted in the wake of the war as a gesture of charity. My father had been unjustly imprisoned under the Grindelwald regime because he was a shaman. Years after the war, long after your Dumbledore had defeated Grindelwald, he was set free and they eventually tried to give us some kind of justice for all the losses our people had suffered and that could never be repaired. We were given back some of the land that we had lost and I was given the honour of what you call ‘proper’ education, together with a handful of others.”

“But if you are a witch,” Remus began, “Then how can you live here? You can't do magic in this place, can you?”

“No, I cannot,” she replied. “I do not care for your magic, or the world you live in. I belong to my people, even though I will never be a shaman priestess and commune with the spirits like my father. I might have learned if I had stayed and not gone to school. I am spoilt to both ways of living now. But here is my home, this is where I want to be. I help my people by talking to strangers and to the government whenever something is needed.”

Remus and Sirius fell silent and Nadja herself seemed to consider the conversation over. Looking about she gave a handful of directives to the three men that steered the boat and they slowly moved through the waters, approaching the shore again. The river was now definitely a lake, stretching wide into all directions. The mountain range, Remus noticed, was beginning to emerge behind them as an entity. They had made it through.

*

“I don't care what exactly it was we just ate, but it was the best I've ever had,” Sirius panted, dropping himself backwards onto the fur that covered the ground of the small tent they had put up – with some help from Nadja and two of her men, who quite obviously considered both him and Remus complete imbeciles. Sirius had felt a bit offended first – was it his fault he didn't usually live in the Arctic tundra? – but had quickly forgotten all about it when he'd seen pieces of meat being roasted over a fire.

“It was heaven,” Remus sighed, falling onto his back next to Sirius and breathing deeply. “I thought I was never going to be full again in my life, but now I think I could burst if I had one more bite...”

“We fucking made it through the mountains alive,” Sirius whispered, sounding almost amazed and Remus smiled as realization hit him as well.

“Yeah, we did. I'm not quite sure how, but... yeah...” he breathed quietly. Sirius glanced at him from the corner of his eyes.

“Thank Merlin you're better at transcultural communication than I am... I think if I'd have had to do half the talking, they'd have dumped our cold bodies in the lake.”

“That much is rather certain, yes,” Remus chuckled and Sirius smacked him playfully. “Well, it's true? Stop hitting me. You and your big mouth...” He caught Sirius's wrist with his hand and kept it from repeatedly smacking him. They giggled for a moment, struggling, but then fell quiet as they lay side by side, looking at the ceiling.

Sirius's voice broke the silence.

“Do you think it'll be alright now? Nadja... can we trust her?”

“I don't know. I don't think we'll have much of a choice,” Remus answered. “She's the best option we have. If there's only a small chance that she can help us get back home...”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded. “I guess you're right. And well, she's given us a small, but warm tent and food. She also hasn't tried to slit our throats yet. We're doing fantastic, all things considered.”

“I do wish we could send some message back to England,” Remus sighed. “A letter, or some other sign that we're alive. Dumbledore has to know what's going on... I... I just don't know what to do here.”

“I don't think there's much you _can_ do,” Sirius replied and rolled onto his side, hesitating before scolding himself inwardly and placing a hand on Remus's shoulder. “Really, people here don't look like they want us to interfere.”

“And if we don't and Voldemort gets his way?” Remus asked, shivering lightly at the touch of Sirius's hand. “I keep thinking that... if he sends these people into battle... then we've lost.”

Sirius swallowed hard and shook his head.

“You don't know that. We are in their own land right now. Their powers might be different elsewhere... and you've heard Nadja. They didn't trust the old Snakeface. They're not going to join him.”

“One of them has, though. And... after what I've seen, that should be enough...”

“Remus,” Sirius mumbled, shifting closer to his friend and aligning their bodies.

“She spoke to the wolf,” Remus whispered. “She wanted... she wanted the wolf.”

“Well, she's not getting the wolf,” Sirius simply stated and Remus turned his head to look at him. Sirius didn't return the gaze, but averted his eyes.

They both looked at the entrance of the tent as the leather cover began to rustle and Nadja stepped through. Moving a little apart and sitting up, the two men watched as she sat down.

“I have sent Pain to my father,” she said, simply and without any grand introduction. “He will know better than me what to do. I have asked him to come here. My aunt is moving in the north, so my friends tell me.”

“How long will it take for him to get here?” Sirius asked and she seemed to be calculating for a second.

“Pain will be with him in less than ten hours. He runs fast. I cannot tell how long my father will take to leave and come here.” She smiled when she saw the nervous hesitation in the two men's faces. “Don't worry. My father will not hurt you, I think. He usually says strangers are lucky.”

“That's good to know,” Remus replied and Nadja nodded as she got up again. Crouching in the tent, that was not quite high enough for someone to stand in it upright, she looked down at them.

“Stay here,” she ordered, not quite as bossily as she had when they had first met. “A storm is gathering in the north now. My aunt knows you are here. And oh...” Pulling their two wands from her belt, she handed them back to their owners. “I think you will want them back. Take them. They are of no use,” she said simply. “But they are yours.”

Taking back their wands, they thanked her, Sirius definitely fighting the urge to hug her just for the sake of it. Holding his wand already felt considerably better. Smiling at their visible relief, Nadja turned to leave.

“I will call for you, if anything should happen. Until then, rest. I will send someone to bring you hot water in a while, so you can wash. I must take care of a number of things now.”

With those words she left and Remus and Sirius remained, sitting next to each other on the tent floor, giddily turning their wands over between their fingers.

“It's a little uncanny just how much better I feel all of a sudden,” Remus mumbled as he placed his wand up his sleeve. Copying him, Sirius nodded.

“You're right. But then again, feeling less helpless can only be a good thing, right?”

“I suppose so,” Remus smiled and began to rummage around in his robes, frowning for a moment before he remembered that he was still wearing Sirius's. “Is James's Cloak still in my robes?” he asked and Sirius stuck a hand into one of the inner pockets.

“Yes, it's here... what's this?”

He held out a piece of leather string and Remus pressed his lips together when he saw the pointy teeth tied to it.

“It's... a necklace. She put it around my neck when she'd tied me up...”

“Oh...” Sirius quietly replied and ran his thumb across the bloodstain on one of the teeth. “Is this yours?”

“I don't think so,” Remus shook his head. “She didn't actually get to hurt me. Physically. I don't know whose blood it is. Might be hers, might be animal blood...”

Sirius pondered the necklace for a moment and then shoved it back into Remus's robes. He was thinking of something to say that would change the topic a little, but Remus was faster.

“I've been thinking,” he began, gnawing his lip. “What it is that Voldemort offered them? Nadja didn't say what it was that was so tempting for them...”

Sirius had to admit that this thought hadn't occurred to him yet. He shrugged.

“Power, I guess? I reckon he must have promised them... dunno, more land, more rights... something to keep them from dying out, I suppose.”

“Do you think Chelyuskov has anything to do with it?”

“Uh...” At this point Sirius realized to his shame that he hadn't really thought about the politician at all ever since they had arrived in Siberia. Somehow it had seemed too distant a thing to consider that someone from England could still be relevant or that their former mission had a connection to all the chaotic improvising they'd been doing.

Remus chuckled, looking like he was reading Sirius's mind too well.

Sirius blushed a deep shade of crimson. “I guess that's why Dumbledore sends me off to be cannon fodder...” he mumbled, rubbing the stubble on his chin furiously and talking into his hand.

“Aw,” Remus laughed. “It's okay. I didn't pay him any thought until earlier, either. It only came to my mind when Nadja mentioned that Voldemort had approached them. I reckoned it would maybe explain how the Portkey and Chelyuskov connect to this...”

“You think because Chelyuskov's family is from Siberia?” Sirius replied and Remus shrugged a little insecurely.

“I'm not sure. I mean, it is right that Siberia is in fact pretty fucking big. But his family fled when Grindelwald took Siberia... and we know that he did damage to the shamans here. There might be a connection. I mean, in the worst case Chelyuskov is a Death Eater. In the best case, Voldemort might have used him as a source for information.”

“Or an interpreter,” Sirius interjected and Remus nodded thoughtfully.

“I hadn't actually thought of that. But you're right...”

“Oh, am I?” Sirius teased. “Well, you'd never have guessed, huh?”

“I declare myself very impressed, indeed,” Remus retorted and bit his lip again. “We still don't know why on earth that crazy woman would think it worth to join forces with Voldemort. I mean, what does he have? They surely don't need any of his magic.”

“He could just as well have promised them something he doesn't have at all,” Sirius pointed out. “I mean, it's not like he's very concerned about sticking to his promises, is he?”

“No, that's right...” Remus began, but broke off when someone entered the tent, carrying a basin of hot water and a small bundle of linen cloths.


	11. Chapter 11

“You know, the only thing that would make this even better...”

“...are clean clothes,” Remus finished Sirius's sentence and sighed. “I know.”

Chuckling, Sirius fumbled around for his robes – his own robes – where they lay in a heap on the floor with Remus's. After a moment of searching, he pulled the rolled-up wolf fur out of one of the pockets. He spread it out on the floor and let himself more or less fall onto it.

“This is nice...” he grinned, rather to himself than anyone else and Remus rolled his eyes.

“Well, it's not a cave, that's a start,” he remarked and Sirius shook his head.

“No, I know. But this is extra nice. It's warm and I'm not hungry, and I feel at least a little cleaner than before...”

They had washed as thoroughly as had been possible under the circumstances, and it had still made a bigger difference than they'd ever have thought. The fact that they'd had to step back into their worn clothes put a slight dampener on their enthusiasm, but hadn't managed to extinguish it by far. Sirius had given shaving an attempt, using the blade that had been brought with the water and the linen and checking his reflection in the still malfunctioning two-way-mirror. He hadn't even got close to a proper shave, but only succeeded in some spots, leaving big parts of his neck stubbly. On the whole he displayed an endearing similarity to his ragged, four-legged alter ego, Remus thought.

Sirius smiled a little sleepily and wriggled about until he only occupied one half of the wolf fur, patting on the free space next to him and looking at Remus.

“Sleep? This is twice as soft...”

Remus contemplated him for a moment, not really knowing why he hesitated. It was just Sirius; they'd been sleeping on that fur for the last couple of nights, and there had been no fuss, apart from... well. The point was, creating a fuss now would only make him look like an idiot. Now that they had decided to work on their friendship and their mutual trust, refusing to sleep on the same spot as Sirius was probably not going to be of much help. How old was he, fifteen...?

“Will you stop over-analysing and just lie the fuck down?” Sirius's amused voice ripped Remus from his thoughts and he blushed. The mind-reading went both ways, all right. Sighing, he crawled over to the fur and lay down next to Sirius.

“Happy?” he mumbled and Sirius grinned, edging a little closer and placing a hand on Remus's shoulder. Remus smiled despite himself and sorted his arm out in a way that resulted in Sirius's head resting on his shoulder and his hand lying on his chest.

They dozed in silence for a couple of minutes, both lost in their own thoughts, when Sirius absent-mindedly began to draw little circles on Remus's shirt with his fingertips. The other man swallowed.

“Sirius?”

“Hm?”

“Are... we gonna talk about it?”

Sirius shifted, nuzzling Remus's shoulder just a little as he tried to find the most comfortable position to sleep. His eyes were closed.

“Now?”

Remus hesitated. “...Sometime.”

Sirius smiled. “Yeah. Sometime...” He yawned and patted Remus's chest gently.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

*

The cry of a Syrnilus outside caused Remus to open his eyes. Something seemed to be going on; people were calling to each other and commotion was audible. Taking a deep breath, Remus squinted to catch a glimpse at the mop of unkempt black hair at his chin. Soft, even breathing was touching his neck.

Neither of them was moving. Remus had slept for a while and had eventually awoken to the warmth of Sirius's body snuggled up against his side and his face buried in the crook of his neck. Remus had resisted the urge to stir, even when there had been a noticeable change in the rhythm of Sirius's breathing. Sirius hadn't spoken or even as much as shifted a finger, so neither had Remus.

“Something's going on,” Sirius eventually mumbled, his voice tickling the spot below Remus's ear.

“Yes,” he replied and for another moment they kept completely still. When Sirius moved to get up, his lips brushed briefly over Remus's skin and Remus closed his eyes for another short second before he sat up himself.

Scrambling to their feet, they ducked out of the low entrance and stepped into the daylight outside.

There was indeed some commotion; men were running about and the two wizards quickly made out Nadja, who was approaching them with her usual, determined walk.

“We have received a message from the north,” she explained, looking at the two men in turn. “I thought I had told you to stay inside.”

“Yes. Please excuse,” Remus began, but since she didn't really seem upset or annoyed, he cut the humility short. “We woke up and heard that there was noise outside. We wanted to see what was going on. How long have we slept?”

Nadja seemed to be taking a moment for calculating the time again, narrowing her eyes at the sky. What she saw there was a mystery to Sirius, who had long decided that looking at the Arctic summer sky told him about as much about the time of day as looking up his own arse.

“Maybe a bit longer than half a day,” she eventually concluded. “Pain should be with my father soon. I expect he will send notice of some kind, when his mind is made up.”

When Remus nodded politely, she continued with what appeared to be her original business.

“I was about to come and see you,” she told them. “My aunt has sent her messenger.”

She turned around and pointed at the Syrnilus whose cry Remus had heard.

“What... kind of message does she send?” Sirius asked and she looked at him.

“I do not know yet. I thought, maybe you should be present. I am certain the message will concern you.” She beckoned them to follow her and they walked over to the bird that was standing amidst the few tents that made up their camp. It looked calm and unnaturally determined; aware of its own importance.

“It is my aunt's _sirunilu_ ,” she said and Remus quietly imitated the way she pronounced the word. See-rung-ee-loo. At least he could kind of see how that had turned into 'Syrnilus'.

“How... how does it bear messages?” Sirius asked, a little confused. He had figured that it might have carried some note, similar to an owl, but that didn't appear to be the case.

“It is an invitation,” Nadja explained. “See the red salt on some of its feathers?”

They nodded. It looked like a crust at the tip of the otherwise white feathers.

“It's blood,” she continued. “They are spirit birds. Their feathers are cold as ice, but their blood is hot. It has magical abilities. A shaman can persuade the bird to shed some of its blood and it will come seeping through the feathers and freeze to salt.”

She gently brushed over the white plumage and the bird eyed her calmly as the reddish powder crumbled off and gathered in the palm of her hand. She turned to the two men and nodded at the salt.

“This enables you to see spirits, even if you are not a shaman. It connects a human with the spirit world.”

“Like a drug?” Remus asked and Nadja contemplated it.

“A bit like a drug, yes. I think people probably use it as a drug elsewhere. But shamans use it to send important messages. They will tell the message to a spirit and the spirit will pass it on to the one who uses this salt.”

“You mean, it enables you to enter the spirit world?”

Nadja shook her head.

“No. Only shamans can do this. The blood salt of this bird will make it possible for other people to feel or see spirits, or hear them. But to communicate with them, or to go on a spirit journey yourself, this is not enough.” She seemed to ponder the matter for a moment, then added, “You would need all the blood the living bird can give and even then, there is no guarantee...” She looked into his eyes. “We do not kill them. They are holy birds. Birds of the spirits.”

Remus nodded solemnly and looked at the Syrnilus that still sat there, unmoving. The purple eye that was directed at him was deep and calm and unsettlingly intelligent.

“So, what do we do with this?” Sirius eventually asked, pointing at the salt in Nadja's hand.

“I will take it and hear the spirit,” she replied. “And then we can talk while we wait for my father's message.”

With one last look at her fellow hunters she led the two away from the bustling around the tents, down towards the great lake. In the north, the mountain chain defined the horizon, and Remus couldn't help noticing the crown of dark clouds above the flat mountaintops.

They watched in silence as Nadja raised her cupped hand to her mouth and, with one strong breath, inhaled the salt in her palm. She blinked. Once. Twice.

A rasp escaped her throat and she fell to her knees.

Sirius threw a confused look at Remus and neither of them seemed sure whether to help or assist her in any way. She had dropped onto her back and lay on the ground, breathing open-mouthed and glaring at the sky, her eyes drifting off. It didn't really look like she was in pain, just very out of it.

“I'm not really sure what we're supposed to do,” Remus mumbled and Sirius shook his head. They continued to stare at her and gave a jump when something suddenly seized her body and lifted her off the ground.

She hovered in the air without letting out a sound, paralysed by something invisible.

Then a scream echoed across the lands and it was impossible to determine whether it had come from Nadja's mouth and had been thrown back by the mountains in the distance or whether it had been the other way around. The sound rang in the air for a seemingly endless minute, chilling to the bone. Then it was gone.

Silence rolled across the lake and knocked the young woman out of the air. Sirius was only just in time to catch her and prevent her from dropping to the ground. He had the distinct impression that she might have simply shattered to pieces.

Laying her onto the ground gently, he patted her cheeks, trying to wake her up. Remus watched numbly for a second, then knelt down beside Sirius in an attempt to be of some assistance.

“How do we snap her out of it?” Sirius whispered urgently. “How do you get someone off Syrnilus blood?”

“I don't know,” Remus replied, rubbing her hands. “I've only ever heard of people using the feathers. The blood... Merlin knows...”

Someone touched Remus's shoulder from behind and he turned around to look at the man behind them. He was one of the hunters, he realized, and he looked at Nadja with a solemn expression, apparently not really worried. Catching Remus's inquisitive gaze, he just shook his head as if to tell them to give it a rest.

Pushing the two Englishmen aside, he closed Nadja's eyes and sang a couple of words in his native language. Remus threw Sirius an urgent look. “Is she dead?” he mouthed and Sirius shrugged, but shook his head.

“No, she's breathing – she can't be...”

He was interrupted by a loud gasp. Eyes wide, Nadja stared up at him, then at Remus. She was breathing hard and her back arched as she sat up. The hunter beside her spoke to her, but she disregarded him.

“ _Which of you is it?_ ”

She struggled to her knees, then rose to her feet. Her eyes kept darting from one man to the other and back.

“Which one?” she demanded, staggering towards them. Instinctively, the two men moved away, shaking their heads in confusion.

“Tell me! How can you not have told me! Tell me which one of you it is!”

A slight hint of madness shone in her eyes.

“Which one of us is what?” Remus asked, still stepping back the further she advanced, raising his hands in defence.

“ _Dämo_ ,” she growled from somewhere deep within. “Which one of you is it! I know... I know one of you... the spirit of...” She seemed to struggle to say the word. A croak escaped her.

Sirius looked at Remus and watched as the other man paled when comprehension dawned on his face. Nadja didn't miss it, either.

“It is you,” she stated, pointing at him. “You are the wolf.”

Remus didn't have the strength to argue; he stumbled backwards and shook his head, not exactly in denial of the fact but rather in reluctance to acknowledge what she had said.

“Go!” she ordered, her face distorted with pain. “Go and do not leave your tent. Go!”

Her legs started to shake underneath her.

The hunter that had awoken Nadja from her stupor advanced, his eyes on Remus. For a moment it looked like he was going to attack him, but his attention was diverted when Nadja suddenly collapsed in a heap. The man sank to his knees beside her, checking her vital signs and gesturing to the other two men to leave, yelling at them with words they could not understand.

Sirius took Remus's hand and pulled him away from the scene, back towards the camp. Remus didn't seem to have any direction of his own, he blindly followed Sirius back into their tent and let himself be pushed to the ground. Sirius felt the urge to pace, but failed due to the low ceiling.

Sitting down he drummed his fingers restlessly on his crossed legs. He looked at Remus.

“So, I'm not sure if we can call this a good turn of events. What do we do now?”

Remus stared at him and blinked, apparently snapping out of his shock. He shook his head.

“I don't know. Run?”

“Big help that's gonna be,” Sirius replied. “There's nothing but marshland to the south. I mean, just look around the place – where would we possibly go?”

“I don't know,” Remus snapped, sounding slightly on edge. “But when the other option is being tied to a rack and sliced to pieces, I'd prefer the running. It worked before.”

Sirius buried his face in his hands and rubbed his temples. Focus, that was what was needed here. “We don't know for sure that this is what they want,” he began, but Remus cut him off.

“Oh, no. I'm sure after her aunt wanted to butcher me, Nadja's just dying to put me on a throne and worship me as a deity. Because that's the reaction I'm used to from people, right?”

“Remus...” Sirius pressed out, growing a little impatient. They didn't have time for hysterics right now, even if he could understand Remus to a point. He tried to emanate a certain air of calmness, but Remus was too agitated to notice or care.

“I'm a _werewolf_ , Sirius!” he snarled. “There's a reason I don't talk about it and don’t mention it. That's what happens when people find out – they decide that I should just be put down for the greater fucking good. That's not something that's gonna change!”

“Well, I won't let them!” Sirius yelled back at him, fighting the urge to jump at Remus's throat and tackle him to the ground. “I didn't last time, and I'll be damned if I do the next! They'll have to go through me if they want to butcher one of my friends. And trust me, I'm a tough nut to crack. So calm the fuck down for a just a moment so I can hear myself think!”

Remus shut his mouth, half surprised at the scolding he'd received. Sirius took a deep breath and licked his lips, running his hands through his hair. Remus swallowed, feeling some sort of rationality flood back into his system.

“Uh... thank you...”

Sirius didn't reply immediately, but just glared at him.

“You can be daft as fuck sometimes, Moony...” he eventually grumbled. His voice had calmed down and he sounded vaguely conciliatory. It was quiet for a moment, in which both men were deep in thought. Eventually Sirius shifted in his sitting position and looked at Remus.

“If it should turn out that we have to,” he started, hesitating. “We will run, okay? But... we should first figure out where. And how we're gonna go about it so we won't be caught.”

Another moment of silence passed between them.

“You know, Sirius, you don't have to...” Remus began tentatively, but before he could finish Sirius simply extended one of his legs and hit him straight in the chest, knocking the air out of him. Tumbling onto his back, Remus raised his head, hands covering the place where Sirius's foot had hit him. He was about to start shouting in protest, when he saw his friend's face and his anger died in his throat. Sirius suddenly looked furious and deep offence shone in his eyes.

“If you finish this sentence, Remus, I will slice you open myself.”

His voice was low and dangerous.

Remus swallowed and nodded. The hurt on Sirius's face made him feel more uncomfortable than he'd have expected. He watched as the other man got to his knees and crawled on top of him, pushing his head back into the ground with a rough shove. Remus groaned as pain shot through his head.

“Just so you know, Remus,” Sirius hissed above him, pronouncing every word with distinction. “I'm not staying without you. I'm not going home without you, either.” He sat up and looked down at the man underneath him. “...I really didn't think that I would have to say this.”

He moved away and scrambled to the jug of water that someone had brought to the tent while they'd been out. There were no glasses, so he simply drank from the jug.

Remus lay still on his back, feeling horrible. His heated reply that he _hadn't meant it that way at all_ had run dry somewhere halfway between his lungs and mouth. He figured it didn't matter which way he'd meant it. At some point they would need to trust each other enough to rely on the other one. Beyond the point of talking about how they were going to work at it.

“Sirius,” he whispered and turned his head. Sirius was looking at him with a mixed expression. Remus wasn't sure whether he was going to punch his nose or-

“Don't you dare leave without me,” Sirius replied and Remus shook his head. Rolling onto his side and getting onto all fours he moved over to sit beside the other man.

“I wasn't going to,” he murmured. “I didn't mean to... to... you know.”

“We're in this together, alright?” Sirius muttered. “Don't say things like that. Not even when you're trying to be... dunno, what exactly were you trying to be, anyway?”

“I don't know,” Remus shook his head. “Nice, perhaps. Considerate. I didn't want to force you into anything...”

“Well, you're an oaf,” Sirius mumbled. “Really, you are. Nice, good grief. Do me a favour and stop trying to be nice...”

Smiling softly, Remus rested a hand at the back of Sirius's neck. When the other man turned to look at him, their eyes met for a moment. Sirius shook his head with a sigh and then broke out into a smile himself, not quite being able to help it.

“Really...” he sighed with exasperation that wasn't quite serious and Remus grinned.

“In that case, Sirius Black... run away with me?”

Sirius rolled his eyes and leaned in a little.

“Fine. I'll run away with you, Remus Lupin...”

“I would not recommend it,” a third voice suddenly interrupted.

Nadja stood in the door, looking haggard and grim, but immovable like a statue of stone.


	12. Chapter 12

Remus edged backwards out of instinct when she stepped into the tent. Sirius tensed up and grimaced, looking rather like he was baring his teeth. Remus half thought that he was spending too much time as Padfoot.

Nadja halted when she saw the two men's defensive reaction and slowly sat down by the entrance.

“I do not mean to hurt you,” she stated, looking at Remus, who quite obviously didn't believe her. “You can trust me. I mean you no harm.”

“Well, we are a bit sceptical about that,” Sirius replied. “Bad experience, you see...”

Nadja eyed him intently, then shook her head.

“You understood wrong. When I said that you should have told the truth...”

“Oh, so if we'd told you the whole story, you wouldn't have tried to kill him like your aunt did, right? Wouldn't have made a difference to you at all and you'd of course still have helped us?” Sirius's voice was dripping with sarcasm and Remus couldn't help feeling touched by the fervour with which he defended his case.

Nadja's look remained hard.

“I would have known what my aunt wanted from you,” she explained stonily and Sirius's face fell a little. “It would have explained a lot that I didn't understand. I could have told my father much more in my note. Maybe his decision would have been an easier one to make.”

“Oh...” Remus quietly remarked, seeing how Sirius bit his lip at the corner of his vision. He didn't quite know what to say himself. Nadja's remark hadn't shattered his distrust, but he still felt a little stupid all of a sudden for not having considered another option at all.

It was Sirius who found words first:

“How about you fill us in, then?” he demanded. “And then we can decide whether we want to believe you?”

Remus wasn't sure for a second whether Sirius had been pushing it a little too far, but Nadja seemed to be willing to comply. She crossed her legs and nodded.

“If that is what you want. I can tell you what I know now, that I didn't know before.”

The two men nodded and sat facing her as she began to speak.

“I have to explain. My family goes back a long line of powerful shamans. For generations, my family has communed with the spirits. Now there are only three shamans left and there is nobody to follow them. The line is dying out.

“My grandfather was a great lord over the spirits. His own grandfather, they say, was the son of a shaman father and a spirit wife that his father had tamed. Their son has been known among my people over the generations as 'the wolf-tailed child'.”

Remus shifted uncomfortably and Nadja continued.

“The wolf-tailed child continued the ancient line of shamans back to the one we call 'the White' through the line of his fathers. His mother was a powerful spirit. The wolf was a great shaman during his lifetime.”

Her eyes fell onto Remus and she nodded, when she saw comprehension dawn on his face.

“My aunt,” she said, pointing at the spot below Remus's ribs where Fenrir Greyback had left his mark so many years ago, “desires the wolf you carry. The spirit that made our ancestor greater than most. I believe she hopes to bring back this power to the dying line of shaman blood in our family by taming this spirit.”

“I'm a werewolf,” Remus replied, shielding the spot of the bite mark with his hands despite the clothes he wore, “I don't _carry_ this spirit, as you say. I am infected by it. It's like a sickness! I was bitten as a child and I have been cursed.”

Nadja smiled dryly.

“Shamanism has been called a sickness. And a curse. Many shamans have been declared mad and have been imprisoned because of it. Many have truly gone mad because of that.”

“I can't control the wolf!” Remus protested. “It follows the moon, it does not listen to my call, I have no power over it – it's different!”

“You are no shaman,” Nadja stated. “The spirit listened to my aunt, did it not?”

Remus fell silent. He remembered the force that had tugged at the wolf inside, trapped by the absence of the full moon, yet awake and fighting to break free. The luring drumbeat that had spoken to it, drawn it out, increased the pain a hundredfold...

“So she wanted... she wanted...”

“She wanted your blood. She wanted to trap the spirit, make it her own,” Nadja concluded and Remus paled. His hands began to shake slightly and he had to grip his robes to steady them.

Sirius looked at him and saw the horror in his friend's face; the fear he knew too well. The terror that was to ever create another.

“Well, tough luck,” he answered Nadja in Remus's stead, covering his friend's cold hand with his own. “I have certain objections to people taking my friends against their will and trying to kill them.”

“Oh, I don't think she meant to kill him,” Nadja replied. “She needed some blood. Not all of it. Just enough to catch the spirit.”

The calmness with which she spoke left both Remus and Sirius at a loss of words. Sirius thought he sensed something like anger bubbling up inside his friend, but he squeezed his hand comfortingly. Remus took a deep breath.

They were interrupted when people outside suddenly began to yell and run about. Someone flipped the curtain at the entrance aside and stuck his head in, informing Nadja of whatever was going on. Nadja jumped to her feet and raised a hand to her head when balance failed her. She groaned, but pulled herself up nevertheless.

“The salt of spirits drains the body of energy,” she explained. “And my aunt's spirit messenger was not a kind one. I should like more rest. But we must hurry – a message from my father has arrived, it seems.”

She left the tent and Sirius nudged Remus encouragingly before scrambling to his feet and extending a hand to help the other man stand up.

Outside, the sun had disappeared behind clouds again, but it didn't look like rain this time. The grey light simply gave the landscape a bleak, dreary look, and the wind was blowing with considerable force. Sirius hugged himself and wrapped his robes tightly about himself as he followed Nadja to the gathering of hunters. Turning around to check on Remus, he saw that he was close behind him.

The hunters were staring south onto the plain, speaking to each other in low voices. When Sirius and Remus caught up with Nadja, they followed the line of her gaze and saw a faint shape in the distance. Sirius narrowed his eyes to see better.

The form of a girl was visible standing on the plain, shining white like a ghost. She stood rigid and unmoving like a statue, staring into their direction. The wind did not seem to affect her at all and she looked as surreal as an apparition, even though Sirius was fairly sure she wasn't quite that.

“What is that?” Remus asked behind him. Nadja turned to look at him.

“It is a message,” she said. “It means that it is not my father who will come.” She gazed back at the white girl in the distance. “This is the helping spirit of my uncle. We call her simply the White Girl. She is a being that has fallen from the realm of sky spirits.”

“So it's your uncle who'll come to help us?”

“Yes. But there is no reason to worry,” she smiled. “My uncle is wise. He will help.”

*

“I'm not exactly complaining,” Sirius sighed, “But I did like the reindeer better...” Stirring in his bowl of soup with average enthusiasm, he looked at Remus, who didn't seem to find anything wrong with their lunch – or dinner. Whatever the time was.

“It's fish. It's good. It could be moss, which would be a lot worse,” Remus pointed out and Sirius nodded. That was a point, for sure. He still couldn't keep the sigh in when he looked at his bowl of stew.

“What are we doing, anyway?” he asked, once again trying to distract himself from the dish he was eating. Remus shrugged.

“Wait, I guess. She told us to stay here and rest, right? I think they're putting up a tent for the uncle and want to keep us out of the way...”

“D'you think they're putting up another tent for the creepy girl?” Sirius chuckled and Remus's look bore a hint of reproach.

“I suppose not,” he scolded. “Since she's a spirit, you know. It might look a bit too much like mockery and I'm not all that sure the shaman guy would appreciate it.”

Sighing dramatically, Sirius rolled his eyes before shoving another portion of fish stew into his mouth. He pulled a face as he swallowed. “I'm beginning to think that running off might have been not so bad an option, after all...,” he joked and Remus chortled.

“It would have been swamp soup, then,” he remarked as he put his own, empty bowl down and stretched his arms. “You'd have complained about that even more...”

Sirius just closed his eyes and finished off his stew with a miserable look on his face. When he wiped his mouth, he quickly reached for the water jug, downing sizeable amounts just to get the taste of the stew out of his mouth.

“You're probably right. But still...” he lay back onto the fur and rubbed his stomach, closing his eyes. “Oh well, I guess this is preferable. All things considered. I mean, it's always a bonus that it's sort of warm and dry – and they didn't attempt to serve you for lunch, either... I guess I'd have liked that even less than the fish broth just now...”

Remus looked at him with a thoughtful expression and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. There he lay, arms crossed above his head, Sirius Black. Babbling.

He crawled over to him unnoticed, since Sirius had closed his eyes in an attempt to doze a little. Remus ran a hand over the other man's chest as he lay down beside him, snuggling up to him the way Sirius himself usually did when they slept. He could feel Sirius's surprise when he rested his head on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, smiling.

“You know, I think seeing you defend me the way you did was worth not running off.”

Sirius tilted his head slightly and squinted to catch a look at Remus, which was rather difficult considering their position. Instead he moved his arm so it slipped through under Remus's neck and wrapped around his back.

“You haven't even seen Padfoot yet. I'm much more impressive with fangs.”

“Oh, I believe that,” Remus chuckled, then hesitated. “I can't help it, though...” he mumbled, pressing his face gently into Sirius's robes. “This place... this whole land is giving me the creeps. Everything here is strange and I can't seem to get hold of it. It was okay when it was just us and the mountains, in a way. It was a matter of surviving, using whatever was there to use. I've been in similar situations elsewhere, it's always the same principle.” He took a deep breath. “But this is just... scary. Those people who... who're really powerful in a way I don't understand... and who seem to consider all the nightmares I've ever had as nothing to be concerned about... who apparently deal with them on a daily basis.”

Sirius hugged him a little closer to himself. “The way they look at them is just different. As is their way of approaching them.”

“How can they not notice the pain?” Remus asked quietly. “How can it not matter? The danger. The feeling of your mind and soul being defeated by another while you're unable to control any of it... how powerful must they be to control it?”

“They don't use magic the same way we do,” Sirius mumbled, “House Elves can do magic we can't do as wizards. Centaurs have their own kind of magic, goblins do as well... that seems normal to us too, right?”

“But those people are humans like us,” Remus interjected. “Not centaurs or goblins or elves. Nadja uses magic the way we do.”

“I reckon it might have something to do with how you learn to channel magic,” Sirius pondered. “How you first learn to go about it in your head. Who knows, everyone might have the potential to learn all kinds of magic, but can only choose one in the end?”

“You're speculating, right?” Remus chuckled and Sirius smirked.

“Well, yes. But then... if this is really the case... don't you think you could maybe learn... learn to control the wolf?”

Remus was quiet for a while, then shook his head.

“I don't think I could. I obviously don't know for sure, but... no. I do see the way you're thinking and it would make sense, but it's nothing I could see working in practice.”

“Okay,” Sirius replied quietly. “I wasn't gonna force you or anything. I just thought I'd... you know. Point it out. If there's anything good to be got out of this whole... thing... trip...”

Remus shifted his weight and moved his head just an inch back, giving Sirius enough space to turn to the side and tilt his head enough to look at him. Remus blushed a little when Sirius lifted his free hand to his face and brushed across the stubble on Remus's cheeks and chin.

“Sirius...” Remus began, but Sirius didn't hear. He was already kissing Remus, slowly rolling on top of him as he did. Straddling Remus's hips he sat crouched over him and his hands cupped the side of Remus's head and toyed with his hair.

Remus didn't react immediately, needing just a moment to get his breathing under control and adjust it to the... change of events. Slowly, he began to kiss back, eyes fluttering closed and hands coming to rest on Sirius's arm and back. He could feel how Sirius leaned in closer when he felt Remus's hands on his body.

Sirius simply revelled in the feeling of having Remus squirm underneath him. His kisses became more forceful, more intense and Remus's grip on Sirius tighter.

It wasn't until they broke apart to gasp for breath that Sirius realized that Remus was squirming with _pain_. A cold wave of terror shot down his spine when he saw the agony in Remus's eyes and felt the sharpness of his fingernails digging into his back.

“Remus?” he asked, anguish in his voice. “Remus, what's wrong?”

Remus stared at him, his jaw clenched and shaking with tension. A whimper escaped his throat and his eyes screamed at Sirius, who sat up, swallowing down the lump of rising panic in his throat.

“Remus, talk to me! What's going on?”

He gave Remus's shoulders a soft shake, but the body below him had gone rigid. Before he could do anything more, the tent around them began to move, as if shaken by a storm. No wind, no matter how strong it blew here in the plains, had affected it so far.

Trying desperately to shake Remus out of his state, Sirius bent over him, yelling his name through the storm that had gathered around them. The only response he got from Remus was a deafening scream before everything went silent.

Remus didn't move; he just blindly stared ahead, past Sirius, or through him.

Sirius had never felt this cold in his life and he helplessly looked down at his friend, desperately willing him to give a sign. Any sign that he heard him. Any sign that he was still alive.

A light in the corner of his eye caused Sirius to look up and he jumped. The White Girl was standing next to them, staring down at Remus quietly. She was bright as light and looked dead as dust. Sirius had seen Inferi, and her demeanour was frighteningly similar, even if her looks were less torn apart. She seemed to know Sirius was there, but didn't acknowledge his presence.

She tilted her head and gazed beyond the cover of the tent. Then she let out a sigh and closed her eyes as she faded away into thin air.

With a gasp, Remus arched off the ground before falling back, panting and looking about wildly. He spotted Sirius and his eyes were fixed on him for a moment, during which they both tried to get their breathing back under control. Sirius's hands were shaking like leaves in the wind as he restlessly ran them across Remus's chest.

Remus swallowed and struggled a moment to catch and cover Sirius's hands with his own. Gripping them tightly, he tried to work his voice and say something, but was distracted by the sudden appearance of Nadja beside them.

Calling back something over her shoulder, she proceeded to frantically check Remus for his vital signs, looking at his eyes and eventually sitting back on her heels with a heartfelt sigh of relief. She buried her face in her hands and took a couple of deep breaths.

Sirius scrambled off of Remus and helped him sit up.

“What was that?” he broke out and Nadja blinked, looking tired. She glanced at Remus, who was cradling his hands over his head, his breathing still ragged.

“ _Barusi_ ,” she whispered. “My aunt's strongest spirit. She sent him over the lake, to take the wolf by force... tear him away without the help of blood... she almost succeeded...”

Sirius had frozen, his hand still clasped on Remus's shoulder. It was quiet for a moment, then the entrance to the tent was opened again and someone was helped through the opening. He looked incredibly old and slumped down on the floor next to them. His eyes, however, were alert and bright.

He talked to Nadja and she answered him in their language. Then he grabbed Remus by the chin and gazed into his eyes with an expression of curious intrigue, as if he needed to verify something. Sirius shifted and looked inquiringly at Nadja, who unfortunately decided to ignore him in favour of the old man.

Eventually he let go of Remus and looked at Sirius, narrowing his eyes for a moment. Then he turned to Nadja, speaking in a low voice. Nadja looked relieved and nodded. She got up and helped the man to scramble to his knees – his _knee_ , Sirius noticed. He was missing a leg.

Calling for the man that was waiting outside, Nadja supported the old man enough for him to be assisted as he left. Then she turned around to address the two men that sat on the ground.

“The danger is gone for now. You were lucky,” she said to Remus, who didn't react. “My uncle will settle in my tent and talk to the spirits. You are welcome to join us. You shouldn't stay alone now.”


	13. Chapter 13

The old man sat in the middle of the tent, his fingers absent-mindedly tapping a drum. It was nowhere near the haunting drumbeat that the shaman woman had worked her magic with, it was much more like a soft tinkering.

“He is talking to the spirits, asking them for information,” Nadja explained quietly when Remus sat down next to her, Sirius following suit behind him. “He fought back barusi, but the spirit will come back. We need to know more.”

“The White Girl,” Sirius asked. “Did she save us? She was suddenly there...”

“My uncle sent her to help,” Nadja nodded. “She is one of his spirits and he sent her ahead so she could chase away barusi.”

“How did he arrive so quickly?” Sirius asked, suddenly realizing that not enough time had passed by far for anyone to travel the distance that had supposedly taken a Coydiary more than half a day to cover.

“A shaman has ways of travelling that is denied to others,” Nadja whispered. “It is dangerous to do, my father says. But my uncle... he has never been afraid.”

“What happened to his leg?” Remus murmured, stealing a glance at the remaining limb of the old shaman. Nadja's voice was serious, but a hint of deep respect rang in it.

“He followed malicious spirits once. They led him down a dark path, far away from this world. Many shamans would never have returned from a way so far off. My uncle returned alive, but his leg was lost to him forever.”

“Spirits led him away?” Sirius asked and Nadja turned to him.

“Spirits do not always come out of their own will, or succumb to a shaman immediately. Often they need to be tamed, or they will lead him astray. They are wild spirits.”

“Your aunt's spirit,” Remus began, not wanting to speak its name, “Is it one of those spirits?”

“This spirit is a dark one,” she said. “It is powerful and wild, but it chose my aunt. We say she is married to this spirit.”

“So that makes her wife to an evil spirit,” Sirius replied and Nadja eyed him carefully.

“Do not be tempted to think of her as evil as you know it,” she reproached him. “Spirits are not divided into good and evil. They are unbound and free between the worlds. None of them is like the other. Some show a great kindness for humans, others less. There are spirits that are malicious and many want nothing to do with this world. You cannot call them good or bad.”

Sirius nodded politely. He took the point, but in result it still didn't seem to make much difference to him whether he considered that aunt and her spirit evil or merely 'less kindly dispositioned towards humans'.

Suddenly the gentle drumming stopped and the old shaman seemed to have sunk into himself for a moment before he looked up and sought for his niece among the few people who watched him. Remus only looked around the tent now and noticed that a man of about their age and a young boy had apparently arrived with the shaman. He hadn't seen them before.

The old man began to speak and Nadja listened intently, translating for Remus and Sirius when her uncle had finished.

“Barusi has grown stronger. He has taken in many spirits and gained power. He now wants the wolf...” She looked at Remus. “But we thought this much before. What we do know now is that it will be hard to repel him again, if he returns. My aunt did not think that she would meet resistance; her attempt to seize the wolf was not as determined as it could have been. She will return and next time she will succeed. Her mind is made up.”

“What about Voldemort?” Remus asked and at the name, the old man suddenly spoke up again. His eyes were narrowed. Nadja translated.

“My aunt does not trust Voldemort any more than my uncle does. She has joined him, but the spirits say that... she follows her own motives. She wants power.”

Sirius saw Remus swallow hard.

“So... what do we do now?”

Nadja shook her head.

“My father has sent a message to your Dumbledore. We could try to bring you further south, but it would take long. Barusi will find you as long as you stay on shaman land, no matter how far or fast you move. You will still be within his reach.” She looked at her uncle. “He says he will try to contain barusi.”

“We fight?” Remus prompted and Nadja raised an eyebrow.

“If you want to call it that,” she shrugged. “We don't call it that. My uncle will try to tame the spirit and either banish him or turn him into one of his own.”

For a moment it was quiet, then Sirius frowned.

“But... didn't you say he was too strong? Barusi?”

Nadja looked at him and eventually took a deep breath.

“Yes. He is...” Her eyes rested on Remus, whose expression had turned to stone. Slowly, she added, “My uncle will need... another spirit.”

Sirius took a moment to understand what she had said and his eyes opened wide. Next to him Remus apparently had turned to stone.

“No.”

Remus's voice was cold as ice. He shook his head so slightly that it was barely visible. His jaw was clenched so tight, Sirius thought it must hurt.

“No. You can't. I won't let you.”

Sirius fought the urge to reach out for his friend, but he had the distinct impression that any kind of touch would cause Remus to jump to his feet and flee. He was breathing faster than was usual and his shoulders seemed incredibly tense.

Nadja had apparently realized that what she had said was a sensitive topic and her voice remained calm, if not less determined.

“It is the only way,” she said. “It will not kill you. He will only borrow the spirit. If you are willing, it will not kill you.”

“I don't care!” Remus replied, anger and panic in his voice. “I'd sooner get killed than... than... than pass it on! Forget it. I won't!” He looked at the shaman, who seemed to understand every word either of them had said so far. Remus bit his lip.

“Do you know what it feels like?” he snarled at the old man. “Do you think it's fun? Do you think it's a good thing? Well, it's not! You cannot ask of me to infect you! No matter how much you want it!”

Nadja's uncle didn't reply, he just continued to look at Remus out of his deep, dark eyes and a cold shiver ran down Remus's back. Hurrying to his feet he left the tent.

Outside the wind had got stronger and it was cold. Remus didn't care, he needed to get away, and fast. He hadn't walked a hundred yards, when he looked around and the endlessness of the plains ahead of him struck him. There was nothing ahead. As far as the eye could see there was nothing.

A hand on his shoulder caused him to turn around and he felt Sirius's arms sliding around him and pulling him into a tight embrace. He wrapped his own arms around his friend and for a while they just stood still.

“There's nowhere to run now,” he stated quietly and Sirius gave him a squeeze.

“We'll make it home,” Sirius replied. “Did you hear what she said? Dumbledore will find out where we are and he's gonna get us out, yeah? We just have to hang in a little bit longer...”

“How can I?” Remus asked, sounding desperate. “There's no time... did you hear what... what they want?”

Sirius gently let Remus go and looked into his eyes.

“It's alright. We can solve this. We'll get through this.”

“I couldn't live with it,” Remus pressed on, “I swore to myself I'd never – never – make another...” He couldn't quite bring himself to saying the word. “I'd sooner die than do to another what Greyback did to me. I couldn't live with the guilt, with the knowledge that somewhere someone is suffering because of me... because of what I am...”

“Shh, Remus,” Sirius soothed, wrapping his arms around him again. Resting his head on Remus's shoulder, he spoke softly into his ear.

“I know.” He ran a hand through Remus's hair and felt a little relieved to sense Remus relaxing, if just a tiny little bit. “I know...” He pressed a small kiss to Remus's neck. “They don't know what it means to you... they don't understand it. It's gonna be alright...”

Mumbling words and phrases of comfort into Remus's ear, Sirius continued to hold him, his thoughts running wild. Nadja's urgent whisper before he'd run after his friend echoed in his mind.

“How can I get them to see?” Remus croaked, sounding defeated. “I just can't... I can't...”

“It doesn't mean to them what it means to you,” Sirius murmured. He hesitated just a second. “Maybe... maybe it wouldn't mean the same, if...”

Remus froze in his embrace. Sirius swallowed hard, refusing to let go when Remus tried to get away.

“No, listen. Please, listen. Remus... I know you don't want to... I know you'd never condemn another person willingly, and I know you would never forgive yourself if you did it accidentally...” Remus struggled, but Sirius's grip was tight. “But this is... this is different. He asks you to do him a favour. He wants it, Remus... to him it won't be a curse...”

“Let me go!” Remus suddenly shoved Sirius away with so much force that Sirius almost fell. “How can you say that! How can you... possibly suggest what you just did! I thought you were... I thought you were on my side!”

Remus's voice was a hurtful roar and Sirius was frantically looking for words, shaking his head vehemently.

“Remus, I didn't... Remus, I am on your side, but...”

“Do you know what it's like?” Remus interrupted. “Can you imagine what it feels like to have the most painful part of your soul ripped out from the depths? It's not like stepping back and just letting the wolf off the leash for a while, Sirius. The wolf's not a bloody dog! _It's hell_! It's pain beyond anything you could imagine. I don't share quarters with the fucking wolf, Sirius, I _am_ the wolf! It's a part of me, it's grown into me. I can't separate myself from it or simply ignore it. It's a fight. It's pain... DIDN'T YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED?”

He voice broke and Sirius could see the fear that mixed with the anger in Remus's eyes. Shaking his head, he felt sorrier than ever before. Wetting his lips, he desperately tried to find something to reply. The memory of Remus's dying, writhing body underneath him earlier flashed back to his mind over and over again. His utter helplessness and the gut-wrenching fear of losing him tied a rope around his throat.

“Remus, I...” he broke out.

“Get away from me,” Remus whispered, taking a step back when Sirius looked like he was going to try and touch him. “Just leave me alone.”

“Remus...” Sirius repeated and stepped up to him, cupping his face with both his hands and pulling him close. “Remus, don't... don't...”

His fingertips softly pressed Remus's cheeks and his eyes helplessly bore into the other man's face, pleading quietly. Their eyes locked for a moment. Sirius swallowed and his lips twitched ever so slightly, when his gaze darted towards Remus's lips.

Remus took a deep breath and his voice was cold.

“Are you going to persuade me now? Just how far are you gonna go to get me to agree?”

Sirius's eyes widened and he immediately let go of Remus as if he'd been stung. Stumbling back, he raised his hands in defence. His expression was utterly desolate.

“Forgive me,” he breathed, swallowing hard and shaking his head. His lips were quivering and he pressed them together as he turned away, returning to the tents. Remus stood looking after him, unmoving in the cold wind.

Sirius marched through the swampy plain back to the tents, hugging himself and taking deep breaths. He blinked against the cold air and tried to direct his thoughts somewhere that didn't hurt. They were in mortal peril at all times because of an evil spirit and Remus had lost faith in him. It felt a lot like they'd finally hit rock bottom.

He frantically sought for another option that they hadn't considered yet. He shook his arm and gripped his wand as it slid down his sleeve, hoping that a genius idea would come to him. Anything to get them out of Siberia. Or away from here.

Anything to undo what he'd just done and get Remus to trust him again.

He had reached the tents and nothing at all had come to him as the genius idea that would save them all. He spotted Nadja and walked over to her.

Looking past him into the plain, she furrowed her brow. “He should not be alone. It's dangerous.”

“He needs to be alone,” Sirius explained, looking back at Remus, who apparently hadn't moved at all. “I think he needs some time.”

“If he refuses to do it, we have no way of protecting either of you,” she remarked and Sirius threw her a pondering look.

“He will do it,” he replied quietly. “I know him. He will do it... in the end.”

A slow smile spread across Nadja's face.

“My uncle spoke quite remarkable things of you,” she said, scanning the sky with her eyes. Sirius raised an eyebrow in question and she continued. “You do not carry a spirit yourself. But your soul is... different. You do know you carry the name of a star?”

“Yeah, I know that,” Sirius answered, trying to find out what she was looking for between the clouds. “Most of my family are named after stars.”

“Are their souls as remarkable as yours?” Nadja inquired curiously and Sirius pulled a face.

“I'm not quite sure what you mean by that... I don't know...”

“The star that is your name,” Nadja explained. “You are connected to its spirit. The four-legged hunter in the night sky.”

Sirius shrugged in an as he hoped nondescript way. “I never thought of it that way.” If she was referring to Padfoot, he didn't feel like denying or confirming it. He gazed at the sky and finally spotted what she had been looking for – a Syrnilus that dove out of the clouds, swooping down at them at incredible speed. It had almost hit the ground when it spread its wings and caught its own fall, gracefully landing close to where they stood. It approached Nadja and she beckoned Sirius to follow her into one of the bigger tents. Inside, the small boy Sirius had seen before was sorting through what looked like ceremonial garments. He greeted them and Nadja smiled at him.

“This is my uncle's pupil,” she explained to Sirius. “My uncle wants to make him a shaman and keep the line alive through him.”

“And who is the other man that came with them?” Sirius asked, intrigued by the strange things he saw scattered on the floor. He jumped lightly when the Syrnilus from outside suddenly stepped past him and settled in a corner. Nobody else seemed to be fazed by it.

“He is my cousin,” Nadja explained. “He assists my uncle with some of his seances, but he is not going to be a shaman himself. He does not have the gift.”

She was setting down water and food by the Syrnilus and exchanged a couple of words with the boy, who laughed and nodded before he got up and left the tent. Nadja smiled after him for a moment and then began to busy herself with the contents of the leather bag that the child had previously been occupied with.

“Is this your uncle's... uhm... costume? How do you say?” he asked and Nadja nodded.

“Yes. One of his costumes. It was handed down to him by his father, my grandfather. He was a powerful shaman, as I have told you.”

Sirius smiled and looked at the symbols and the intricate ornaments and accessories that belonged to the coat.

“What does it mean?” he asked and Nadja broadened out the coat on the floor, putting aside all kinds of ornamented jewellery and adornments, as well as a drum with a painted leather membrane.

“It is the costume of the Upper World,” she said. “My uncle can transcend into the world of the sky spirits with it; the sun, moon and stars and all their spirits. It is the highest form of shamanism; it is going beyond the world of living things into the world of eternity.”

“Your grandfather must have been very skilled to obtain such power,” Sirius remarked. “And so must your uncle.”

“They both are,” Nadja nodded, smiling to herself. “My grandfather was regarded as highly as any shaman ever was. He was given three drums and three costumes by the spirits. One for the birth of new things, one for the world beyond death and one for the world of eternity. This is the one.” She pointed at the costume before them. “My grandfather was a lord of all three of them. It was he who repelled Grindelwald when he first came to our lands – before he brought destruction to our family. Grindelwald could not defeat my grandfather, so in the end he chose a path of theft and cowardice to get what he could not get otherwise and have his revenge. And now all we once were is almost dead.” Bitterness rang in her voice and Sirius nodded solemnly, a bit clueless about what to say.

The young woman simply folded the cloak away and began to sort out the headgear, necklaces and other parts of the ceremonial suit. She placed the drum next to the rest and got up.

“Everything is ready,” she said. “All that is missing is your friend. If he does not help us, we cannot help you. My aunt will sooner or later take the wolf.”

“He will be here,” Sirius replied quietly and added, more to himself. “He might not ever speak to me again, but he'll be here. I know he will.”

When he stepped outside, he spotted Remus not far off, standing before the old shaman. The two men looked at each other and even though not a word was spoken, they seemed to understand one another. When Sirius and Nadja stepped over to them, Remus only looked at his friend for a fleeting second before turning to Nadja to translate.


	14. Chapter 14

They had moved to an open space outside and sat in a circle around the fire that had been lit. The shaman had begun a soft drumming rhythm and his audience, except for Remus and Sirius, was repeating the low sing-song he spoke.

The air around them seemed to be sizzling and the wind appeared to go into all directions at once, yet nowhere at all. Sirius ignored the strands of hair that were dancing in front of his face and tickled his nose. He sat up straight, gazing at the shaman, who sat with his back towards the north and the black clouds that arose from the mountain range in the distance behind him. It was quite obvious that they were well visible to the ones that watched them.

Remus didn't react to anything around him; he stared ahead, through the flame, at the shaman, who continued to drum. Sirius could see how his jaw clenched and his features turned to stone. He was in pain. His breathing became so controlled, it was only with force that air reached his lungs at all.

Yet he sat completely still.

From the nervous twitching of the muscles at the back of Remus's neck Sirius could tell the wolf had awoken. A quiet gasp escaped Remus's throat and he pressed his lips together even more tightly. His fingers dug into where his hands rested on the knees of his crossed legs. The white of his eyes slowly turned red as the image of the full moon suddenly flashed in the big fire in the middle of the circle.

Sirius felt a cold shiver down his back. The hair at his neck stood on end.

The son of the shaman got up and stepped across the small distance across the circle, past the fire, to Remus.

“Kam,” he said and raised a small dagger. Remus didn't move and the man had to unclasp the fingers of Remus's right hand before he could raise his arm up. The sleeve was rolled back already, the muscles under the skin tense.

The blade flashed once and for a second nothing happened.

It seemed to Sirius that he had to blink before the red blood began to seep out of the invisible cut across Remus's lower arm, a fair deal above his wrist, but still bleeding heavily enough to wrench one's gut.

The old shaman had risen from the ground – without the help of his leg, Sirius realized, and his voice had become louder, more intense. It seemed to rattle and echo in Sirius's very bones. Yet he couldn't take his eyes off of Remus.

The wolf was squirming, as trapped inside the human body as ever, but raging as if taunted by the drumbeat, teased and lured by the haunting rhythm to come out and play.

Remus had unfrozen and was now panting hard; his gaze still fixed on the man hovering in the air behind the fire that separated them, but his body seemingly wide awake and writhing subtly with every breath.

Blood was dripping from his arm onto the earth beneath and the shaman's son stepped up to Remus again to catch some of it on the blade of the knife in his hand. He then turned around to face his father and walked over to the fire, cutting through the flame with the blade, slicing the flashing image of the full moon that suddenly reappeared.

A cloud of red smoke rose from the fire that took swirling forms and seemed to be drawn towards the drum of the shaman, gathering in circles around it. The drumbeat animated the smoke, drawing them in spiralling forms until they disappeared under the shaman's drumming hands.

Remus, or rather the wolf, let out a howl that rang through every one of Sirius's fibres. A storm broke loose and when the fire suddenly died and went up in a huge cloud of grey smoke and ashes, Remus collapsed.

It didn't take Sirius three seconds to kneel by his side and check if he was alright, but Nadja's calming voice beside him told him that Remus was going to be okay.

“He has fainted. My uncle caught the spirit of the wolf. It worked.”

Looking around, Sirius noticed that the shaman had disappeared. The wind was still howling in his eyes and he leaned over Remus to protect him from the whirls of sand and earth flying around them. The other man didn't seem to notice any of it, but lay motionless on the ground. Blood was still dripping from his arm and Sirius tried to examine the cut, see if it was deep. He looked at Nadja and was about to suggest that they bring Remus somewhere and tend to the wound, but she was distracted.

Suddenly the winds around them gathered in one spot, creating a pillar of whirling earth and smoke. Sirius stared, half in wonder, half in shock, how the storm died down and took the form of the old shaman, whose bloody hands were still drumming, this time a rhythm that appeared to bring all things around them to rest. The wind lessened, the dust settled and the rush of blood to Sirius's head ebbed away. Remus grew heavy in his arms.

The shaman sank to the ground and a moment later he seemed a very old man. Then he looked up and addressed his son, who nodded and handed him the bloody knife. Pricking his on skin with the blade, the shaman made sure to mix Remus's blood with his own before wiping the flat side of the blade clean on the membrane of his drum. The bloodstains lingered for a moment, then disappeared.

“We should take him inside,” Nadja's voice suddenly reached Sirius's ears and he nodded hurriedly, scrambling to his feet without letting go of Remus's unconscious form. Gathering all his strength to carry his friend into the next tent, Sirius found himself hoping that it would be over now. That Remus had done all the suffering he had to for them to get home.

He put the other man down on a temporary bedstead made from furs and sticks of wood and wouldn't move aside when someone approached with a small bowl of water and a piece of cloth. He took both things from the other man's hands and turned to Remus, examining the cut on his arm and wiping it clean with the small piece of linen that turned a pale shade of pinkish-brown as it soaked up the blood.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius could see Nadja, who watched him wordlessly.

“I will do this,” he told her, doing his best to keep his voice steady and calm. “He did it for me... I want to do this... and unless it's anything urgent, I want to do this alone.”

Nadja nodded.

“I think that is alright. Call for someone when he wakes up. He should be sleeping for a while, but he will be hungry when he wakes up. Are you hungry?”

“No.”

Sirius couldn't muster up the patience to thank her; he just wanted her gone. Nadja nodded politely and then left, giving instructions to the people outside. The leather curtain fell shut and Sirius was alone.

He swallowed and blinked as he continued to wipe the blood off Remus's arm, grabbing a piece of clean, dry linen and wrapping it over the cut that was only bleeding a little by the time he was done. Gently, he laid down the limp arm beside his friend's body.

Resting his head in his hands, he took a deep breath and fought back the shakiness inside of him. Crying was really not the thing to do in such a moment and he rubbed away the burning feeling in his eyes and focused on breathing slowly and deeply until the tightness in his throat had passed.

He transformed into Padfoot and sat by the bed, thankful for his dog hearing as he listened intently for anything out of the ordinary.

Things outside apparently had gone back to normal, and on the whole it was rather quiet. Some people were walking about and talking, but they kept the noise level down. Sirius wasn't sure whether that was because of Remus or because of the shaman, who might have wanted his peace as well. He guessed that it was probably the latter.

Rolled up on the floor he waited for what might have been hours. He didn't know at which point Remus woke up. The man only caught the dog's attention when he shifted his legs and his robes made a rustling sound. Padfoot's head jerked up and he got to his feet.

Remus lay still on the bedstead, staring at the ceiling. A wet line ran from the corners of his eyes down across his temples and got lost in his hair. He didn't utter a sound.

Nudging him softly with his nose, Padfoot began to lick his face, tasting the salt of the tears on his tongue. It took Remus a moment to react and turn his head away. Sirius's heart sank when he saw Remus sit up and cradle his hands over his head. He looked like he had rapidly aged a decade and Sirius wasn't sure whether his eyes were playing tricks on him, when he thought he saw a number of grey streaks in Remus's hair.

As noiselessly as possible he walked over to the entrance and transformed back into Sirius before he stepped outside and looked around for Nadja. She was nowhere to be seen, but a man not far off had apparently been waiting for a sign from either of the two foreigners. He got up and began to scoop some kind of broth out of a big bowl on a nearby fire into a smaller one. Sirius thanked the man with a smile and a nod when he brought it over and handed it to him.

He went back inside, sat down by the bed and offered the bowl to Remus, who took it without a word and stirred around in it without much appetite. Sirius didn't quite know how to address him, whether to address him at all – and what to say to begin with. Remus hadn't spoken to him since their argument outside the settlement and Sirius felt awkward to sit next to him as worried as he was and yet not know whether Remus even wanted him there.

Having eaten a couple of bites, Remus set down the bowl and shoved it over to Sirius, who sniffed at the contents and eventually had a bite himself. He was no fan of broths, stews or soup and this tasted remarkably much like swamp. Putting the bowl down, he dared to sneak a glance at Remus.

“How do you feel?”

“Splendid.”

Sirius bit his lip and returned to staring at his feet. They sat for a while, not looking at each other or talking, merely staring into nothingness. The tent around them seemed to grow cold and dark and Sirius couldn't suppress a shiver.

Nadja's arrival interrupted their silence. She looked worried.

“You should come with me. Night is falling.”

Wordlessly they got up and followed her outside, where, for the first time since they had arrived, the sky was darkening, but in a way that looked certainly not natural. Clouds of a dark grey colour covered the sky and Sirius saw how they blackened above the mountain range to the north. The point where the river divided the rocks looked like a passage into absolute darkness.

“We have no time to lose,” Nadja explained and led them to a circle in which the old shaman sat facing north, “Barusi has been joined by a coiling spirit. It gathers strength.”

“Sounds like something old Snakeface would get up to,” Sirius sighed and stood beside Remus, who appeared to be listening to what the shaman sang.

“So what will we do?” he asked and Nadja nodded towards her uncle.

“He will enter the spirit world and call on barusi. With the help of the wolf he should be able to tame the spirit and force him into obedience. My aunt will lose her helping spirit and she will no longer have any power your dark lord is interested in. He will leave our people alone for good. We do not want him.”

The shaman's voice rose and Nadja looked at the dark horizon. Clouds slithered across the sky towards them. She shuddered.

“My father says that your Lord Voldemort is an unwhole soul. To my people, it is the one form of evil we know.” She looked at the two. “Our magic is of the souls inside us. A shaman has many souls and the spirits give them the power to travel the worlds beyond. But your lord... he does not even have one single whole soul.”

“He is not our lord,” Remus replied curtly.

“He is not ours; that makes him yours to the eyes of my people,” she retorted stubbornly and Remus clenched his jaw. Sirius bit his tongue as they stood watching the scene. Nadja disappeared into the tent of the shaman for a moment and returned, cupping familiar red salt in the palm of her hand.

“I will keep an eye on what happens,” she told Remus, a weird smile on her face. She looked nervous and tense. Sirius didn't take this as a good sign and stepped closer to Remus, fighting the urge to touch him, take his hand or... anything, really. Being ignored was the hard part.

The incantations took much longer than the time before. But when the air began to buzz around them and Sirius felt as if the entire world was coming to life, he realized that this was something bigger than the first ritual.

The sky was still overhung with black clouds and it was pitch dark now, except for the burning fire in front of the shaman, but the air itself seemed to breathe. Sirius was caught in a sensation of momentousness that seemed utterly childish, yet undeniably real. His mouth was completely dry and he had to look down to make sure his feet were still touching the ground.

Bolts of lightning shot through the sky; the clouds over the lake were on fire. Voices were echoing through the empty plains and across the water.

The shaman rose from his seat and walked towards the flame, supported by what Sirius could only guess at. Not only did he seem to have two healthy legs and moved like a much younger man, his feet no longer touched the ground. Moving through the air, he began to fade from view and Remus fell to his knees.

“The spirits take flight,” Nadja whispered, gazing out onto the lake, her eyes glassy with the Syrnilus salt. “Barusi is approaching...”

Remus was completely still and looked like a puppet that was only kept upright by strings. He was breathing, but his eyes were empty and stared ahead, beyond the world in front of him.

“He is on a spirit journey,” Nadja remarked absent-mindedly. “The wolf is running with my uncle. With the White Girl.”

Thunder exploded from the air above the lake; what looked like a shower of stars fell to the water and caused it to rise in fountains. Dark clouds coiled around the pillars of water and Sirius thought he could see the eyes of a ghostly snake. The ground beneath them began to shake and a great storm rose again.

Sirius knelt down beside Remus and tried to read in his face. The veins at his temples were pounding, his pulse was racing, yet no expression was visible in his features. Sirius thought he was staring at a void where Remus had once been and he had to run his fingers across his cheeks to make sure he was still there. That some part of him was still there.

Remus's skin was waxen and cold and his breath shallow and faint. His hair was definitely greying now and lines of age appeared around his eyes. Hanging down at his sides, his arms began to twitch and his fingers scratched at the ground beneath, as if trying to hold on to it. His body began to rise upwards and his eyelids fluttered.

“What's happening?” Sirius asked, grabbing both of Remus's hands and holding them tight as cracks appeared in the earth beneath. He scrambled to his feet when Remus continued to be pulled up into the air. Panic shot through Sirius and he desperately clung to Remus's limp arms, yelling. “What's happening? Remus, stay with me!”

Nadja had trouble speaking. Her own breathing had become irregular and she obviously struggled to tear herself from the spirit world long enough to speak to Sirius by her side.

“The unwhole soul... the coiling spirit... it's fighting the wolf.” She swallowed. “The coil cannot die.”

“What?” Sirius wished she would make more sense, wished he could see for himself, wished he could do something, anything to help. Anything to make sure Remus was okay.

“It cannot die, it does not die, although it should. It is not part of the living world,” Nadja replied, her eyes dazed. “It has ripped apart the fabric of the sky and the Upper World... it has opened the void...”

“What does that mean?” Sirius cried, feeling how his own feet began to be lifted off the ground. Something wet ran over his hand and he saw that the cut on Remus's arm was bleeding again. 

Sirius's own fingers were glistening dark red and beginning to slide down.

With a jerk, Remus was propelled upward into the dark sky and hovered above their heads, his face turned towards the explosions of sky and earth between them and the mountains.

“Death,” Nadja whispered. “The spirit of death has awoken... and it has opened the path to the Under World.”

Sirius thought his heart stopped for a moment. The storm howled in his ears and he could only make out bits of Nadja's distant voice.

“...white girl... down a dark path... moon... astray...”

“REMUS!” Sirius cried towards the sky almost hysterically and he saw his friend hanging in the air, his robes billowing around him as he writhed in the storm.

Suddenly he began to fall as if all the ropes that had held him had snapped.

There was no way Sirius could catch him and he knew it. He threw himself blindly between Remus and the ground, trying to slow his fall in whatever way he could. The sudden weight on his body knocked the air out of him and pain shot through his muscles and bones.

“Remus! Say something, please... do something...” he babbled mindlessly as he struggled to get out from under the fallen man, turned him around and took him into his arms like a child. “Just say something... tell me you can hear me... tell me you're here... come on, Remus... you can't... you can't...”

He looked up helplessly at Nadja, who regarded Remus with a distant look.

“His spirit is being ripped from his body,” she said, her voice even. “He is connected to the wolf... and the wolf is being drawn into the Under World...” When she saw Sirius's helpless face, she shook her head. “He is dying.”

“Help him!” Sirius cried, hugging Remus to himself. “For fuck's sake, you have to do something!”

“There is nothing we can do,” Nadja replied and her voice sounded cold all of a sudden. “The power to transcend into the Under World was stolen from us by Grindelwald. We never got it back. Your friend will die.”

“HE TRUSTED YOU!” Sirius yelled, roaring like a madman. “HE TRUSTED YOU AND YOU KILLED HIM! BRING HIM BACK! GIVE HIM BACK TO ME!”

Nadja took a step back when Sirius looked like he was going to jump at her throat and rip her apart in his rage.

“You brought this war to us.” She said, a hint of sadness in her voice. “This is the sacrifice you will bring. We have brought a thousand times the sacrifice of yours.”

“I DON'T CARE!” Sirius raged. “BRING HIM BACK!”

“I can't,” Nadja replied simply. “Nobody can. The spirit of death will take him along with the wolf and the White Girl... and my uncle. They will walk down the path of darkness until the void is filled and the spirit of death is at peace.”

She pulled a small knife from her belt and took a step towards Remus.

“DON'T YOU DARE!” Sirius screamed and put himself in front of Remus. He pulled his wand and pointed it at her. “I don't care if I have to stab your heart with it. If you take one step closer, I will kill you. I swear, I will kill you.”

Nadja lowered her knife and shook her head.

“His soul is lost. He will die. It is inevitable.”

“I don't care,” Sirius whispered, his voice hoarse. “You will not touch him.”

Raising both her hands as a sign of defeat, she stepped back. Never letting her out of his side, Sirius took hold of Remus's lifeless body and dragged him away, not quite knowing where to go, but unwilling to let anyone get in his way.


	15. Chapter 15

They stumbled into the shaman's tent and Sirius snarled at the small boy who was huddled in a corner. The child ran off, and Sirius put Remus down on the ground, leaning over him and struggling to form coherent thoughts among the naked panic he felt.

“Come on, Remus,” he pleaded, cupping Remus's face with both hands and noticing in terror that Remus's skin had begun to turn cold. “Please, Remus, please... Please breathe... please look at me...”

Desperately running his hands down Remus's heavy limbs, he tried to rub some life back into his dying body. He felt a faint heartbeat, but it was slow and reluctant. The last sparks of life in the greenish eyes were fading.

Sobbing and half mad, Sirius forced himself to think. There had to be something. Just a small shred of hope. Some way of bringing the spirit back into his body, if it was still somewhere out there...

Outside, waves of thunder were rolling, shaking the tent's frame.

Sirius looked about the small room and scrambled around in the heap of feathers, garments and ornamental pieces that he didn't know the use for, looking for something that could help. Anything. Eventually, he spotted the white bird that sat in a corner and eyed him with a calm expression while he slowly lost his mind. Stumbling towards the Syrnilus, Sirius prayed for what he knew he wouldn't find – just a hint of red salt on the white plumage.

“Come on... just a tiny bit... let me save him... please let me save him,” he pleaded, but the bird showed no reaction. It didn't seem affected by the chaos that was raging outside, the storm that threw various objects against the leather cover of the tent.

Sirius sat back on his heels and furiously wiped away the tears that fell down his face.

“Tell me how I can save him...” he whispered, his voice hoarse from all the yelling he'd done.

He turned around and looked at Remus's motionless form, a last, desperate thought forming in his head. Crawling up next to him, he began to frantically search Remus's pockets until he had found the two things he'd been looking for.

“Don't die, please don't die,” he whispered and pressed a pleading kiss onto Remus's lips as he spread the Invisibility Cloak over his limp body. Whatever happened to him, Nadja would not lay a hand on Remus.

Grabbing the necklace, he swiftly stepped over to the Syrnilus and dried his tears. He wrapped a hand around the slender, long neck of the bird and swallowed hard as he looked into its deep purple eyes.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered as he forced the three longest teeth into the bird's throat and chest. Flapping its wings in a final sign of struggle, the Syrnilus let out a low cry and blood began to flow hot over the snowy feathers, covering Sirius's hands and dripping down his robes.

Sirius's vision turned white with a flash and he felt like something grabbed him and ripped him out of his body and up into the air.

 

_When his sight returned, all he saw was colours in the darkness, strange lights and forms dancing on a seemingly endless plain ahead of him. He was nothing but strange light and colours himself. The physical world around him had disappeared._

_Looking around for something familiar that he could orient himself by, he felt a gentle force dragging him away towards what looked like a vortex in the distance._

_The void._

_Remus. He had to find Remus._

_Running, floating mindlessly towards the vortex ahead, he could feel himself taking up speed with the force that already drew him into the direction and he let himself be swept off._

_Colours flew by and he thought he heard voices, whispers somewhere. The shadow of an eagle overtook him and he set after it when he saw the light of the White Girl in the distance ahead. The wolf had run with her, he had to be with her. Remus had to be there._

_Calling out Remus's name into the worlds of spirits, Sirius felt as if he was flying, yet standing still. Anything that was connected to physical motion escaped definition or logic. The void came closer and closer, but the White Girl seemed to remain at the same distance as ever._

_Forms and shapes appeared in front of Sirius as he passed the outer edge of the vortex. A black creature on one leg rose in front of him and looked at him with its one eye as he passed through it. It looked familiar, or rather, felt familiar and Sirius wondered whether that was what barusi looked like when he took shape. Before he could look a second time, the spirit had gone._

_Sirius slowed down in his running and tried to come to a halt, realizing that his own strength was dwindling, while the current towards the vortex grew stronger. He was still moving towards it, no matter how hard he tried to work against the dragging force._

_He looked around and tried to find Remus in the suddenly appearing crowd of spirits. The eagle he had seen was still soaring overhead, a bear was roaring somewhere. Sirius saw a reindeer stag galloping on eight legs. Remus was nowhere to be seen._

_Sirius spotted the White Girl, who looked at him with a riddled look, and he wanted to call out to her, ask her where the wolf was. But she turned around and suddenly faded to black._

_“Wait!” he called out, his own voice ringing strange in his mind, and made to set after her, but realization hit him that_ this was it. _She had gone, left the world from which there could be a return. She had stepped into the void and there would be no coming back from there._

_Everyone around him was drawn to it – including himself._

_Sirius became aware of how far the force had dragged and pulled him towards the bottom of the vortex, the final gate. Ahead of him, lights of spirits flashed once more before they too faded and disappeared._

_He looked around and once again searched frantically for a sign of the one spirit among the many. Just a sign, just a small sign. Let him not have gone... not without me._

_Strength began to fail him as he continued to resist the current in search for a familiar face. His connection to the physical world faded and the centre of the vortex shifted closer and closer._

_Sirius tried to close his eyes and mind and shut out what was happening. The force on his being became sheer unbearable until, suddenly, it was gone._

 

Thunder and the howling of the storm broke upon him like a wave and Sirius thought he was going to scream with pain, but he found he could not. He could not breathe, not scream, hardly think. Struggling to move, to free himself from the sheer physicality of the state he was in, he tried to move and suddenly realized he had a body to move.

The confinement, the trapped feeling he had felt was that of a body. A body that hurt, felt cold and sore and indescribably exhausted and drained.

A body that was being held and kissed with so much force, it knocked the breath out of him.

He opened his eyes just a tiny bit and tears began to pour down his cheeks before he could stop them, before he had even realized why. Gasping for breath, he tasted the salt and the water on his lips and felt the wetness of the pair of lips that kissed them away.

Blindly, he grabbed for anything that his bloodstained hands could find in his state of shock. He clasped at fabric, terrified of letting go, sobbing like a child. He was not alone. A pair of arms was wrapped around him and pressed him close under the half-transparent cover that was draped over the both of them. Lips were kissing his own with a wordless need, over and over again.

The world outside the tent seemed to be exploding, and screams echoed through the raging storm. A couple of loose white feathers flew through the air as the wind outside came whistling through cracks and small openings in the leather coverings. The earth beneath them was shaking and cracking as thunder cracked through the sky.

“I thought I'd lost you,” Remus broke out, tears streaming down his face as he held Sirius like he was clinging to life itself. “I thought... I thought...”

“I couldn't find you,” Sirius sobbed, wrapping an arm around Remus's neck and sliding the hood of the Invisibility Cloak off the both of them. “You weren't there...”

Remus was half laughing, half sobbing when he kissed Sirius again. Sirius buried both his hands in Remus's hair and surrendered to the feeling of incredulous relief that spread from his stomach throughout his body, almost reluctantly. This had to be real.

“But how?” he murmured, when they broke apart. He nuzzled the side of Remus's face and ran his parted lips across the blood and dirt, lost in the sensation of the stubbly feeling of Remus's beard and Remus's smell and taste underneath it all. “How did you...?”

“I don't know,” Remus murmured, kissing Sirius's temple and hugging him tight. “I suddenly came back... and I saw you and the blood... so much blood...”

“I killed the bird,” Sirius croaked. “I thought I could... maybe find you and... and bring you back... I couldn't... I couldn't watch...”

He fell quiet and for a moment they simply lay in each other's arms, drying their tears and trying to breathe through the relief that broke out of them in gasps.

When the last sob shook Sirius's body, he realized how all noise seemed to have died around them. Only the distant sound of the wind outside was audible. The stillness was discomforting despite the joy they felt. A distant, faint voice reached their ears and Sirius's eyes opened wide.

“James?” he yelled and fumbled in his pockets, pulling out the two-way-mirror after a couple of moments that he spent looking for it.

“JAMES!” he shouted at the mirror, eyes wide when James's voice replied, shouting Sirius's name back at him. The connection was faint, but it was there. That meant...

“Magic's back!” Remus breathed, raising his wand not a second too soon.

The tent around them was suddenly uprooted and the pieces of leather that had been used to cover it were blown away.

“Protego!” Remus cried and the red light was deflected before it could hit either of them. Half a blink later Sirius had thrown a curse back into the direction the first one had come from.

Looking around he saw that the former camp was now a burning heap of ashes. The tents were destroyed and their parts lying scattered on the ground along with all kinds of items the hunters had used. None of them could be seen anywhere. The place looked deserted, except for the cloaked figures that suddenly became visible among all the smoke and whirling dust.

“Death Eaters! Fuckers are coming to play, after all...” Sirius hissed and turned to stand back to back with Remus as they scanned their surroundings.

“Watch out!”

Sirius dodged a nasty hex and looked around at the circle of six Death Eaters that were about to close in on them. Malfoy had asked for reinforcements.

“Is it bad that this still feels more comfortable than anything else we've had to put up with lately?” he pressed out and thought he heard Remus chuckle over the sizzling of the Stunning spell he cast.

“Still no Unforgivables, huh?” Remus muttered, when he just so shielded off a Slashing hex that came flying at him while he stowed James's Cloak away again.

“No, but I still think this is going to get tight really soon,” Sirius replied, pushing Remus to the side as another curse was hurled their way.

“Right, so what do we do?”

Sirius's Stunning spell hit one of the Death Eaters square in the chest, and he grabbed Remus's sleeve, pushing him towards the small, but still sufficiently big opening, deflecting curses and spells on all sides.

“We get out! Run!”

“Aaah, shit!” Remus cursed when a stinging sensation shot through his leg and he stumbled, almost falling over, clutching his thigh. “Something's hit me...”

“Just a bit further!” Sirius pressed out, dragging his friend along and letting him drop to the ground behind a heap that had once been a tent. Shielding them from spells, he threw Remus an approving look when the other man hit one of the Death Eaters in the face with a Stunning spell.

Only four of them left. They weren't doing so bad...

While the shield was still up, Sirius quickly cast a glance at Remus's leg, but it hadn't been anything fatal. It looked like a weak attempt at the Cruciatus curse, but quite obviously the lands did not permit magic of that order... yet. Some of the other curses had looked nasty, though...

“What happened?” Remus asked, when the attacks didn't resume as he'd expected. He shuffled to his knees, catching a glimpse of the advancing Death Eaters over the pile of wood and leather they hid behind.

“Dunno,” Sirius replied, flicking his wand blindly over their barricade and causing an explosion somewhere on the other side. With his other hand he was rummaging in his pocket. “James! Are you still there?” he spoke into the mirror, not shouting this time, but making it quite obvious that his message was urgent. He got no answer.

“Well, so much for that,” he cursed and let the mirror drop into the pockets of his robes. He threw one, two, three more explosive spells into the general direction of their attackers, but once again it remained discomfortingly quiet.

Without lowering the Shielding charm he was working, Remus craned his neck and sneaked another peek.

“I can't see them anywhere,” he murmured. “This is bad.” Looking around, he closed his eyes for a short moment when he saw a body lying motionlessly by the extinguished fireplace.

“...The shaman is dead...”

“Forgive me if I will mourn him another time,” Sirius grumbled, keeping an eye on the landscape behind them. “Where are the other men that were here? Where's Nadja?”

“I don't know... I can't see them anywhere,” Remus answered and ducked back behind the tent. “I'm repeating myself, but I find the silence slightly unsettling...”

“Yeah, you're not the only one... sh-STUPEFY!”

Remus didn't have time to turn around to see what Sirius had seen; he was suddenly pulled to his feet and shoved forcefully aside. The green bolt of light missed him by little more than an inch. Sirius hurled two spells in quick succession and Remus could hear how both of them were repelled by the other wizard's defence.

A moment later shards of ice were exploding in their faces and they cast all the Shielding charms they knew of, to considerably little effect.

“Shit, Remus... RUN!” Sirius screamed and hurled a bunch of hexes towards the tall, pale figure that advanced on them.

Red eyes flashed in the smoke.

Running for his life Sirius thought he felt the air behind them heat up as the curse flew after them. He pointed his wand over his shoulder and a sizzling sound told him that while he'd hit the curse with at least one of his own, it hadn't been strong enough.

Preparing to lunge forward and tear Remus to the ground with him, hoping the curse would fly over their heads, he suddenly caught sight of a curse coming from aside, out of the mist. It didn't look very strong, but it was surprisingly well aimed.

Sirius heard it hit the curse behind them and throw it off course enough to have it crash into the ground a little to their side and throw rocks and earth everywhere.

Voldemort seemed distracted enough for Sirius to look back over his shoulder to see him hurl another curse towards Nadja, who had appeared in the mist.

The green light that flew towards the young woman would not be blocked by anything she was able to conjure up, and Sirius knew it. He was about to shout a warning, when a blur of green collided with the curse.

With a sickening 'thud', the Coydiary hit the ground and Nadja screamed as she hurried towards her pet. Voldemort didn't look like he was anything more than annoyed and before he could cast another curse, Remus had caught the woman with a charm and hurled her out of the way.

They ran towards her and Remus dragged her away from Pain, who lay still on the ground, the whirling earth settling around him. Sirius cast a handful of curses as he ran after them.

“Run!” Remus shouted at Nadja, and Voldemort's cold laughter rang in their ears as he came after them. Sirius dug his fingers into Remus's back, urging him on to run faster, a cold lump in his stomach that somehow wrapped itself around his lungs and made breathing harder and harder.

“Remus...!” he called out when a wave of thunder seemed to be rolling over them from behind and Sirius felt how he lost the ground under his feet and fell into Remus. He heard Remus cry out in front of him and Nadja's scream got lost in the whirling chaos around them.

Out of the thunder, a strange song reached his ears and in a flash of bright red flame, Sirius's world went black, his arm tightly wrapped around Remus's weightless form.


	16. Chapter 16

Neither Sirius nor Remus had any recollection of how they came to be where they were when they opened their eyes. High above them the ceiling of the Hogwarts hospital wing looked the same as it ever had. Hours could have passed, days, weeks, or even years just as easily. They could still have been sixteen for all they knew.

Sirius's eyes looked around and the gentle warmth of relief spread in his stomach when he saw Remus in the bed next to his own. He was awake and they shared a look of quiet understanding before turning to their visitor.

“I must apologize for having Madam Pomfrey wake you up before she intended to,” Albus Dumbledore explained calmly. “But I thought it rather important to talk to the both of you as soon as you were well enough.” He paused for a moment and smiled. “I cannot begin to tell you how glad everyone is to see you back and well. I can only guess at what you must have been through. I believe your friends were worried sick over you.”

“Lily!” Remus burst out. “How long have we been away? Has she...”

“She had a healthy son on the thirty-first of July, which was three days ago,” Dumbledore replied, smiling. “I also believe the happy parents are waiting outside to share the news themselves once I am done with my visit, and before Madam Pomfrey will force you back into coma.”

Sirius nodded, feeling slightly regretful for having missed James's big day, but lacking the time to linger on it for the moment. Dumbledore shifted into a more upright position on his chair and unconsciously, Sirius did too, pushing himself up in his bed.

“What... what happened?” he asked, feeling a little dumb for not specifying further, but it was the first thing that came to his mind. Dumbledore contemplated him for a moment, then nodded at him and Remus.

“I'm not entirely sure, Sirius. How about you tell me what happened to you two...” he indicated the various cuts, bruises and bandages all over the two patients' bodies. “...and I can add what I know, or have guessed?”

They spent the next hour telling their story. How they had investigated the shack, walked into the trap, grabbed the Portkey, come to Siberia... escaped the shaman woman, overheard the Death Eaters, made it through the mountains, met Nadja...

“Nadja!” Remus suddenly remembered. “She came back with us! Didn't she? ...Where is she? Is she...”

“She did travel with you,” Dumbledore nodded. “However, she insisted on returning to her father as soon as Madam Pomfrey had tended to her. She said she had important business to see to. I also had no right to retain her after she told me briefly what had happened. Please continue with your story; we can talk about everything else later.”

They told him how they had learned of Voldemort's connection to Nadja's aunt, of the woman's craving for Remus's spirit and of the ritual that had bound the wolf – and Remus – to the old shaman. Remus absent-mindedly ran a hand through his hair that was still streaked with grey and, as Dumbledore explained, would not revert back to its original colour anymore.

Sirius spoke about the fight he had only witnessed from a distance and that Remus could not recollect at all.

Sirius swallowed hard when he reached the memory of seeing Remus's barely breathing body and with a shaking voice explained his decision to kill the bird after covering Remus with the Invisibility Cloak to protect him from Nadja. He described how he had searched for Remus's spirit, but hadn't been able to find it. His voice died and Remus took over, relating how he had suddenly drifted back to life, found Sirius, and somehow brought him back.

“Then everything around us suddenly exploded,” Sirius interjected. “There were Death Eaters and we... we were just running. We weren't doing so bad, but then Voldemort himself came...”

“Did he indeed? Well, I expect he was not altogether pleased that his plan to subdue the shamans failed because of you,” Dumbledore said, a hint of praise in his voice, and Remus shook his head.

“He was stronger than us. I don't know, but he seemed less affected by the place than we were, or his Death Eaters, even. Maybe we were just weakened... I don't know. We ran for it... I actually... I actually thought it was too late...”

“I see Fawkes and my Portkey arrived just in time then,” Dumbledore replied quietly, worry in his eyes as he looked at the two young men in front of him. He raised his hand to his face and took off his glasses, rubbing the root of his nose with two fingers before sliding the spectacles back on. “I dearly apologize to the both of you... I'm afraid my help almost came too late. I almost let you down.”

“Well, you didn't,” Sirius shook his head. “We're back safe, right? A bit battered perhaps... And Remus more so than me, I guess...”

A sad smile spread under Dumbledore's beard.

“Yes... you are back. Bright and talented as you are, you made it through all the trouble on your own. Facing magic few have seen, or are likely to ever see again.”

It was quiet for a moment.

“So they're dead? Did I... did I see that right? They died in the battle?” Remus eventually asked and the old wizard nodded, sadness on his face.

“Yes. Of all their people who were there, only three survived the fight and the attack of the Death Eaters, and those are Nadja, her cousin, and her little nephew. There is only one great shaman left now. His brother and sister have left this world and they will most likely not return.”

“Nadja's aunt,” Sirius prompted, a dark look on his face. “She died, too? Voldemort... Voldemort can no longer use her power for his purposes?”

“No, he cannot,” Dumbledore shook his head. “And... it is questionable whether he ever would have. She was too powerful to simply bow and be Voldemort's servant. From what I could gather from the letter Nadja's father sent me, his sister had her own reasons for doing what she did. It was unlikely that she would have joined Voldemort as a true ally.”

“She didn't trust him, either,” Remus interjected quietly. “None of them did... what did Nadja say? They found his soul was 'unwhole'. To shamans, this is the one form of evil they know.”

Dumbledore gazed at him sharply and then appeared to be lost in thought for a moment.

“I suppose that killing of the kind Lord Voldemort likes to practice it... would indeed damage a soul,” he said, a bit reluctantly, as if the thought displeased him immensely and he didn't want to talk about it. “To a point where a shaman would consider it a bigger, more profane evil than any other.”

“And yet she agreed to be his ally – and tried to kill us for good measure,” Sirius retorted.

Dumbledore was quiet for a moment, then spoke pensively.

“She didn't want to see her people die. All her life she'd watched the line of shamans in her family die out... Their government did nothing to prevent it, on the contrary. Voldemort offered them the opportunity for survival when everything else had failed. She took it. Also, if she hadn't formed an alliance with someone her brothers regarded as evil and undesirable, I doubt you would have received much help from them in the first place.”

“Well, lots of help from them we got,” Sirius grumbled. “I liked the bit especially when they didn't feel like mentioning that the whole ritual was gonna cost Remus's life...”

“They helped your cause, and in their eyes that merited the sacrifice on your side. No, listen...-” he added and raised a hand, when Sirius took a breath and looked like he wanted to interject. “-...I am not trying to deny your suffering. You've been through a lot, and I bow to your skill and enduring. But these people have seen a great deal of betrayal and neglect from our kind. There is no future for them in the world dominated by wizards anymore. Shamanism is nothing that can be taught in schools – it is passed on by blood, from generation to generation, parent to child. It was forbidden and prosecuted for decades, and once the ban was lifted, too few were left who remembered the old ways. The few remaining shaman families have turned their backs on our world and feel no obligation to take part in our problems. I do think that if there had not been a reason for them as a people to help you against Voldemort, they wouldn't have done it.”

Sirius fell quiet, swallowing down the couple of bitter words that had been sitting on his tongue.

“What did Voldemort offer her?” Remus suddenly asked, remembering his conversation with Sirius on the same topic. “We were wondering... what does Voldemort have that she would've wanted, despite all the reasons she had for not trusting him?”

“Voldemort himself doesn't have anything she could have desired,” Dumbledore replied simply. “But through him and the power he has here in our world, she saw a last chance to get what Chelyuskov had failed to get for so long.”

“Yes, Chelyuskov!” Sirius interrupted impatiently. “How does he fit in? Does he work for Voldemort? Or for the shamans? Or what is he, then?”

“And what happened to him?” Remus added and Dumbledore looked bitter for a moment, taking a deep breath and doing his best to sound matter-of-fact.

“Chelyuskov was sent to Azkaban and sentenced to the Dementor's kiss two days ago. For conspiring against the Ministry.”

“He was a Death Eater, then?”

“No.” Dumbledore's voice was quiet. “He was not a Death Eater. Chelyuskov was trapped in the middle between Voldemort and Siberia. It's hard to tell for sure... but it seems that Voldemort's attention was drawn to Chelyuskov through his vain attempts on behalf of his people – he is a descendant of Siberian shamans himself, even though he is a wizard.”

Remus nodded and Dumbledore's voice sounded vaguely defeated when he continued.

“Voldemort apparently realized what power slumbered in the Byrranga mountains, and he used Chelyuskov as a middleman to negotiate with the last three shamans he could track down. When Chelyuskov became aware of the mutual agreement between Voldemort and the shaman woman, he realized what such an alliance would mean. He was desperate to cut the link between the two and he tried to do it by breaking into the Ministry and removing what served as currency between Voldemort and the woman.”

Remus frowned. “But what was it?”

“A black piece of cloth that Grindelwald stole from the line of shamans,” Dumbledore answered quietly. “The Cloak of the Under World, as you said they call it. Grindelwald came to Siberia about fifty years ago and stole it from Nadja's grandfather after he was defeated by their spirits.”

“And they never got it back,” Sirius swallowed. “That's what she said.”

“Despite its being called the Cloak of the Under World,” Dumbledore continued, “Its main use for shamans was that of healing. Without the Cloak...”

“...they were helpless when war came and brought destruction and sickness to their lands,” Remus concluded faintly and shook his head. “There wasn't even magic necessary to kill them. Was that what Grindelwald wanted? Erase their people? Why?”

Dumbledore seemed to hesitate for a moment and he looked very old and tired as he looked at the two.

“I'm not sure we will ever be able to tell. Grindelwald was a blood purist, but... Myself, I believe it possible that...” he paused, looking out of one of the big windows. “I think he might have heard stories of the shamans of Siberia and... got curious. For all we know he went there to learn more about them. He was not irrational or stupid, but rather eager to learn and to seek new knowledge...”

“But then he stole the Cloak?”

“Apparently a quarrel broke out between him and the shaman priest he sought out. He was defeated by the old man and eventually stole one of his three Cloaks...”

“Hang on! Nadja said...” Sirius narrowed his eyes, trying to recall her words. “That he ‘took by stealth what he could not get otherwise’, or something like that. It means he had a reason for stealing exactly this Cloak. Just, why would he have wanted that one? Nadja said that the most powerful form of shaman magic is not that of the Under World, but that of the Upper World. That of eternity.”

“Why indeed...,” Dumbledore replied quietly, still gazing out of the window. He cast his eyes down. “It can only be guessed at, I suppose. He might have wanted it because he was simply misinformed. Shamans haven always been secretive. Maybe Grindelwald thought he would be able to use the Cloak in some way or other. Or he might have mistaken it for something else... it's hard to tell.” He shook his head and got up, pulling a letter from his pocket and looking at it pensively.

“I defeated Grindelwald, years later,” he mumbled. “And yet, I am ashamed to admit, I never bothered with the fate of the Cloak. It was only a piece of fabric when I inspected it myself during his trials. I was perhaps... too occupied. And when Chelyuskov's family began to make inquiries and tried to get it returned to their rightful owners, it was no longer mine to give back to them...”

“Who had it, then?” Remus asked and Dumbledore sighed.

“The Ministry, of course. They took it along with all of Grindelwald's other possessions that were deemed worth investigating... except a very few that were lost... or went elsewhere.”

“But if it belonged to the shamans, why didn't anyone do something to return it?” Sirius asked, feeling confused and mildly irritated by the headmaster. Dumbledore looked at him.

“The answer is almost frighteningly simple, Sirius – nobody cared.”

“What? Ridiculous! How could nobody have cared about a whole people dying?” Sirius snorted. If his legs hadn't been as wobbly as they were, he'd have got out of bed and begun pacing in agitation.

“Because they didn't.” Dumbledore's voice was calm, but a sharp bitterness rang in it, along with a certain hint of sadness. “The war had been so close to home for everyone. When the trials were finally over, after years of death, people wanted to return to their families and hold the ones close that had survived. A new minister was elected, and all force was geared towards rebuilding what had been destroyed, towards giving people back their homes and reuniting families that had been torn apart. After all those years of suffering, nobody wanted to care about what happened in other countries, what happened in Siberia.”

It was utterly quiet for a moment and Sirius sank back into his pillow. He felt strangely defeated by the realness of what Dumbledore had said. Quietly, he looked at Remus, who had been silent for a while, but cleared his throat now.

“So where is the Cloak now? Does the Ministry still have it?”

“Yes. Chelyuskov was caught before he could remove it. The Cloak – or at least what's left of it – has been locked away for years. We cannot use its power; it is a creation of shaman magic. To a shaman this Cloak means the ability to transcend into the world of death and return from it, unharmed. But to us wizards, all it can ever be is a window, a portal to the netherworld. Without the guidance of spirits, there is no returning from beyond. It will, I suppose, remain forever one of the mysteries of the reality we live in.”

Remus nodded and rested back against the head of the hospital bed. He looked somewhat exhausted and Dumbledore nodded compassionately.

“You're tired. I won't bother you much longer...” He frowned as a thought came to his mind. “I just have one last question – and forgive me if I force you to repeat yourselves – but as I understand it, you both were lost in the spirit world. How could you escape the grasp of death once it had got hold of you, if nobody else could? It's the only thing I don't understand. Any thoughts on this? Anything you maybe forgot to mention?”

He looked at Sirius, who shook his head weakly.

“I don't know. I suddenly stopped being pulled towards the vortex. As if it had let me go. I don't know why, I didn't do anything...”

Remus shifted in his bed and shook his head when Dumbledore looked at him.

“I... I don't know, either. It was the same for me...” He paused and bit his lip, looking a little flustered. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.

“Your guess is as good as mine, Remus,” he encouraged and Remus blushed.

“It's not a guess, really... I don't... I don't think that could've been it...” When he noticed both Dumbledore and Sirius looking at him intently, he blushed more and looked at his hands, glancing at Sirius from the corner of his eye. “When I was almost gone, I thought... I thought I could feel you kiss me, somehow, with the last bit of soul that was still connected to my body. And then I woke up and saw you from under the Cloak, how you collapsed...” He sounded as embarrassed at could be and swallowed hard. “When I saw you there covered in blood, I thought...”

He took a deep breath and fought the blush of shame that crept up his cheeks.

“It was really stupid, I know. And it doesn't even make sense, but I didn't know what to do. You looked so lifeless and you weren't breathing... well, for a moment I thought if I just held on to you and kissed you, you might...” He slapped his hand to his forehead and his voice turned into a groan. “How old am I, five?”

“Well, I did wake up,” Sirius replied quietly.

Remus had both his eyes pressed shut and didn't say anything at all, still feeling like an idiot. If he'd ever said something really dumb, that had been it.

Dumbledore looked mildly amused at Remus's embarrassment, but didn't seem to be judging him or his confession in the least. Smiling warmly and a little amazedly at the two, he eventually shrugged.

“I honestly can't tell you whether it was that. It does seem unlikely...” He paused. “But love can do wondrous things and go to incredible lengths sometimes...”

Sirius didn't really pay attention to what else Dumbledore said; he found himself busy staying in his own bed instead of walking over and smacking Remus out of his embarrassment. He was about to push back his covers when a sharp voice interrupted him.

“Oh no, you don't, Mr Black!”

With a whooshing sound, the covers shot back up and Sirius was pressed forcefully back into his bed. Turning his head he saw Madam Pomfrey come in through the door of her office.

“I'm sorry Albus, but time's up. They need time to recover...”

“But James and Lily are outside!” Sirius protested, cowering when the Healer glared at him with a stern expression.

“They can come back later. Do you have even the faintest idea what medication you are under, Mr Black? You need sleep for a strictly prescribed number of hours for the potions to work properly. At least five hours more. It was already irresponsible to wake you up for this short period of time...”

Dumbledore nodded sombrely and bowed his head to the two patients.

“I'm afraid I have to leave you to your recovery now. I will make sure James, Lily and Peter are informed of their next possibility to visit. But now rest.”

With those words he turned around and left, his steps quickening when Madam Pomfrey shooed him off. She was already shutting the curtains with quick flicks of her wand and the hospital wing darkened considerably.

“Get back to bed, Remus. I'll put you back into healing sleep...”

Remus sounded vaguely whiny as he sat on his bed, one foot touching the floor as he wanted to get up. “Just a moment! Poppy...”

“Don't Poppy me!” she cut him off, sounding a lot like a dictator despite her soft, hospital voice. “Under the covers. Now! You can chat later!”

Sirius didn't get to find out whether there was more arguing because in that moment, Madam Pomfrey's spell hit him and he drifted off into darkness again.


	17. Chapter 17

The sound of the shower running in the bathroom was the only thing Remus heard when he Apparated into his flat, feeling a little taken aback by how everything looked exactly like it had when he'd left it. The evening they had departed for Chelyuskov's estates felt like years ago, even though it had only been a bit more than a week. Actually, Remus wasn't quite sure what day it was now. He'd forgot to ask.

Poppy had let them go earlier that day and James and Peter had been waiting on coals to take them to the Potters', where Lily had received them with dinner and the probably cutest baby Remus had ever seen. Granted, the number of babies he'd seen in his life wasn't all that grand and probably didn't surpass three, but still...

Remus smiled when he remembered little Harry, who had been asleep for the biggest part of their stay, but already displayed uncanny similarity to James. _Uncanny with a big C_ , as Peter had declared with a wink. Sirius, who was going to be Harry's godfather would have grinned a circle around his head if it hadn't been for his ears, radiant with joy.

After a delicious dinner, they had sat down and given yet another, much shorter version of their adventures in the Arctic tundra. They cut a number of things short or left them out entirely, but nobody pressed the matter. Everyone was too happy to have the two back. Lily declared with a wink that Harry had actually come a day early when she'd learned that the two had gone missing.

They hadn't stayed long; both of them had grown restless after a while and felt a distinct urge to be alone for a bit. It felt strange to be suddenly back amidst their best friends. Sirius had Apparated straight home while Remus had wanted to pay his parents a quick visit to tell them he was alright. He hadn't been out of touch for all that long and since he kept them in the dark about his Order business they hadn't actually been worried, but it had felt good to see them for a night cup of tea. It had felt oddly comforting to have his mother fuss over him and the grey streaks in his hair. He'd told her that a spell had gone wrong and while she didn't really believe him, she gave it a rest, shaking her head good-naturedly before kissing him goodnight.

The sound of the shower died when Remus stepped into his bedroom, where the clothes he'd worn the day before they'd left still lay thrown onto the tangled up sheets. With a swish of his wand Remus straightened out the blankets and levitated the clothes onto the pile of laundry in a corner. The robes he'd been wearing after leaving the hospital wing followed half a minute later and Remus looked around his room, his hands stemmed in his sides.

“Does everything feel as big to you as it does to me?” Sirius suddenly asked and Remus turned around to find the other man standing in the door frame, wearing his pyjama trousers and a random shirt. His hair was towel-dry and messy.

“Ridiculous, huh?” Remus chuckled, but couldn't help feeling a bit lost. Sirius was right, everything felt incredibly big and spacious, which wasn't what he would've expected after returning from a place as endless as Siberia. “I never thought I'd ever come to think of this flat as big,” he added and Sirius grinned.

“Not really, no.” He stepped up to Remus and brushed a hand across his cheek, smirking. “I still think you should've kept the stubble...”

“You didn't keep yours, either,” Remus protested and Sirius pulled a face.

“I look _short_ with a stubble. And stocky. Why didn't you tell me?”

“You did?” A laugh escaped Remus and Sirius winked before looking a little more sober. Remus's laugh died and he sighed quietly.

“Are you tired?” Sirius asked and Remus threw a look at the clock on his bedside table. It was half past eleven.

“No. Too much of Poppy's induced coma, I'm afraid...”

“Me neither. If she accomplished something, then it was fucking up our sleeping rhythms...”

“You know, I have a feeling they were already fucked up before.”

Another moment of silence passed.

“Remus...”

Wordlessly, Remus took Sirius's hand and pulled him into an embrace. For a while they simply stood without speaking, eyes closed. Both of them were thinking the same thing, but neither could find it in them to put thoughts into words. So they stood, clinging to each other and suppressing the nervous shaking that threatened to creep into their bodies from somewhere deep down. Drawing in a slow breath, Sirius rubbed Remus's back.

“We got through, didn't we? It's over now...”

“Yeah, it is,” Remus choked out, his lips pressed against Sirius's temple, but not actually kissing it.

“So... where do we go from here, then?” Sirius murmured and Remus shrugged slightly.

“I don't know. Where exactly _are_ we even...?”

Sirius moved away a little and bit his lip, looking into Remus's eyes. Remus seemed at a loss. Somehow, things seemed so much more complicated here, in their flat in London, than they had in a tent in the Arctic tundra.

“I mean,” Remus hesitated. “Can... can this even work? This is war, Sirius.”

“It was war there, too.”

“You know what I mean,” Remus muttered. “It's not that I don't... don't... You saw what it did to us before...”

“You heard what Dumbledore said, though,” Sirius muttered after a moment's pause and Remus blushed.

“You know that our problem never was that I didn't love you. Or that you didn't love me.”

“I know.” Sirius shuffled. “But I've been thinking that maybe... maybe I feel more than...” His voice died and continued in a whisper. “What's that gonna do to us, huh?”

Remus looked as torn as he ever had.

“But how will you feel when we haven't been in danger of... dunno, being ripped apart by wild cats, or being spirited away by some shaman maniac for a week?” he asked, almost accusingly. “I mean, we're back to normal, now. We shouldn't... be too hasty.”

“We're still in danger of getting AKed any minute,” Sirius retorted. Remus rolled his eyes.

“Yes, and we did talk about just what that did to us before, right? What it almost did to our friendship.”

Sirius scoffed, looking stubborn and irritated all of a sudden.

“Okay fine, if you don't want to... Have it your way.” He took a deep breath and quite obviously swallowed down his stirring frustration. Back to normal, indeed.

A thought seemed to cross his mind and his voice was calm, but firm when he spoke again. “Come on a date with me, then.”

“What?” Remus blinked, looking slapped.

“Come on a date with me. A proper, official date. If you're going to be stubborn about this, give me... give me at least a chance to convince you. Another date, that's all I'm asking.”

“Wha-... when was our first date?” Remus asked, nonplussed.

The tension between them seemed to collapse as quickly and suddenly as it had crept up. Sirius exhaled with force and chuckled, looking exasperated. He stepped up to Remus and grabbed the collar of his shirt with both hands, shaking his head with a defeated expression.

“You know, I reckon a couple of days in the wilderness can count as a date in my life.”

An incredulous laugh burst out of Remus's throat before he could stop it.

“Oh yeah? You lead a sad life, Sirius Black.”

“Tell me about it. I'm trying to get this guy I've been living with for three years to go out with me... talk about sad.”

Remus looked genuinely amused and his fingers brushed across Sirius's hips. Something twinkled in the grey eyes and Remus felt his stomach churn. Maybe, just maybe, things were not that complicated, after all. Maybe he was being stupid and they could be really simple.

“Oh yeah?” He cocked an eyebrow, biting back his giddiness that started to bubble up to the surface. “I'm almost afraid to ask whether we'll be required to almost die on every date...”

Sirius grinned, looking slightly giddy himself and pulling Remus closer.

“No, the second date will go better, I promise. I just suck at first dates...”

“I don't think you did...” Remus grinned as he ran his hands up Sirius's back and he felt the other man arch against him. Sirius just shook his head and sighed, half laughing.

“You really can be _thick_ , Remus Lupin,” he whispered, leaning in and brushing his lips against the tip of Remus's nose. “Here you are, _kissing me back to fucking life_ and then telling me that maybe it wasn't such a good idea and we better forget it...?”

“I was...” Remus stuttered, “I wasn't... I... I was just saying...”

“Well, don't. Just shut up.”

Wrapping his arms around Remus's neck, Sirius pulled him close and kissed him, smirking into the kiss when he met the absolute lack of resistance in the other man.

“What?” Remus muttered as he ran his tongue across Sirius's lips, nudging them apart.

“Hypocrite...” Sirius mumbled, grazing his teeth against Remus's tongue before melting against him, turning their kiss into a fully-fledged snog. Breathless, they giggled against each other's lips as the tension in their muscles disappeared, hands groping and wandering, lower and lower.

“Say, does Sirius Black only suck at first dates...” Remus muttered breathily, “Or...”

“Pronounce this our second date and promise to call me...” Sirius cut him off, pushing Remus towards the bed. “And you can do with me what you want, really...”

Laughing and kissing, they tumbled onto the bed, struggling to get out their clothes without breaking lip contact all that often.

“How about I shag you out of this world?” Remus chuckled, as he licked his way down Sirius's neck and chest. “And then 'kiss you back into life', as you said?”

“Sounds perfect to me,” Sirius giggled. “Stop it, this tickles!”

“Hmm?” Remus replied amusedly, teasing the spot next to Sirius's navel with his tongue despite the smack to his head that a desperate Sirius had dealt him.

*

It wasn't that James had never seen Sirius's cock. Shared bathrooms for seven years made seeing each other's bits pretty inevitable, and they all had gotten over it soon enough. Cocks were cocks, hard cocks were usually morning wood. They'd all been there.

Remus's hand around Sirius's hard cock was a slightly different thing, admittedly.

Half of Remus's fingers up Sirius's arse were an _entirely_ different thing.

James felt as if a frying pan had hit him flat in the face when he quietly Apparated into the small flat to drop the robes Sirius had forgot at their place when he'd left earlier. The door to Remus's bedroom was half open and the light of the bedside lamp shone on his two friends as they knelt on the bed, entangled and kissing, oblivious to everything around them.

Blushing to the roots of his jet black hair, James dropped the robes and Disapparated.

*

When they had finally gathered enough strength to stir and move apart, Sirius turned around and lazily slung an arm around Remus, keeping him from getting too far away. A content, dazed expression lay on his face and Remus grinned stupidly.

“Are you gonna let me go so I can pull my arm out from under your heavy arse?”

Sirius shook his head, eyes closed. A laugh erupted from deep down in his throat.

“No fucking way in hell.”

Groaning and trying to free his arm, Remus eventually gave up and dumped himself onto Sirius, who let out another laugh.

“You're gonna break my ribs!”

“Well, move them! My arm's falling asleep...”

“I can't! You're lying on top of me!”

Remus looked up and gazed into Sirius's eyes, eyebrow raised.

“Complaining?”

“No,” Sirius replied, grabbing Remus by the shoulders and rolling them over. Looking down at him, he shook his head. “We should have done this three years ago...”

Remus pulled him down for a kiss and eventually broke away, licking his lip and narrowing his eyes.

“Mmh, nah. I'd have broken your poor little heart; I was on a trip of promiscuity...”

“Pah,” Sirius scoffed. “That trip wouldn't have happened if you'd had Sirius Black. It would have ended right there.”

“I guess it does now,” Remus muttered, smiling, and Sirius smacked him playfully.

“You bet it does! If you feel like you're not getting enough sex... no, scratch that. Like that's gonna happen...”

“Are you just asking me out on another date?” Remus teased and Sirius chuckled, snuggling up to Remus's shoulder.

“It's scheduled as soon as you've cuddled some life back into my lower parts. Be prepared!”

“Oh, I am shuddering...” Remus grinned, wrapping his arms around the other man and returning his kiss.


	18. Epilogue

_July 1981_

With a soft 'crack', James Potter appeared out of thin air, eyes firmly closed. A quiet chuckle reached his ears and he turned towards where it had come from, still not looking.

“Open your eyes, you prick,” Remus grinned, his voice low as he put down his book, “And be quiet.” 

James pried one eye open before daring to blink with the other. Sticking out his tongue to Remus, he shrugged defensively. “Well, one never knows with you lot. I've seen things... no, I don't even want to...”

Remus rolled his eyes. 

“It's not exactly our fault if you come popping in unannounced,” he replied and James raised an eyebrow at Sirius's sleeping form that was wrapped around Remus, snuggled in between his lover and the back of the couch. Remus tilted his head slightly to catch a glance at Sirius's relaxed features before he looked at James, who smiled.

“Mission last night go well?” he asked and Remus nodded.

“I think so,” he answered. “At least... well, he said everyone got home alive.”

“That's good to hear... How was the moon?” 

Remus smirked, squinting at the red line that ran across his cheek, missing his eye by less than half an inch. “I've had better ones,” he sighed. “But I've also had worse...” He blushed. “It... you know, it helps if he's with me. And not out somewhere on a mission...”

“Damn right, it's better when I'm there!” Sirius suddenly interjected loudly. “And if you dare say something stupid now, Prongs, I'll make sure to be naked and shagging whenever you suddenly fall out of the air!”

James snickered and Remus chuckled, cocking an eyebrow at Sirius. 

“I thought you were asleep?”

“I never said I was,” Sirius yawned, rubbing his face into Remus's chest and stretching his limbs with a purring sound. Collapsing back onto his boyfriend, he wrapped his arms around him and sighed.

“This is nice. James, be a darling and make us some tea, yeah?” 

“Prick, I'm your guest!” James laughed and Sirius shrugged, cheek in his smile.

“So what? I've made tea at your place. It's always the same procedure...”

Muttering under his breath, James shuffled off to the kitchen. He grinned when he looked back over his shoulder and saw Sirius shifting and crawling up to level with Remus. They were talking quietly and James shook his head as he began to busy himself with the kettle, figuring that making tea the Muggle way should give the two the time they needed for Sirius to wake up. 

“So how long've you been awake, then?” Remus asked, mock annoyance in his voice. “And have successfully kept me from going to the loo because you were draped all over me, huh?”

Sirius chuckled deviously. “The loo, you say? Beg your pardon, Mr Moony, but I don't think a full bladder could account for what I have perceived in my wrapped-around-you state over the last hour or so...” His fingers gave a gentle flick where they rested just above Remus's fly and Remus cast him a dry look.

“Oi, keep it decent, you lot!” James's voice called from the kitchen. “Tea's ready in a second!”

Laughing, Sirius pressed his lips to Remus's and they shared a quick kiss, sitting up and shuffling apart when James entered, carrying a teapot and a mug for himself. He poured tea for Remus and Sirius into their already used cups that stood on the low living room table, and eventually settled back into an armchair with his own tea. 

“Much better,” he sighed. “You look dashing with a pillow print on your cheek, Pads...”

Scoffing, Sirius rubbed his cheek. “Have you not only come to ruin my wake-up sex, but also to mock me because I've got someone tall enough to cuddle up with properly when I sleep?”

“Yes, in fact,” James replied. “I reckoned I had to do something to keep you from cooing over your boyfriend while your best mate is struggling to get a birthday party for his baby son set up...” He nodded at his two friends. “You'll be there, right? Day after tomorrow – it's not much, just some sitting together, Peter's gonna bring cake. Lily decided we'd wait with the booze until Harry could actually, you know, talk and all. Might be better for the development of his brain.”

“Yeah, but my brain's not developing anymore,” Remus replied flatly. “And from observation I can safely say, neither is yours. So we'll bring a bottle to celebrate, yeah?”

“I'll just pretend not to know,” James grinned and pointed his finger at Sirius, narrowing his eyes. “And, oh yes, Sirius – just so you know, NO BROOM! I forbid it! You hear me? NO BROOM!”

Sirius chuckled and leaned back into the couch, looking smug. “Well, I guess if you say no, I'll have to take it back to Diagon Alley...”

“Yes, you will!” James said sternly, before his features softened and a grin spread across his face. He winked. “Okay, and now that I've said it to you – and you!” - he looked at Remus - “You both know and therefore Lily won't be able to blame me anymore... it'll all be your fault and yours alone. I like that... Right, so which model did you get?”

Sirius laughed and shrugged, assuming an aura of mystery that caused Remus to snort into his tea. James pulled a face and muttered into his teacup, dropping light obscenities as he glanced at Sirius over the brim of his mug.

“You're a lousy friend,” James grinned, then spotted a piece of silver fabric on the floor. Diving for it, he gathered up his Invisibility Cloak from where Sirius had dropped it to the floor the night before as he'd come home. Brushing off imaginary dust, James threw him a stern look.

“Good to know how you treat my precious borrowings! Couldn't you at least throw it over a chair before going at each other like animals?” 

“It kinda kills the mood,” Remus grinned. “You see, I like to rip that cloak right off my boyfriend and ravage him on the spot.” He nodded towards Sirius. “Half his arse is usually still invisible by the time I've eaten it...” 

Sirius had dissolved into helpless fits of giggles at James's face and patted Remus on the back approvingly. Remus chuckled and James looked at his father's Cloak with a pitiful expression.

“I'll never look at it the same way again,” he sobbed, shaking his head as he, too, burst out in giggles. Setting his cup down on the table, he absent-mindedly began to fold the Invisibility Cloak, when a thought seemed to cross his mind. Narrowing his eyes at his friends, he asked,

“Say, you haven't got any confessions to make about this, have you?” 

“Erm... like what?” Sirius replied, a bit nonplussed and James shrugged.

“Dunno. I was just wondering... you didn't do anything _weird_ to it, did you?”

Remus blinked, honestly dumbfounded. He shook his head.

“No... you know, I kinda like seeing the idiot while I shag him...” He dodged Sirius's smack and threw his boyfriend a kiss. James rolled his eyes and tugged the Cloak away in his robes.

“Thanks for lending it to me last night,” Sirius remarked and James winked.

“Welcome. Anytime.” He emptied his mug of tea. “As long as I still have it myself. Albus said he wanted to borrow it sometime, said he wanted to check its efficiency or something...”

“It worked fine last night,” Sirius frowned and James shrugged.

“Yeah, I dunno. He's been asking me randomly about it for a while. Wanted to know whether it still worked fine and was still safe... I thought one of you sods might have done something unspeakable to it in the tundra that you were too ashamed to admit to my face...”

Snickering, Remus raised his mug to his lips. “And you think I'd go and tell Dumbledore, of all people?”

James stuck his tongue out at him. “Well, you're just the type to immediately consult a teacher if your Cleaning spells fail and you can't get your incriminating stains out of other people's clothes...”

“My Cleaning spells never fail,” Remus retorted amusedly. “Haven't once ever since I was thirteen.”

“Had a lot of occasion to practice them too, I imagine?” Sirius teased and Remus laughed.

“Good thing I have because your aim's abominable.”

“No it is not!” Sirius protested, blushing furiously. “Well... maybe in that particular moment you are alluding to right now it might be a little... off. But it's also hardly my fault, right?”

Remus chuckled and wrapped an arm around Sirius's shoulder.

“You know, I don't really know whether to laugh or cry at you guys,” James stated dryly and Remus winked as he emptied his mug and put it down on the table.

“Half the time I don't know myself,” he grinned, pressing a quick kiss to Sirius's temple before he got up and stretched his limbs. “And now, if you'll excuse me, I am beginning to need the bathroom rather urgently...”

“Old age, huh?” Sirius teased and Remus scoffed, running a hand through his greying hair, the one reminder he would always keep from their trip to Siberia – no matter how much his memories might maybe pale someday. Remus had decided he didn't mind; in comparison to the memories he had made over the past year it seemed like a small sacrifice.

Moments of the last twelve months flashed back to Remus's mind as he looked into the bathroom mirror. He had lost more than one friend, received more than just a couple of wounds. But still it wasn't quite as it had been. As hard as it could be to see past all the terror and grief sometimes, or the unspeakable, unthinkable thoughts that still haunted the back of his mind occasionally... there was something good underneath.

When he heard Sirius's voice echoing from the living room, Remus dried his hands and returned to his friends, who were talking in low voices.

“...can't be that bad?” Sirius mumbled and James shook his head.

“I don't know, but... well, yeah... apparently. Listen, I'll keep you informed, okay? I mean, it's hard to tell where things will be in a week, or a month – for all we know the war could be over by then. But I thought I'd tell you anyway. And well, ask you.”

Sirius swallowed, nodding. “You know I'll do it. In a heartbeat.”

“Yeah, I know,” James smiled and took a deep breath, shaking the seriousness off his face. He ruffled Sirius's hair and the other man smirked in protest.

“You're ruining my hair,” he complained half-heartedly, letting himself fall against Remus when he sat down next to him again. “He's ruining my hair...” he whined and Remus patted his head. Sirius gave him a shove in the ribs. “Hey!”

James shook his head and got up. “Alright, I'm gonna leave you two to the rest of your foreplay, then. I'm really not prepared to watch this any further. See if you can shag the whiny out of him, will you?” he laughed at Remus, who looked a bit flustered all of a sudden, but nodded.

“See you around? Hug Lily and Harry from us?” he smiled and James saluted them with his wand.

“Sure thing. Well, take care!”

With a 'pop' he disappeared and Remus eyed Sirius, whose head rested at his shoulder. He looked slightly pensive and Remus gave him a soft nudge.

“Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” Sirius muttered, looking up at Remus. “...No. Not really.”

“Can you talk about it?” Remus asked, pulling the other man close and falling back into the couch, hugging Sirius to himself.

“I'm not sure...” Sirius mumbled at Remus's ear, breathing quietly. “James and Lily and Harry, they might have to go into hiding. Like, proper hiding. With advanced magical protection and high-order spells.” He swallowed. “It really is that bad, huh?”

Remus pressed a kiss to Sirius's temple and nuzzled his face. “It's always been that bad,” he comforted. “Can you remember a time when it wasn't that bad?”

Sirius snorted and shook his head. “Fair point. What do you think, should we practice the 'kiss-each-other-back-to-life' thing again? Just in case it becomes necessary again...”

Remus smiled into the mop of black hair. “You know, that is the best idea I've heard from you today... apart from the wake-up shag that never happened.”

“I know, right?” Sirius chuckled. “Really, James has lots of qualities, all right – but timing's certainly not among them.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for NaNoWriMo 2010. It started out as a "Remus and Sirius shagging in a cave" oneshot and ended up replacing my original novel project because the shagging didn't want to happen. 
> 
> My thanks goes to all the people who cheered me on during the writing and posting process years ago on LJ, and everyone who has enjoyed the fic and let me know through comments, likes, and page views. Thank you! 
> 
> I have tons of trivia for this novel because I care way too much. Such as: 
> 
> It's never actually said in the story because I figured it would've been too random, but as extended background, Ursula Flint wrote the S.Celestus books to suck up to the Black family so she could marry Phineas Nigellus. The nonsense about the star Sirius was there simply because Phineas's brother Sirius died young and she figured it would count as an hommage. Nobody noticed that she was an utter n00b with her Latin, since sanguineus means “bloodthirsty” and celestus means nothing at all (I reckon she was going for caelestis). The name S.Celestus (scelestus), however, means “wicked, accursed, infamous, criminal”. So, uhm... fail. I never said she was smart.
> 
> I have taken the liberty of using dictionaries of the Nganasan language to create the magical animal names Syrnilus and Coydiary. I lazily butchered the Nganasan language, partly because it's fucking insanely difficult to get right, and partly to reflect the linguistic attitude of the (magical as well as real life) researchers of the late 19th century, who went places and wrote down languages the way they thought might be right. The Syrnilus is inspired by the Siberian crane.
> 
> Chelyuskov (or, as my beta nerakrose likes to call him “Randomkoff”) is (randomly) named after Cape Chelyuskin, which is the northernmost part of the eurasian continent and the Taymyr peninsula, where the action is roughly set, and no, as far as I could find out, the area I chose as a setting is not inhabited at all.
> 
> Nadja and her family are inspired by real people. It is never stated explicitly in the story, but after finding [this website](http://www.folklore.ee/~aado/dyuk.htm#dyuk) in my initial research on Samoyedic people (in search for plot for this originally pwp fic), I constructed the story of the shamans in Siberia using [Dyukhade Kosterkin](http://www.folklore.ee/~aado/dyuk.htm#dyuk) , his sons [Demnime Kosterkin](http://www.folklore.ee/~aado/dem.htm), [Tubyaku Kosterkin](http://www.folklore.ee/~aado/tub.htm) and their sister Nobopte (Kosterkina?) as bases for the characters that are referred to by Nadja (who is based on Tubyaku's daughter Nadezhda Kosterkina) as “grandfather”, “uncle”, “father” and “aunt”.
> 
> While I used select information I could find on the respective individuals, their depiction in this story is entirely fictional and my own. I do not claim my characters to be in any way representative of or connected to any of the above-mentioned people. I used random facts and myths as I found them (e.g. the wolf-tailed child, barusi, or Dyukhade's three drums/costumes...) to fit into my story within the Harry Potter universe. I do not mean to offend anyone with my depiction of the Nganasan shamans and people. Anything you recognize in this story - yeah, not mine.
> 
> I used a number of websites on the Nganasan people and a number of easily available reference books on Siberian shamanism to back up and fill out bits and pieces where I saw fit. Again, this is selective and in no way meant to give any serious picture of reality or history. The image I paint of Siberia and Samoyedic people is romanticized and purely fictional.


End file.
